


To Kill The Pain

by Eustacia Vye (eustaciavye)



Series: SHIELD Therapy [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Original Character(s), Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2020-08-10 14:27:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 56,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20136940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eustaciavye/pseuds/Eustacia%20Vye
Summary: Nightmares, flashbacks, panic attacks. It's not just Tony Stark in need of help to process the events of the Battle of New York and its fallout, but quite a few other people dealing with trauma. There is also the impending Convergence to worry about...





	1. Long Distance

Tony Stark drummed his fingers on Shannon Tran's desk. "Look, I get it, this is probably dangerous. But if you're Horns' therapist, then you already have grit to deal with it and probably high enough clearance for us."

Shannon had her hair loose, barely brushed in her haste to get to work. There had been another nasty traffic accident on the way, and she was starting to wonder if working with the Avengers would be similar. "Mr. Stark, I do appreciate the offer, but—"

"And we're rebuilding the tower. Avengers Tower has a nice ring to it, right? You'd get your own floor in the building—"

_"Mr. Stark!"_ Shannon said sharply, holding up a hand to cut him off. "Stop. That you're trying to bribe me is awful. I won't do it."

He blinked in surprise, not otherwise moving from his position in front of her desk, leaning in with an earnest expression. "What? What are you talking about?"

"I already have a place to live. It's not ethical to bribe a therapist. Don't say it's a gift, that's just ridiculous in scope and price, and I can't accept it."

"Oh! I think you misunderstood. I meant, a floor for offices and medical staff, whatever it is you'd need, too. I have no idea. Pepper always thought I should see one, but I never did. Bruce says you're a good one to talk to, and he'd know."

Shannon refused to feel embarrassed by the assumption she'd made about his motives. "You're flattering, sure. But I have a full caseload and I work for SHIELD."

"Look. This whole Avengers thing is Dread Pirate Fury's idea. So I'd think he'd be okay with you working on stuff with us. You'd already have the clearance."

"Not the time."

He appeared to be thrown for a moment, then snapped his fingers, leaning back with a pleased smile on his face. "Telecommuting. I can set you up with an account, and then you don't have to worry about bridges and traffic."

Shannon sighed at him. "You have no idea how to take 'no' gracefully, do you?"

Something shifted in his gaze, dark and hopeless and painful to see before it disappeared. "You don't know me, just the idea of me that's on TV. I get that. He's not that pleasant a guy, is he? But he's not me, not the _real_ me, anyway, and you don't know that." He held up a hand when she opened her mouth to apologize, much in the same way that she had shushed him. "I get it. I do. I did it to myself, I guess, and I can't undo it." He took a deep breath, that stark expression back on his face.

"By all rights, I should be dead hundreds of times over by now. But I'm not. I'm brilliant, but that's got fuck-all to do with my survival. And yeah, the band saved the city and by extension the world, but I thought that was a one-way trip."

Gulping and feeling ill, Shannon shook her head. "I'm sorry I underestimated you. Truly, I should know better."

Tony rubbed his jaw tiredly, and his hands had a fine tremor to it. "Look, maybe I went about it the wrong way. Pepper's got too much on her plate, dealing with the company, the bullshit I send her way, I didn't want her to have to deal with this, too."

"So you're the one that'll need therapy."

His laughter was somewhat tinged with bitterness. "Pepper'll need it for dealing with me. But the others... I'm building them space in the tower if they want it. And if they've got nightmares of aliens from outer space coming in and destroying everything..."

"You know," Shannon began delicately, "there are a lot of therapists with experience dealing with trauma. There are a lot of therapists who'd be more than willing to help you."

"Why aren't you?"

Shannon pressed her lips together unhappily. "You'd want a therapist with more experience in trauma. I'm a forensic psychologist. That means more involvement with courts and the legal system, not training in EMDR, brainspotting and stuff like that."

"You could learn it," Tony said stubbornly.

"Why me?"

Tony blew out a breath. "Look. I know you're working for SHIELD. Clint told me you'd helped him, and you're working with Loki. Weird shit went down that they originally wanted my help with, but I wasn't there. I gather you were caught up in it. So you're aware of the weird that we might get involved with, and you haven't run screaming yet. _That's_ what we need. Because who else would?"

She folded her hands in her lap and let out a breath. "I'm not long out of my certification."

"I know." He grinned at her blink of surprise. "I looked into you after Bruce mentioned you. SHIELD got past me before, and they're good. But I've gotten better, and I know what to look for. It's a question of time to devote to the project, but I've had a little help." He grinned at her, but she felt as though she was missing the joke. "There's a transcript of your debriefs with Dread Pirate Fury."

"Why do you call him that?" she asked, frowning. "That's disrespectful."

"Yeah. Kind of my thing, really," he said, leaning back in his seat. "And if it upsets him, the better. He's not the boss of me. _You_ can respect him because he's the boss of _you."_

Shannon frowned deeper, all but glaring at him. "I don't like this."

Tony looked at her in confusion. "What don't you like?"

"I come from a culture that stresses respect for elders and authority figures." She hot him a pointed look and waited for him to think over his words. "That's going to be my bias if we work together. I don't want you disrespecting _me._ Can you handle that?"

He pressed his lips together and seemed a little disconcerted by her words. "I've been flouting authority a long time," he told her finally. "Kind of a habit."

"There's a lot to think about."

"Yeah. But the telecommuting thing. Or I just come up here. Pepper's been saying I should get out of the lab more. I think she'd be ecstatic to know that this is the reason."

"It would be best if the reason was that you wanted to do it," Shannon pointed out.

That stark expression was back on his face again. "Want? Nah, I really don't. But I _need_ it. So that's what I gotta do."

Shannon was a sucker, she had to be. Because the next words out of her mouth weren't "I'm sorry, I can't help you," but "Let's go see what we can do with our schedules."

His brilliant smile was almost worth it.

***

Gina Skoglund shared a duplex in Putnam County with Shannon Tran, and the two had become good friends after becoming roommates. With the secretive nature of their jobs, Shannon would say that Gina was probably her best friend at this point. Her old college friends had gone on to a number of different jobs in the tristate area, mostly doing therapy for a living. She kept in e-mail contact with some of them, and any talk about work was usually the dance of avoiding names or situations that would identify patients. _Working with AA patients can be so frustrating!_ one of her old friends would write to her. _I'm pretty sure everything out of his mouth is a lie, just so I'll sign off on him getting his license back!_

What could Shannon say in response? _So sorry about that. I'm working with an interplanetary mass murderer right now, and balancing politics as well as family issues is painful._

No, that was too difficult to work around. All Shannon ever said was that her clientele was _interesting,_ as she was a government employee, and at least her benefits were good. It was all classified, so sorry, but the stories stuck in her mind and made her wonder where humanity went wrong sometimes.

The ones in private practice saw different kinds of challenges than she did, so it was an interesting perspective, at least. It just made her a little sad that Shannon couldn't ever truly discuss her work with anyone else.

Shannon grabbed a foil-wrapped slice of pizza out of the freezer as Gina came down from her room in a party dress, strappy sandals and dangling earrings. They sparkled as she did the obligatory runway spin, her dark hair pinned up showcasing the glittery gems. "Ooh, pretty," Shannon said, giving Gina a golf clap.

Gina did another spin, making her skirt flare out wide. She giggled, a little giddy. "I don't get a chance to dress up like this often, but Melody is taking me to a gallery after dinner tonight."

"Melody O'Rourke from Legal?"

"Yep!"

"Ooh. Third date," Shannon teased. "The big sex one. You're all waxed smooth," she added, wagging her eyebrows playfully.

Sticking out her tongue and raising a middle finger, Gina was still grinning. "She's hot, and we totally did it on the second date, for your information."

"And you didn't tell me!"

"You had all those super secret meetings!"

"You told the girls at work yet?"

Gina shook her head. "I didn't want them to tease me about it."

Shannon paused as she put the pizza into the microwave. "So... super serious, huh?"

"I think she's the one," Gina squeaked. "I don't want to jinx it, you know?"

"Oh, Gina, that's wonderful!" Shannon cried, going to give her a huge hug.

"I know it's early, but..."

"You click. You just know," Shannon said with a grin, pulling back. "That's fantastic."

Grinning at Shannon, Gina's eyes twinkled. "Don't burn the house while I'm gone."

"My grand plans for tonight are playing music while I read."

"Such a wild woman, you are," Gina teased.

"Maybe when Henry's back from LA."

"Ha! You guys are practically married already. What if he gets the job?"

"We'll cross that when it happens."

"Well, I'm gonna be selfish and say you're not allowed to move, just saying."

"He might stay with IBM."

"Even if he doesn't, you're not allowed to move."

Shannon laughed and then they heard the honk of a horn. "That's Melody."

"Don't wait up!" Gina called as she raced to the front door.

Shannon finally punched in the numbers for her pizza and took out her phone to text Henry while she waited. _I hope they're wining and dining you like the brilliant man you are!_

When she finished her pizza, she got a ping on her phone, Henry had replied. _It's not the same here without you. I think they want a call back. Come with me?_

_I'd love to. Gina says that I'm not allowed to move!_

_We'll figure out a long distance commute. :)_

_Going that well?_

_FANTASTIC opportunity._ He attached a few pictures to the message. _Think I can do the West Coast?_

_And give up winter? ;)_

_Oooh. Good point. Sold!_

_:P_

_There's a Little Saigon south of here. Great food!_

Shannon pulled a face. Her sister would be near there, then, and she didn't want to live in her older sister's shadow. _Make a list of recs for when we visit, if you're really sold on going out there after all._

_You don't mind?_

_I wont' stand in the way of your career._

Now there was a longer pause. _I won't get in the way of yours, either. But I do miss you, and I'd love it if you were out here with me. it's one thing for me to be a contractor, I can do that work anywhere. Not to pressure you or anything, and I know we never talked about long term plans. But this is getting me thinking about it._

Her stomach was twisting in knots and her heart was starting to pound. This wasn't the kind of conversation to have via text, so she dialed him. "Hey, you," she said when he picked up, voice warm and a smile forming on her face. "That good out there, huh?"

Henry's voice carried the warmth of his widest smiles in it. "It's even better. The opportunities here are amazing, the weather's great, there's a raise and moving stipend, and the people here are great to talk to. I love the layout here, and the work involved..." Henry heaved a contented sigh, and it wasn't hard to get him talking about the projects he wanted to work on.

"Sounds to me like you made your decision," Shannon laughed.

"Huh. Yeah, I guess I have, haven't I?"

"All you have to do is figure out the standard of living out there and where you'll live. Even if it's not exactly LA, California isn't cheap."

"Big enough for you to join me sometimes?" he asked, a hopeful note to his voice.

"I'd love to visit," Shannon began wistfully.

"I know. Your job there."

"It's not like they can transfer my caseload to California."

"You're sure about that?"

Shannon paused, because she wasn't sure of that at all. "I never looked into that."

Henry paused. "Not to pressure you. Or make you feel like you have to come out here. We could make it work out. If you want to," he added hastily.

"I want to. Make it work, I mean. I do. Um..."

"Not that I'm asking anything yet."

There was an awkward pause. "Yet?" Shannon prompted, her voice a squeak.

"Figures it comes up when we're three thousand miles apart."

"Well, we've kinda danced around it before."

"More like the moving in together part."

"I have a lease..."

"Yeah. Not saying you should break it. Just... Well..."

"Thinking about the future."

"Yeah."

"And... I do want you in my future," Shannon blurted.

Henry let out relieved laughter. "Oh. Okay, good, not just me, then."

"No, definitely not just you," Shannon said, expression soft as she sank further down into her couch. "I might've had some thoughts on the matter."

"Yeah? Really?"

"Really." Shannon was grinning like an idiot, but she was a happy idiot. "Just, you know, not wanting to rush things."

"Are we rushing things?"

"It's almost two years that it's been serious, probably not," Shannon admitted. "I guess it's just... Well, I wanna protect you, too. From the people and situations I've worked with."

Henry was quiet for a moment, but it felt like a thoughtful kind of silence. "They can be dangerous. The Battle of New York stuff. I get it. You know, I want to protect you from that kind of thing, too. I mean, it's your job, I know I can't, but the feeling is there. You know?"

Shannon still had the silly grin on her face. "Yeah, I know."

"And there's a much more important issue than that, actually," Henry pointed out.

"Oh?"

"Our parents. Don't tell me they haven't pushed you..."

_"Aiya,_ don't remind me."

He laughed. "I get the grandchild speech _all the time."_

"Jesus. Good thing I'm the youngest. There's already a few grandchildren, some of the pressure is off of me," Shannon laughed. "But poor you, Robert's younger."

"Ha, ha, laugh it up," Henry replied, sounding a little resigned. She did know how that felt at least, and made a comforting clucking noise. "I do miss you."

"It's only been three days."

"Three days too long."

Her stomach twisted in knots and her chest tightened. "It's been too long, yeah," she murmured.

As they bid each other good night, Shannon took a good look around the living room. She loved her life here, the job and the interesting clientele, the friends she made in SHIELD and the reputation she was building. She loved her duplex, the neighborhood, the familiarity of it. Pulling her knees to her chest, she clutched her phone tight in her hand and bit her lip. Long distance relationships were hard, even when they worked, and so many of them didn't work out. Her mother would tell her to move, to get out of forensics and do something else. Her friends from college would tell her she should never give up a career over a man, even if she truly believed that it would be forever.

"I'm not going to think about it today," she told herself aloud. Instead, she'd go to bed early.

Who said denial was always a bad thing?

***  
***


	2. Strike A Deal

Shannon would've liked to say that she'd never put her future on hold for a man, and that it would never keep her up at night. While Henry would never want her to put her career on a back burner for him, it wasn't as if SHIELD didn't have offices in California. She'd be leaving her friends behind, and her current caseload. As much as Tony Stark wanted to think that telemedicine would work, there was something to be said for therapy in person. Especially if the patient was on lockdown and had no other outlets for human interaction.

Unable to get back to sleep, Shannon threw on some clothes and grabbed her shoulder bag. She left a note on the coffee maker for Gina and then grabbed her keys to head to the Putnam facility. Not that any cases needed updating or charts had to be reviewed, but there was the magically climate controlled garden on the rooftop. She sat there a long time, not even opening up her shoulder bag for any of the books in it. Instead, she looked at the area around the facility, the trees and distant buildings, and the artificial flowers and greenery all around her. She was early enough for the sunrise, to watch the light dapple the land and trees, adding a twinkling and sparkling before it completely burned off the dew.

She was exhausted and couldn't think. When she tried, her thoughts ran in endless circles that didn't make sense. After a while, when the sunlight hurt her eyes, Shannon headed to the roof access door to head down.

Loki was awake now, looking anxiously out of the barred wall. "Are you well?" He looked as though she had woken him and had been worrying ever since.

"Huh? Oh, sorry. I couldn't sleep, just came to watch the sunrise."

He lofted an eyebrow at her. "I was not aware it was that intense an interest."

"I couldn't sleep. Seeing the sunrise was a bonus."

That didn't relieve his anxiety in the least. "Are you afraid for me? With the anniversary of the Battle of New York, I'm sure they will exact a price from me. I've accepted that, Dr. Tran. Please don't worry on my account."

If anything, Shannon felt small. She stepped forward and wrapped her hand around the one of his that had grasped at the bars. "You'll be all right. The World Council hasn't said anything to me, at least."

Heaving a relieved breath, Loki leaned his forehead against a bar. "Excellent news, I suppose. Though I admit, I care more that our work will proceed uninterrupted."

Shannon laughed a little. "I'm glad to put your mind at ease. You'll be okay, Loki."

"With your aid."

"And your own work."

"You believe the best in me," Loki murmured. "Even my supposed family does not."

"I think they see only what you've allowed them to see," Shannon sighed. "And that's a huge can of worms we're going to open later. Way later."

He gave her a relieved smile. "I'm not ready for that."

"You will be," she assured him.

"I don't know if I want to be," he admitted. "I don't think I'm ready to let go of the hurts."

"They're big ones," she agreed with a nod. "But eventually, you'll be ready."

Loki paused when she withdrew her hand to leave. "Why don't you give up on me?" he asked softly. "Everyone else has."

"They haven't," she corrected gently. "They just don't know how to show it in a way that's helpful for you. You're all speaking different languages and don't even realize it."

He laughed, a bitter edge. "Ah. I see now. You see the best in everyone. You carry such optimism, even when the world is bleak."

"Someone has to. Might as well be me."

There was no answer to that, and he let her leave without another word. But it made her think a bit. She was the optimistic one. The carefully controlled temper was what others saw, and Shannon felt like she was trapped by her own façade of confidence and competence. The world expected the best of her. _She_ expected the best of her.

It was impossible to please everyone all the time, she knew that. After her experiences that winter, she didn't want to put herself last anymore.

There were messages on her phone when she got into her office to boot up her computer. Before she could even start to play them, there was a knock on the door. Shannon looked over as she hit the on button, somehow not very surprised to see Natasha Romanoff at the door. She was in her usual downtime gear, a black jacket and jeans with a brightly colored shirt on underneath the jacket. "Something's up?" she asked in concern.

"Huh?"

"You don't usually clock in early."

"Do you track that?"

She shook her head and shrugged. "It's been a few months since you got hit with a magic artefact, and no one's really made you talk about it. So I set up alerts on your login after it happened. Anything out of the ordinary, and it'll alert me so I'll check it out."

Shannon didn't know if she should have been flattered or insulted by Natasha's concern. She chose flattered. "Oh. It's nothing to do with magic."

"Are you sure?"

"Definitely. I've gotten used to that weird double vision. It only bothers me when I'm tired."

Natasha still frowned with concern, but there was nothing wrong with the statement on the surface. "So then what brings you here before the sun's even up?"

"Couldn't sleep."

She loved an eyebrow at Shannon. "Couldn't sleep," she echoed, clearly dubious.

"Seriously. Couldn't sleep, didn't feel like staying at home, so I went up to the rooftop garden for a while."

"Is everything okay with your family?" Natasha asked in concern, stepping into the doorway of Shannon's office.

"Yes, thank you," Shannon said with a half smile. "They're fine."

"So it's something else heavy."

Shannon let out a breath and compressed her lips for a bit before she sat down heavily in her chair. "Yes, but no. I think I've made my decision, but just have to wrap my brain around it and figure out how to make it work."

"What is it?"

"Henry's going to take a new job offer in California. His contract was up with SHIELD anyway."

Understanding dawned on Natasha's face. "And it's a serious relationship."

"We've kinda tiptoed around it because of our jobs, but yeah. It's serious and we'd like it to eventually be more serious. But still didn't say anything. I think we don't want to jinx it," Shannon added with a laugh.

"SHIELD is a rather large organization," Natasha said in a neutral tone. "And, truth be told, there's talk of transferring me to DC." At Shannon's incredulous expression, Natasha gave her a wan smile. "Steve's kind of lost, and let SHIELD transfer him there because it was too hard on him to deal with a New York different from everything he's ever known. And let's face it, the DC crew would probably eat him alive if he's left alone."

Shannon gave her a knowing smile, shaking her head in a fond sort of way. "Saving Captain America from the cesspool of the Potomac?"

"Something like that."

She openly grinned at Natasha's cagey smile. "And Clint?"

"He'll land on his feet without me. He always does."

"Probably not as well if you're not there to keep him in check."

"It shouldn't be my job to pick up after everyone just because I'm the only woman on the team."

Crossing her arms over her chest as she leaned back a bit, Shannon ran the tip of her tongue over her teeth. "How about this? We each run the logistics for each other? That way, it's less of an emotional decision we're reacting to."

Natasha raised an eyebrow at her. "I'm perfectly capable of being logical about it."

"Oh." Shannon's expression fell. "Then help me? I know I'm procrastinating. It feels..." Her voice trailed off and she uncrossed her arms to spread them wide helplessly.

Natasha's expression softened. "Sure. I can help you with that, and show you how I'd do it."

"And your friend Tony wanted to start therapy. He mentioned doing telepsych to save me on a commute to the Tower, but..." Shannon sighed.

Concerned, Natasha perched on the edge of Shannon's desk. "He does need it, and never admitted to that before. What does your gut say?"

"To make it work. Do therapy with him, move to California, live with Henry, keep working with Loki, all of it."

She nodded firmly. "Then we'll make it work."

"I know there's offices there, tech to make it easy..."

"Like it or not, you're a very valuable asset to SHIELD," Natasha began, smiling grimly when Shannon startled. "You are, and don't ever forget that. Do you think Loki'll work with anyone else now?"

"No. They won't try to earn his trust the way I did."

"Some of it has always been because you give a shit. You're idealistic and idealistically pure. I can't say the same for a lot of other people here. Yes, they want to help, but there seems to be an agenda, you know?" At Shannon's nod, Natasha shrugged. "You don't have any agenda. You're as honest as you seem to be."

"Is that a bad thing?"

"For the ones you work with? No. They need that honesty. They need you to be the one honest thing in their lives, and you can be that."

Shannon thought about it for a moment. "We all play a role in the machine, don't we?"

"Yeah," Natasha admitted heavily. "But you can use that role as leverage here. I think Fury will actually listen to you and make it work."

"I'm not that special, though."

Natasha looked at her sharply. "That scepter thought you were. Loki thinks you are. _I_ think you are." She smiled gently at Shannon's startled noise. "Yes, really. You value the lives you help. You hold power that way, and you really try to do right by it. That's a responsibility not everyone takes seriously, and I'm proud of you for sticking to it."

"Really?" Shannon squeaked, almost ashamed of her voice.

"Really," Natasha said with a nod. "It's a different kind of strength to bear the responsibility and do right by it."

Shannon thought that over. "Oh. But I couldn't do anything else but this. That wouldn't be right."

Smile broad and fond, Natasha nodded. "And that's why I'm going to make sure it all works out for you."

***

Director Fury had a bit of a glower on his face as Shannon spoke to him, but she had her hands folded in her lap and a pleasant smile on her face. After her experience with the scepter, he didn't scare her as much as he used to. Not that she could really be blasé about these meetings, but if she was pleasant and calm, it should go fairly well.

"We don't have access to create another anti-magic cell for Loki," Fury said after a moment.

"But Thor and Queen Frigga..."

"Are dealing with the Convergence issue on Asgard."

"Oh." Shannon thought about it for a moment. "I know there are minor magics that he's allowed to do, but he hasn't done anything even in areas that don't prevent him from doing magic."

"That doesn't mean he won't."

Shannon nodded. "Very true. But if we make it clear that this is more contingent on his continued good behavior, like it's probation, then he'll likely continue."

Fury continued to frown. "I don't like that."

"We'll have to take that step at some point."

"It's only a year after the Battle of New York and they live for thousands of years. I'm not convinced this is genuine."

"We won't know until we try. I know it sounds naïve, but he put in genuine effort in sessions."

That everpresent frown remained. "I don't trust him."

"I trust him not to deliberately harm me or cause the utter destruction of this world," Shannon replied with a shrug. "Past that, not so much. We'd need to make it worth his while. He's rather mercenary that way."

Still not pleased with that answer, Fury stared at Shannon. "So what do you propose?" he asked after a while, when it was evident that Shannon wasn't going to say anything else.

"I don't have anything in mind. What I know is that he needs to belong somewhere. He needs to have a purpose. Being in a cage with no possibility of a key is going to drive him nuts."

"What I'm hearing is that he should be an agent."

"Do you have former enemies as agents?" Shannon asked incredulously.

Fury didn't look amused and didn't answer her. "You say we have to give him a purpose." She nodded. "And we need to watch him." Another nod. "So it balances everything you're saying. He'd never be an actual full agent. Maybe a consultant."

"I'm surprised you're considering it."

"Where else would he go?"

"There really isn't anywhere else," Shannon admitted.

Fury nodded. "I've read over all the transcripts. You're our Loki expert, and if you're heading to California, we need contingency plans to keep him under lock and key."

Shannon frowned at Fury. "You're reacting out of fear."

"So should you."

"Nothing good comes out of that, Director. You have to understand things, then make the decision." She shook her head. "You can't treat him like a weapon you can hoard and use whenever you feel like it. That puts you in the same category as his father, and we both know how he feels about Odin."

Fury made a displeased sound, but didn't disagree with her. Small victory, but still a victory.

"Have thought about _asking_ what he'd be willing to offer SHIELD?"

"That might be something to ask him when you tell him about the move."

"It's not set yet. No decision's really been made."

"If you weren't serious about going, you wouldn't bring it up," Fury told her flatly. "You're not going to waste my time on hypotheticals."

Shannon licked her lips nervously, tightening her fingers together. "I suppose not."

Fury's expression didn't soften, but his shoulders had less of a tightness to them. "What do you want to do?"

"I'm moving," Shannon said, voice firm. "It's scary, the logistics are probably going to be a nightmare, but I'm moving."

"You're right, the logistics are going to be a nightmare. Trying to get in touch with Thor or his mother to recreate that cell..."

"Or we don't."

"You think you can control him without it?"

"No. I don't think anyone can. But we give him a choice, and show a measure of trust, and we can build on that."

"He could run."

"Trust, Director. We trust he won't run or hurt us. He trusts that we won't harm him."

Fury snorted. "As if we could. The Tesseract is gone."

"We can hurt him, Director. There are plenty of ways to hurt someone, to generate fear and hate. The point is, we're supposed to be better than that."

Contemplating that for a moment, Fury leaned back in his chair. "You'd have to be his handler. You'd know how to keep him in line."

Babysitting a hamstrung god accused of interplanetary atrocities. If that wasn't an impressive line to add to her resume, she didn't know what was.

***

Loki looked up in surprise when Shannon came to his room. "You so rarely arrive unexpectedly with good news," he commented.

"Well, I suppose this all depends on your point of view."

"What does?" he asked cautiously.

"I'm moving to California," she told him. Just as his face began to close off, Shannon smiled. "So are you."

Frozen in place, the book in his hands fell to the floor. "What?"

Shannon entered the room and sat at his desk, still smiling at him. "This involves some judicious sharing. But, I've been in a relationship for a while now, and my partner got an amazing job offer. We've never really discussed it before, but he'd like me to join him, and I want to. I'd still work for SHIELD, still serve as a forensic psychologist."

"And me?" Loki asked, voice somewhat hoarse as he held himself very still.

"I'm considered the expert. So where I go, you'll have to be so we can still work together."

Loki released a relieved breath. "Oh. Oh."

"There are various plans that can be made for you, depending on what you choose."

He remained still, eyes focused on her calm, relaxed face and body language. "I get a choice?"

"Of course. Maybe not the moving part, since I'm kinda making that decision for you." Loki made a negligent wave of his hand, indicating he didn't mind that. "The choice you would make determines what you would do there." At his questioning expression, she remained smiling and leaned forward. "Would you like to be an agent?"

For a moment, he seemed stunned, then burst out into incredulous laughter. Shannon leaned back, an uncertain expression on her face. "I thought you'd like that."

"Me? An Agent? A figure of righteousness and justice?" he scoffed.

Shannon shook her head. "No. Someone with particular skills and knowledge, and can help the everyday person not get harmed." She gave him a bright and hopeful look. "I know we've discussed the concept of weregild. I thought you'd like to pay it back this way."

He blinked owlishly at her. "Why?" At her confused look, he heaved a sigh. "Why did you think this would appeal to me?"

"Because you get to use your knowledge in a constructive way." Shannon paused, expression hesitant and doubtful. "I thought you'd like the choice."

"You ask for my opinion far too much," Loki sighed.

"Maybe you consider your own opinions far too little," she countered, a sharp edge to her voice as she sat up straighter. "You _hate_ being contained and belittled and dismissed. In this location, you're all those things."

Something in his shuttered expression crumpled. "Is that how you see me?"

"Am I wrong?"

Loki was quiet for a long moment. "They'd seek to use me for their own ends, use me as a tool. That's no different a fate than any other stolen artefact."

Shannon shot him a horrified expression. "No, never. It wouldn't."

"What makes you so sure your masters won't use me as a weapon? Point me in the direction of their enemies and then force me to use the undermagics available to me?"

She shook her head. "No, because _I_ would be your handler in this case. Everything they ask of you has to go through me, and I would _never."_

"Not on purpose."

With a hurt expression, she leaned back in her chair. Loki held up a hand, but it wasn't to flash the golden cuff at his wrist. "You're a good soul, Dr. Tran. You wouldn't cause harm if you were aware of it. But your superiors don't have the same qualms you do. You remain still so hopeful and optimistic, and those men are not like you."

Contemplating that, Shannon slowly nodded. "Okay. This is true. My role has never been one in the field. I'd probably be easy to manipulate in that sense. But you're also forgetting something about this arrangement."

"What's that?"

"I still have a colleague in Natasha Romanoff. She'd be able to help me sort through those kinds of lies."

"She lies in the service of liars and killers."

"For a greater good."

"Whose?" Loki asked quietly. "Who determines this?"

Taken aback, Shannon didn't bother to mask her shock. "Loki..."

"If this is to be done, it must be done in full awareness."

"Because it's not paranoia if they're really out to get you."

"Just so," Loki agreed with a nod.

Shannon chewed on the inside of her cheek thoughtfully. "So where does this leave us?"

"I follow you," he began slowly. "This can be a trial of sorts. But it will have to end if they break your ideals."

"What about yours?"

His expression was at once bitter and sad. "Mine have already shattered. I think there is no more to break."

Impulsively, Shannon leaned forward to grasp his hands in hers "There are, Loki. Maybe you haven't realized it yet, but you still have limits, and there are still boundaries. We'll make sure you don't cross any of them."

He shot her a mirthless smile. "Perhaps it's worth a try."

"That's the spirit!" Shannon chirped, grinning. "I'll keep the optimism, you keep the surly disposition. Deal?"

Loki rolled his eyes, but there was a softening in his posture. "Deal."

***  
***


	3. Being Stubborn

Part of the modifications to Shannon's contract with SHIELD actually included lodging in a gated community in Garden Grove, California. Nothing was included about a roommate, so Henry made plans to move in with her. Shannon suspected that this was Natasha Romanoff's doing, because it was hardly a common amendment, even for senior agents. Both Shannon and Henry had going away parties with coworkers, then were busy with packing up belongings and going through various lists to be sure the move across the country went relatively smoothly. It was a lot of work over and above the usual workload, and was exhausting.

Shannon decided which agents' care was finished, or close enough to it that she could finish up their work. She also decided which had to be referred to others in the department. She closed out as much as she could, did chart summaries the way she had been taught to do in school, saved her notes and files to a flash drive and packed up her books.

It felt odd to reduce her office to the bare bones, to have it all packed away in boxes for the move. Loki had far less to pack, a pitiful amount of belongings that didn't even match the books and journals that Shannon wanted to keep. He was brought to the office for his last session in New York, and cast his eyes around the room. "It seems... larger now."

"It's not much lived in anymore, I guess," Shannon told him a little ruefully. "It's okay if it feels cold. It kind of is."

"Feelings," he murmured distastefully.

"Yeah, those," Shannon agreed with a grin. "Change is scary. It doesn't matter if it's a change you wanted or was looking forward to, it's still stressful."

Loki looked at Shannon carefully. "Are you scared, Dr. Tran?"

Shannon tilted her head to the side as she contemplated the question. "It's not fear," she said finally. "Anticipation, definitely. I'm looking forward to seeing the new place I'll live, the new office, the new coworkers. It'll be different. No science division to hang out with."

He caught the wistful note in her voice. "You'll miss your friends. Your roommate."

"Yeah, I will. We'll keep in touch, sure. But any relationship takes effort to maintain. A lot of my high school and college friends have moved on to different places, and Facebook can only do so much. There are a lot of things I can't talk about, a lot I won't. So my friendships here might fade in time."

Loki sat down heavily. "You have relationships, though."

"Everyone does," she pointed out. "Even empty ones are still present. They're just marked by absences instead of presence," she said when he stilled. "So the family you cut off still influences you, still leaves a mark."

He blew out a slow breath. "That is possibly the kindest reference you've made to the ruptures."

"We could both use a little kindness right now, don't you think?" Shannon asked softly.

"I am not kind," Loki murmured. "I am not _good."_

"Goodness is a choice. It's a thousand choices, the tiny decisions that you don't think matter. It's the decision to change and follow through, to do no harm, to do the best you can when you're not faced with much."

Loki looked at her almost in despair. "After all this time and what you know of me, you are still able to hope."

"I'm stubborn that way."

He burst out into startled laughter, and she laughed along with him. "I don't know if I have it in me," he murmured when he stopped.

"That's why you're stuck with me," Shannon told him, shrugging. "Not in a tell you what to do kind of way," she continued with an earnest expression. "My role as your handler isn't going to be that kind of thing. But that I'm still your sounding board. We sill have our weekly sessions, and a separate meeting to touch base on whatever cases you work on." At his start of surprise, she smiled thinly. "We're not going to jeopardize your progress just because some paper pusher thinks a magic user on staff is a good idea."

"Thank you for caring for me."

Shannon smiled warmly at him. "You're welcome."

"I don't think it's only because of your job."

"You can be very charming when you put your mind to it."

"I _am_ a prince, and I was a king."

"Pft. Some people take that as an excuse to be a dick, you know."

"I was good at negotiations, once."

She grinned widely at him. "And you once said you were only good for your magic."

He stilled and leaned back in his seat. "Oh. You're right, I've said such things. I believed it at the time I said it."

"So you believe me when I say you've grown?"

"It's fair to say that you have as well."

"Of course. We're the sum of all our experiences. Everything we live through leaves a mark. Maybe it's a lesson, or a memory, or even a preference we take with us. We're always growing."

Loki looked down at his cuffs, then at a stray pen on her desk. He twitched a finger, sending it across the empty space to land next to the computer. "I would have discounted that, ages ago. I was capable of much more than parlor tricks."

"It's not the size of the spell," Shannon told him, fingers dancing in the air as she traced the thread of magic she'd seen. "It's how you use it, how creative you can be."

"Power is still power."

"Patience can make even the smallest of magic formidable," she countered. "It means you need to be clever, quick on your feet, and able to improvise."

"Proverb of your people?" Loki guessed.

"Nah. I made that one up. But I guess the closest proverb I know would be that if all you've got is a hammer, everything starts looking like a nail."

Loki started chuckling. "That can certainly be true."

"You're more than just magic, Loki. I'll be there to remind you of that."

"I do believe you have my best interest at heart."

"Someone has to, right?"

"Right. Might as well be you," Loki admitted. "My decisions have been... questionable at best."

Shannon shrugged. "That was the best you were capable of at the time. If you were in that position again, what would you do? What would you change?"

His lips twisted into a moue of distaste. "I would never have fallen. My pain at being lied to... if I did not try to annihilate an entire realm, I would not have fallen. I would never have been pointed at this realm."

"What could you have done instead?" Shannon prodded.

"They _hurt_ me," Loki said, voice small and pained. "I could never go to them for comfort."

"So what could you have done?"

"I don't know."

Shannon clucked her tongue in disappointment. "Loki..."

"I don't," he repeated mulishly.

"Take a breath," Shannon barked.

Loki looked away as he did so, but he did so.

"What else could you have done? With what you know _now,_ what could you have done back _then?"_

"Hid, I suppose. Drown in the tales of monsters to know more of my origins. Try to drown myself," he added as an afterthought.

"Loki..."

"You never said I had _healthy_ coping skills."

Shannon snorted. "You learned more than that."

He looked down at his hands, seeming to be chastened. "I don't fight as the Einherjar do. I plot, I plan." He looked up bleakly. "I am empty if I do not end in victory."

"Maybe on Asgard."

"They would isolate me again if I displease them."

"I think we're talking about different things now."

Loki rubbed his face tiredly. "Everything was weighed, measured, counted. If not the best, if not useful, who else could I be? And if they lied about my origins, was all that came afterward, all that praise and regard, nothing but a lie also?"

"If it was?"

He shuddered. "Then it doesn't matter what I would have done instead. It will be the same here."

"How accurate are those thoughts?"

Loki blew out a disappointed breath. "We talk in circles."

She shot him a pointed look, but remained silent.

"What if it's awful in California?" Loki finally asked in a small voice.

"Then we'll deal with it together."

Nodding a little uncertainly, Loki looked around the office. "I hurt her very much. Frigga, I mean. Because of the lies she told me. She never apologized for them."

"No, she didn't," Shannon agreed.

"It hurt me, that she'd lie. About something so fundamental."

"Because what if everything else was a lie?"

"Yes," he said in an agonized tone. "So if it was a lie, if I was not her son but a monster, if I was not a good pupil but an impostor on the throne..."

"So you hurt her back the only way you knew how. You tried to rid of the thing that you didn't want to be."

Loki flinched, then nodded as he turned away from Shannon. "I still feel it now. The burn of her words. The false love she gave me."

"What if it wasn't?" He looked at her incredulously. "What if she _was_ proud of you as a student? What if she really did love you as her son? Maybe that's why didn't apologize. She didn't think there was anything to apologize for."

"But there was!"

"Maybe she was doing the best she could."

"She is the All Mother," Loki choked.

"Mothers can make mistakes," Shannon said gently.

"She's not supposed to."

Shannon leaned forward, hands flat on her desk. "She lives for a long time in a place that never changes. What chances does she have to grow? To change? To learn about fear and kindness and being fragile?"

Loki had a vulnerable cast to his expression. "She could never."

"So she did the best she could with what she knew."

"You think I should forgive her," Loki said after a moment. His tone was flat, accepting.

"I think you should choose what's right for you. My personal bias is for families to stick together, but if there's toxicity there, maybe you shouldn't."

"What if the toxicity is all me?" Loki asked in a tiny, fragile voice.

"Then that's the best case scenario," Shannon told him honestly. At his incredulous expression, she gave him an earnest one. "If it's all you, you can control it. You can change it. Because if it's all her, there's nothing you can do about it. You can't change other people, only the choices you make about yourself."

Loki bit his lip. "You think I can."

"If you want to."

He looked at her, uncertain. "I'm changing."

"All the time," Shannon agreed. "It's hard. It's scary. You'll be tempted to run and hide. It seems like the first instinct you have when in trouble, yeah?"

"Maybe," Loki said in a sullen tone, eyes sliding away from hers.

"So it's going to be even more scary than going to California with me. Because you'll have to be known. You can't run. You can't hide. You can't lie about who you are and what you're capable of," Shannon told him firmly.

"I'm capable of atrocities," he reminded her.

"Yes, you are," she agreed. "And saving someone who might never have been able to get back home on her own."

"The choices you make," Loki murmured, nodding. He had that vulnerable cast to his expression as he took in Shannon's appearance, from the business casual dress to the carefully combed hair and makeup to complete the professional look. None looking at her would ever know about the time she had been whisked away by the Tesseract.

Shannon was nodding. "Exactly. We do the best we can with the tools we have."

He bit his lip again. "Even me?"

"Even you," she agreed. "And you won't be alone to make them."

Loki's relief was a palpable thing, and she smiled fondly at him. "I will try," he said in a small voice, sitting up straighter.

"That's all I ever ask."

"Pft," Loki scoffed, serious tone breaking. "You ask for far more than that."

_"Effort!"_ she laughed. "I'm not here by myself, you know."

His expression softened and matched hers. "No, you're not. And I thank you for not giving up on me," he said softly.

"I told you," Shannon said brightly. "I'm stubborn that way."

Their laughter closed out the session.

***  
***


	4. Join As One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real Life was hectic so I didn't get a chance to post. But I have a butt load of chapters, not to worry. :D

The townhouse that Shannon and Henry moved into was part of an elegant gated community in Garden Grove. There was a thriving Vietnamese community in the area, with events, stores and people around that were thrilled to find out that Shannon was Vietnamese. They were a little less so when they saw that Henry was of Chinese descent, though they weren't so obvious about it. He was an engineer and had done government contract work, which helped increase their opinion of him, but that didn't matter to Shannon in the slightest. Her own family approved of Henry, that was the important thing. Strangers and their classist, nationalist ways didn't affect her way of thinking at all.

Sprawled across the width of the king sized bed she and Henry were going to share, Shannon stared at the ceiling and giggled. Henry was setting up his half of the walk in closet, and came over to stand near her. "Something funny?"

He was taller than her five foot two inch frame, but she'd never felt intimidated by that. When Henry flopped onto the bed beside her, stomach on the bed, she rolled over to mimic his position and bent her head next to his. She reached out to grasp his hand, linking their fingers. Still grinning, she leaned over and kissed his cheek. "It feels so surreal, you know? We're living together now. We're in _California._ It's amazing."

Henry's brown eyes lit up as he looked into hers. "Oh, good. I didn't want you to regret the move. Or moving in with me."

Squeezing his fingers, she grinned at him. "The unflappable Henry Wu can flap after all?"

He snorted and tugged on their linked hands, making her lose her balance on her elbows and fall in his direction. "Flap, flap, baby," he teased, grinning at her. "This is huge, you know. Far from where we grew up, big adventure..."

"We're close to Disney now!"

Laughing, he pulled her over on top of him as he rolled onto his back. "Big steps for both of us. But I think as long as we're together, we'll make it."

Shannon leaned down and kissed him. _"Em yeu anh,"_ she said, eyes dancing.

He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her back. _"Wǒ ài nǐ,"_ he replied.

"This is going to be an _amazing_ adventure together."

Nodding solemnly, Henry grinned. "I haven't prepared, but..."

"But?" she asked, frowning.

"Want to make the adventure permanent?"

Shannon blinked at him. "Permanent?"

"Shannon Xuân Tran, will you marry me?"

She grinned and made a squeaking sound. "Yes!"

"We'll go ring shopping. Something huge and garish so all the aunties don't look down on me for marrying you."

"Oh, who cares what the aunties think?" she scoffed, kissing him again. "What matters is what _I_ think, and I think you're everything I ever wanted."

"Even if they disapprove?"

"Even if you can't even afford a diamond chip, I don't care."

"Well, lucky for you, I've got some savings."

"And lucky for you, I don't want anything hideously huge."

Henry laughed and pulled her down so he could roll over on top of her. "We really are a perfect match, then."

"Disgustingly so," Shannon agreed with a laugh. "Let's wait on the rest of the unpacking and go out to dinner to celebrate."

Ducking his head down to kiss her, Henry laughed. "Sounds like a perfect plan."

***

Loki was dressed in black slacks and dress shoes, a forest green button down shirt with the topmost button undone. He didn't have a tie and his hair was combed back neatly, but not slicked back or oiled down. That let the natural waves show, and he had simply tucked them back behind his ears. He sat in the new office that he and Shannon would be using to discuss his consultation work, a uniformed SHIELD agent with a sidearm standing behind him with a dour expression. He was already tall and imposing looking, with brown skin and hair.

Shannon took in Shannon's cheerful expression and the ring on her left hand and nodded graciously. "Congratulations, Dr. Tran."

She beamed at him and sat down, portfolio folder matching the black slacks she wore. Her shirt was a deep turquoise, and she had a matching necklace and earring set. "Thank you, Loki. I guess we both decided on black and jewel tones today?"

"The agents seem to think I only wear black and green."

"Silly of them," Shannon remarked mildly. "There had been white and gold, too."

He frowned at her. "Well, what's our agenda today?"

"Unfortunately, no active case yet needing your expertise, so we're filling out paperwork."

"Which no one enjoys doing, it seems."

"A necessary evil," she agreed, then started to open the first sheaf of documents. "We've held off on this, but we're going to have to do something about a last name."

Loki flashed her a pained look before closing off his expression for the benefit of the SHIELD agent. "I suppose leaving it blank is unacceptable on this world."

"Thor said he'd abide by naming conventions, and he actually registered as a consultant under the name Thor Odinson," Shannon told him quietly. "He told me that usually a patronymic is used if someone has to differentiate names, but if truly troubled by it, we could use a matronymic."

His jaw tightened a fraction. "She did not birth me."

"She raised you from infancy as if she did," Shannon remarked. "Is a blood bond the only thing that makes family?"

Loki's frozen expression didn't change. "I thought today wasn't a session day."

"That it isn't. But paperwork is evil and full of issues."

The SHIELD agent failed to keep a straight face at that remark, but Loki didn't appreciate the humor of the moment. "This world could've used my guidance."

"We have seven billion people and hundreds of cultures on this world. It's more difficult to navigate than a monoculture of a few hundred thousand."

"Nearly a million," Loki corrected.

"Ah. But still a monoculture, so there are fewer hurdles."

The tension in his shoulders remained, and he tightened his lips in displeasure. "Must we do this now?" he asked, voice brittle.

"We have to start with a name. And then fill it out a thousand times on all the forms." At his look of dismay, Shannon nodded sympathetically. "They're in triplicate."

"This world is run on paperwork!"

"Not wrong there," Shannon agreed mildly, fiddling around with the pen in her hand.

"Why put up with this morass?!"

"It's a labyrinth but keeps us from falling into chaos."

"Nothing wrong with chaos," Loki replied mulishly.

"Maybe in small doses, but I like having order, too."

Loki pulled a face at her but didn't say anything for a long moment. "I don't condone what they did," he said finally.

"We're not asking you to."

"Are you changing your name when you marry, Dr. Tran?" he asked abruptly.

"No," she said honestly. "Even if a lot of professionals didn't already keep their names for professional purposes, it's also part of my culture. Changing last names with marriage just isn't done for Vietnamese."

Loki bit his lip, absorbing that. "Is it wrong to want to disavow both names and pick something else? Like Tran?"

She gave him a sad smile. "As flattering as that is, it just avoids the issue."

He scrubbed at his face with his hands. "I don't like this."

"I tried to give you as much time as possible."

"I know you did."

"So let's take the thought out of it," Shannon suggested. "Instead of pondering identity politics, we'll go on your gut instinct. You know who you are. So are you Loki Odinson?"

"Certainly not!"

"Loki Friggasson?"

His breath hitched, and he looked away with a pained expression, blinking rapidly. He couldn't answer in words, but Shannon nodded for him and began to fill out the paperwork silently and respectfully. "I still love her," he said finally, his voice raw and pained.

"I know. No one can hurt us quite like family can."

He nodded, doing the deep breathing exercises that she had taught him. "That seems to be a universal truth, it seems."

Shannon nodded and looked over at the supervising agent. "Agent Gray," she asked, "do you have a good relationship with your family?"

He was startled to be included, and blinked. "Uh..."

Loki looked at him curiously, taking in the startled brown eyes and how they darted in different directions. "You do not," he guessed.

"It's not that simple," Gray temporized.

"This isn't a session," Shannon said wryly, turning to the next page. "So whatever you say won't be analyzed to death."

Gray didn't relax his posture as he thought it over. "I was adopted, too," he said finally. "So, I guess I didn't know how to answer based on what you were talking about."

"Well, then, same question for you," Shannon said brightly, folding her arms and leaning in a bit against the desk. "When I ask about family, who comes to mind? First thing."

"Oh, Mom and Dad, definitely," he said easily. "My adopted ones," he clarified for Loki.

"Then why pause?" Loki frowned.

"Well, you kinda seemed to count only blood family, and I remember my birth mother a little." He shrugged and his shoulders loosened somewhat. "What I remember of her isn't good. I'm glad the state took me away from her. The Grays were awesome."

Shannon beamed at him. "I'm so happy for you," she said, clearly meaning it. "So you had a good relationship."

"Yeah. Didn't mean I wasn't a shit when I was a teenager," Gray continued, then winced. "I didn't mean to stay that."

Loki took another look at him, thoughtful. "How did you get past it, then?"

"I grew up," Gray shrugged. "They grounded me plenty, but were patient enough, I guess."

"You said you live over five thousand years?" Shannon asked Loki, filling in the birthdate they'd previously calculated. At his nod, she grinned. "So right now you're essentially a teenager being grounded, too."

He scowled at her chuckle and Gray's sputter, but only leaned back in his seat to cross his arms over his chest. "That's not funny," he said sullenly.

"Okay, maybe a little," Gray said, shaking his head. "I never thought of it that way. Then again, even my most epic shit fits didn't have a body count."

"Power differential," Shannon commented, which he acknowledged with a nod.

"I don't enjoy the turn this conversation took," Loki told them, a slight imperious edge to his voice. Gray snapped back to attention, hand close to but not on top of his sidearm. "You're right," he added, turning back to Shannon, "paperwork is hell."

"And we're only starting in on the piles," Shannon reminded him. "That first part was just the statement page. I'm starting in on the rest of it now."

Loki groaned and threw up his hands. "This was a _terrible_ idea!"

"Huh. Who knew that conquering the planet could've been averted if you knew about bureaucracy?" Shannon joked.

He scowled at her. "I prefer therapy to this."

"Just think, Loki," Shannon continued with false cheer. "We're only on page one."

"I definitely like therapy better."

Gray didn't hide his laughter this time.

***

The knock on the door as Shannon was unpacking a box of books startled her, making her jump enough to tip over the stack she was trying to shelve.  _" Đụ má,_ she hissed as one of the thicker books landed right on her foot.

"That didn't sound very nice," Tony Stark announced in amusement behind her.

He was dressed in a stylish suit coat and pants, but instead of the button down shirt and tie that would complete an office ready look, he had a worn AC/DC T shirt. He was grinning at her, his hair spiky and the tinted glasses he wore doing nothing to hide the fact that he had deep and dark circles under his eyes.

Shannon sighed and left the books where they were. "It feels like I'm constantly dropping things when you show up unexpectedly."

"I did say that I would show up in person to make it easier for you."

She looked at her watch pointedly. "You're forty-five minutes early."

"Be sure to tell Pepper that," Tony said brightly. "Because I never make it to any of the Stark Industries meetings on time."

"And I have a feeling that it's very deliberate."

Tony flashed her a wide grin. "Maybe?"

Pointing toward the chair, she went to her desk and pulled over a fresh notepad and pen. "Well, you're here, and we already got the preliminary background done in New York before I moved. We can always start now."

"No computer?" he asked, surprised.

"I still like taking process notes on paper."

"Not very expedient. The goons at SHIELD should be able to set you up with a touch pad of some kind to make it easier to port over notes to a document—"

"I'm comfortable with the setup I have, thank you," she said politely, picking up her pen and gesturing toward the chair again with it. "Please, have a seat. Let's get started."

He seemed a bit put out for the moment, but did gracefully sit in the chair and heaved a dramatic sigh. "All right then, have at it."

"What's your main goal for therapy?"

Tony drummed his fingers on the desk in an erratic rhythm. "I would think that it'd be obvious. I nearly died and should've been dead several times over. I keep having nightmares. Sometimes I can't even breathe."

Shannon looked at him intently. "This means we're going to have to go through that trauma, Tony. Because you've never actually sat down and processed it, you've gone from one disaster to another. Everything that went you through over the winter was on top of everything else over the summer with your house blowing up, the Battle of New York..."

_"I know!"_ Tony shouted. He had gotten more and more tense as she had spoken, and he was still shaking. "I know," he said in a softer tone. "I know I have to do this. I don't like it, I don't want to do it, but I have to. _I have to._ I almost killed Pepper. Because of my stupid mistakes, she was kidnapped. I can't..." His voice broke and he looked away from her, his hands clenched into fists on her desk. "I can't lose her. I can lose the company, lose the tech, and I blew up my suits. I can do that. I can't lose _her,_ and I will if I keep spiraling out of control. I think I'm going to lose it if she leaves me."

"How likely is that?"

"I put her through too much. So much. And she's said I've overwhelmed her. That she can't take the stress. And I know I'm an asshole, I know she's too good for me. I can't help but be selfish, I don't want to lose her."

"Because you love her."

Tony was shaking a little, stripping his defenses bare. "Bruce trusts you. He said you're a genuinely kind person, and that you'll listen." He turned to her with a stark and needy expression. "I don't know how to make the nightmares stop. It was of space at first. Or Afghanistan. Or falling. Or Obie shooting at me. I can take those better, if that makes any sense—"

"It's only affecting you then."

"—but now I have nightmares of Pepper falling into the fires and I can't save her. There is no Extremis, just a drop into the fire, and she's out of reach and—"

He was hyperventilating as he was talking, and Shannon shot out of her seat to go around the desk and grasp his hands. "Here. Squeeze my hands. Breathe. We're going to go slowly, you match my breathing."

She coached him through measured and calm breaths long after the panic had faded from his eyes and his shoulders weren't as visibly tense. "You're okay," she said quietly. "That didn't actually happen. You're safe now, she's safe now."

"But it could've been worse."

"But it wasn't."

"But it could've been."

_"But it wasn't,"_ Shannon repeated. "Your thoughts are stuck. It's a record on a loop."

"Are you even old enough to know about records?" Tony quipped, still visibly shaken.

Shannon pursed her lips in a way that conveyed amused disapproval. "We need to start from the ground up. You weren't taught how to handle strong emotions in any other way than ignoring them, and now it's all coming at once. So we can't tackle this until you've done the groundwork to handle it when we unpack it."

Tony let out a slow breath and looked at her closely. Shannon was still in a slightly stooped posture, as she had been for the past fifteen minutes. "That can't be comfortable."

"You're deflecting."

"It's what I do best."

"And we need to undo that a little," Shannon told him calmly. "It means that we're going to have to start at the basics, even if it feels demeaning and dumb. The idea is that we're building a new foundation for you, and we need you to practice this _a lot_ before we try attacking these dreams." She straightened up. "I would think one of the heroes of New York can handle that."

Wincing, Tony shook his head and let go of her hands. "It's good publicity, especially all the shit that went down around Christmas, but Jesus Christ, please don't call me that."

Nodding, Shannon perched at the edge of her desk. "Pepper is one of your main supports." Tony nodded, staring at her. "Then it might be helpful to enlist her help."

"She's got enough on her plate—"

"And she can use the benefit of relaxation exercises."

Tony blinked, tilting his head to ponder that. "You mean, we lie and say it's for me, when it's really for her?"

"No. You need this. But so does she, and you can practice together. I have the feeling that enlisting her help means that it'll actually get done."

He let out a bark of startled laughter. "Oh, shit, no wonder Bruce thought you'd be good for me."

Shannon gave him a wry smile. "It's a tactic I use a lot."

"So I'm not actually special?"

"I didn't say that," Shannon said, smile broadening. "But we're going to try to instill new habits, and those are hard to do without some kind of reinforcement. So we get Pepper on board, you'll have to actually practice these techniques. And with as stressed as you say she is, she'll get just as much benefit out of it. And then you don't have to feel so guilty about her still associating with you and your demons."

"Oh, ow, that didn't pull any punches."

"Would you have appreciated it if I did?"

Tony actually thought it over. "No. I tried therapy before, of course. And they soft pedaled things because of the Stark name or money or whatever bullshit Howard pulled on them at the time. So that did absolutely nothing to actually help me."

"I can't promise we'll get through everything."

"You made it very clear that trauma work isn't your specialty," Tony remarked, nodding.

"It's also a question of how much work you're willing to put in, too. The relaxation exercises are the easy part. The hard part is going through everything that had happened. Looking at it accurately, seeing what actually happened and not just what you're afraid would happen. Or the bajillion what ifs that won't actually happen."

Tony snorted. "Oh, come on."

"It's harder than it sounds, especially if you're doing it right." Shannon tilted her head to the side and contemplated him. "I don't think you're the kind of man to half ass anything, so you'd really be putting in the effort to work on the problems you have."

"Ha. Appealing to my vanity. It's almost like you've gotten to know me."

She smirked. "You've already fooled me, Tony. I'm sure it'll happen again at some point. You probably won't even be able to help yourself. But let's not kid ourselves, yes? We both know who has the higher IQ in this room, and we both know it's not me. But our areas of expertise are in different things."

"You finished grad school, don't sell yourself short."

Shannon's expression was no longer amused. "It needs to be honest effort. If I assign homework, I do expect it's going to be done."

"Homework. I'm used to that. I breeze through it," Tony said, leaning back with a confident smile. "So you don't have to worry about this."

"Just everything else?"

"Hey, I'm here, aren't I? I'm willing to put in the work."

"Good, because I am, too. Just as you have your homework to do, I have mine to make sure I'm doing right by you. I want your honest effort, Tony. It's the only way it'll work."

"You keep saying that."

"Because it won't be overnight."

"I make like my success was, but it wasn't overnight."

"Not literally, but you're used to understanding things quickly. You're used to being in control of everything around you." His jaw tightened fractionally, but he didn't contradict her. "So all of this is new and scary and leaves you feeling helpless. We're going to be deliberately poking at those memories you have. Don't downplay how stressful that's going to be."

"I already relive it in my nightmares."

Shannon nodded. "So you know why I'm cautioning you so much, yeah? I want to make sure you're ready. Because what just happened here? That wasn't the point of today. That wasn't intended to happen. But because it did, I'm not sure if I wasn't clear, or if there's even more than the summary you gave me."

Tony leaned back in his chair, chewing on the inside of his cheek. "Maybe more," he said finally.

"So we start slow and we follow your lead. No timetable. No deadline. We push only as hard as your mind can take it. And you have to trust me on that point. I'm not going to push you harder than you can take, but I _will_ push you."

He took in a slow and steady breath, then let it out. "See? I can do this."

"You probably understand the physiology of it very well, even if you weren't a biologist," Shannon said, nodding. "But that needs to be second nature. It has to be like a reflex. That's why you practice, and why usually it isn't the only avenue you take in taking down the stress levels." She hopped off the edge of her desk and sat down in her chair again.

"Are we done then?" Tony asked, sounding a little hopeful.

"For today."

Tony all but shot to his feet and the false sparkle to his smile was back. "Excellent. Today was quite the session, and you even got me in early—"

Shannon tapped her pen onto the desk, and he eventually stopped talking. "Your homework for next week is to breathe. Focus on your breathing," she clarified as he opened his mouth to speak, likely to say something snarky. "That's it. Just focus on that. Count in for four, out for six. And I want you to actually count it, not just go with what your gut says was the time."

"I could get Jarvis to count it."

"No, Tony. _You._ You keep the count in your head, and you do the breath. You control your breathing, and focus on nothing else. As long as it feels comfortable, but I hope by next week you can do it for at least five to ten minutes."

"That's a long time to do nothing but breathe."

"Less time than we took today," Shannon pointed out, making him pause abruptly. "Just practice. I know it sounds dumb, but just practice. A little bit every day."

After a moment, Tony nodded. "A little bit every day," he repeated, then left the office before she could say anything else.

***  
***


	5. Soft Places

The first actual case that Loki's help was requested on involved a group of émigrés from Estonia that had settled into a small midwestern town. There was the question of staves in use, and people disappearing from the town soon after they had settled. The émigré population refused to speak with the local police about the designs, and no one in the town had actually seen any of them involved with the missing people. It was paranoia and discrimination, pure and simple, but the townspeople didn't care about that. They continued to blame the émigrés even after the local police refused to consider that something to investigate, and SHIELD was only contacted when the people started pointing out the staves painted on a number of homes.

Agent Miguel Gray was Loki's shadow when he was in the offices with Shannon Tran, but out in the field he was joined by Agents Dominick Tesoro and Nathalie Broussard. Loki had gotten a glimpse of the person behind Agent Gray's badge, but there was no such luck with Tesoro or Broussard. Tesoro was a tall and heavily muscled man, even more so than Gray. He had a darker skin tone than Gray did, but startlingly light blue eyes and closely cropped hair that was black and tightly curled. Broussard was tanned, with emerald green eyes and dark brown hair swept back into a ponytail. She was a bit shorter than Gray was, putting her a good foot shorter than Loki. He vaguely wondered if her presence was an insult, but remembered that the petite Natasha Romanoff had been quite a foe in her own right.

Three armed agents and Loki with his magic hindered by the golden cuffs Frigga had laid on him. It should have been offensive, really, but perhaps this was more a measure of trust. Shannon had insisted on it when they met briefly before he flew out of California. "Be nice," she'd admonished in a tone that almost reminded him of Frigga. "You're there because they don't know magic and you do. If there's any kind of magic involved here, they'll need your help, not some kind of snarky statement."

"I would never," he'd said, pretending to be affronted.

She'd pointed at him and given him a stern look, even though he towered above her when he stood up while she remained seated. "Don't sass me, don't sass them." She lowered her voice and softened the harsh stance. "We gotta trust each other, right? Take the first step."

Gray didn't seem so bad, if only because Loki was familiar with the man. He stayed out of the way and didn't interrupt anything Shannon had to say, and only sat outside her office door during therapy sessions. He didn't try to interrupt, and clearly was there more for her protection and to gauge if Loki was truly trying to cooperate with SHIELD or not.

Tesoro and Broussard didn't know him, and he didn't know them. The two clearly worked together in the field a lot, as they moved seamlessly together. Gray was the odd one out in that trio, and was likely there because SHIELD teams usually were in pairs. Perhaps, Loki mused, he should be less insulted by all of this and flattered. He was truly being treated as an Agent by the organization, whatever misgivings the higher ups still had.

It was a small town that had its two churches, five bars, supper club, gas station and endless acres of farmland. Some of it was used for cattle and the dairy farms, some of it was corn or wheat. The distance from this particular town to another seemed ridiculous, and Loki kept himself from making any disparaging remarks about the way people chose to live. Wouldn't Shannon be so proud of him?

Houses were small one story affairs spread out between farms as they approached the actual town. Within town limits, the houses clustered closer together along the main streets of the town. There were perhaps six thousand people at most, and the émigré population was living in the outskirts of town on the south side, the "bad" part of town. The only thing really differentiating it as the undesirable part of town was the peeling paint, dilapidated fences, crumbling stone in the foundations, smaller yards and the presence of a trailer park. Several of those houses sported the painted staves on the side of the house, and there were a few missing window panes, evidence of locals throwing rocks through them.

Gray and Loki let Tesoro and Broussard take the lead in speaking with police and going through the interviews that they had regarding the disappearances. Loki's presence had to do with magic, after all, so he went to the houses with the staves. Each one was painstakingly done, spaced precisely and accurately. "They're protection," Loki said, examining the runes. "Similar to the style we would see in your Norse cultures."

"Protection from what?" Gray asked, frowning.

Loki smiled thinly at him. "Let's go find out."

He strode forward purposefully to the first home and knocked imperiously on the door. The curtain twitched to the side, but no one moved to answer the door. "I am not with local police," he announced, loud enough to ensure his voice would carry through the front door. "I am interested in discussing the need for painting a version of Mjolnir and dragons. What are you protecting yourself from?"

Footsteps approached the door, and it opened as far as the internal chain would allow. A young man as pale as Broussard would have been without sunlight, with white blond hair and ice blue eyes answered the door. "What do you know of those?"

"I know what they do, and I know I could snap that chain with my fingers if I so chose. I know there were disappearances in this town and that locals blame you. I want to know what you're protecting yourself from."

"The soft places."

"Soft places," Loki repeated with a frown.

"The world isn't solid and whole in some places here. Things disappear. We only seek to save ourselves from it. We had nothing to do with those people going missing."

"I believe you," Loki said firmly, meaning it. "So let me in and tell me of these soft places. I haven't heard of such things around here."

The man looked from Loki to Gray standing behind him on the lower step leading to the narrow porch. "He is?"

"We're with SHIELD," Loki said, as much as it pained him to admit it. "There are a few of us investigating the disappearances, and we're looking for the truth, whatever it is."

While the man seemed somewhat doubtful, he finally nodded once sharply and closed the door enough to slide the chain off. The living room was dimly lit because the shades ere drawn. It was otherwise clean and sparsely furnished, and there were a few other people that seemed to scurry out of sight. Loki and Gray ignored that, and sat down on the threadbare couch that the man had indicated. They weren't involved in this conversation at all.

"What are these soft spots, then?"

"I don't know what they're really called, but I saw that in a book, and it seemed appropriate," the man explained, lips twisting in uncertainty. "It's... The air feels wrong somehow. I felt one of the spots when I was walking around, trying to learn the neighborhood. I don't know how to explain, it didn't feel like the rest of the neighborhood. I crossed the street to avoid it, and it looked like the air was shimmering. Like when it's hot outside and you're driving." Gray nodded at him encouragingly, but Loki looked at him blankly.

"Did it do anything?"

"I didn't stop to check."

Loki frowned. "Where is it? Can you take us to that spot?"

"I'd rather not," the man replied. "It's still there, near the park. I told my family about that spot, we told the others that would listen to that kind of thing."

"And that's why you have the protection runes," Gray murmured. "You don't want the spot to do anything to you."

"We're saving money to leave. My cousin said it was going to be safe here, but it feels like the very air was going to devour me whole. I can't explain it, that's all I know. I avoid that side of the street at all times, and if you're smart, you will, too."

Gray and Loki exchanged a look before Loki rose to his feet. "I've certainly been accused of brilliance, but this isn't going to be one of those times," Loki sighed. "I have to find that spot and see what it actually is."

The directions were actually very clear and succinct. It was at the corner of one of the local parks, assuming the nearby school yards would count as parks for children to play in. One of the missing people had last been seen walking down the street to visit his girlfriend, but hadn't made it to her house at all. Loki didn't think he would find anything there, but the hair on his arms and at the back of his neck stood up as he approached the spot in question.

Seeing his frown and abrupt stop, Gray shot him a curious look. "What is it?"

"There's an energy here," Loki murmured, squinting at it slightly. He lifted his hands and murmured an incantation, which made the golden cuffs flare bright. Crying out in pain, he fell to his knees, hands still outstretched in front of him. Cursing in Allspeak, he looked up at Gray's astonished expression in bitterness. "Identification spells are beyond what I'm allowed," he bit out, voice raw.

"The fuck was that?!" Gray sputtered.

"You were told my magic is limited?" Gray nodded, wide eyed. Loki let his gaze drop to the golden cuffs, so innocently decorative. "This is how."

"It _hurt_ you?"

"How else to discourage my use of magic?" Loki sneered, though his heart wasn't in it.

"That's fucked up."

"Quite," Loki agreed faintly. "So that form of magic is still not allowed."

Gray extended a hand and rolled his eyes in an exasperated way when Loki eyed it with suspicion. "C'mon, it's just to help you up."

Loki swallowed and grasped Gray's hand, swaying a bit when he was pulled to his feet. "So I cannot identify the kind of energy this is with magic." He shot Gray a sour look and stepped to the side, gradually walking around the edge of what he could see. "It is above the ground about a foot, extending upward for four feet, and would be wide enough for a human to climb through it if this is a portal."

"Huh." Gray stooped down and ripped up a bit of grass nearby and then threw it at the space that Loki indicated with his gestures.

The grass disappeared mid-arc.

"Uh..." Gray looked around and then stared at Loki with wide eyes. "Where'd it go?"

Thinking for a moment, Loki stared at the space. "What tracking devices do you have with you?"

***

Shannon was a little startled to see Gray in the cafeteria out of uniform. She skipped over part of the lunch line to make sure, and it was indeed Agent Gray. "Oh. I thought today was your day off?" she asked, head tilted to the side a little.

"It is," he said easily, smiling at her. He had his badge clipped on his shirt, cloth pulled out for it. The shirt was a plain red one that brought out the bronze highlight in his skin, and he had worn jeans and boots. "Lemme guess. Weird to see me out of uniform?"

She laughed easily. "Very. Kind of like when you see your teachers outside of school and suddenly realize they don't actually live in the storage closet." Gray laughed along with her. "So why come in on your day off? The food's good, but I didn't think it was _that_ good."

"Nah, it's not. I'm meeting my boyfriend for lunch." He nodded at the man already ahead in line and paying. "He forgot his wallet."

"In that case, he was lucky you had the day off to bring it to him."

At the innocuous statement, Gray's shoulders relaxed a little and he smiled. "Yeah. Totally fits the absentminded professor stereotype to a T."

Grinning, she grabbed a preplated salad when it was her turn on line. "They had to come from somewhere, I guess."

"Yep. Hang on." Gray rushed through the line to meet up with his boyfriend, who Shannon could now recognize from HR. She waved and grinned at him, and he waved back.

The three sat together for lunch and made small talk. The two had been dating for five and a half years, living together for three. Both were relieved when Shannon didn't make a big deal of their relationship, which prompted her to tell them about her former roommate Gina, who'd pouted when Shannon left New York. "But not too hard, because I got a moving stipend and gave her part of it to cover three months of rent, which we had left on the lease. And I think she was planning on asking her girlfriend Melody to move in. It's kinda quick, in my opinion, they've only dated a few weeks, but Gina's over the moon for her."

"You can't tell me two years is fast ever again!" Gray told his boyfriend with a laugh. Daniel sputtered a bit, then pushed his glasses higher in an effort to regain some of his dignity.

"I work in _Human Resources,_ Miguel!" he sniffed. "Of course I'm going to want to be careful and make sure everything's lined up."

"That's such a stereotype!" Gray laughed.

Shannon was laughing along with them and taking a bite out of her salad when she saw something _shift_ out of the corner of her eye. She turned her head, but it was gone.

"Everything okay?" Daniel asked in concern. When she didn't answer right away, he frowned. "Or are you sorry to be seen with us?"

"Dan!" Gray hissed under his breath. "Not everyone is your Dad!"

"But—"

"You don't see it," Shannon murmured, still craning her neck. "I thought I saw—"

Shouts erupted to the right of the spot she had been looking at. Twisting entirely around, Shannon could see why.

Half of a table, three chairs and an agent were missing.

"It just disappeared!" the others at the table were shouting.

Gray gaped at Shannon. "How did you know?"

"I can see magic." At their incredulous stares, she pulled a face and shrugged. "Long story."

"Huh," Gray murmured. "No wonder you work with Loki."

"Actually, I can because I was working with him. It's a weird kind of double vision, and things shifted in a weirder kind of way just before it happened."

"What does it look like now?"

Shannon turned around again and squinted past the panicked people. "Like a scar."

"Then I think I have an idea for the case I'm working on," Gray said quietly.

***

Loki frowned at the empty cafeteria. "This is unnecessary."

"Well, we don't know if this will mess with your concentration," Gray shrugged. "Better safe than sorry."

"It's _under magic,_ it's hardly the same level of danger," Loki scoffed. He crossed his arms over his chest and frowned. "Think of it like baby magic."

Shannon poked him in the arm. "I thought you were developing a new appreciation for it."

"That doesn't mean I don't miss my usual magic," Loki grumped, giving her a sour look.

"Would absolutely save on plane fare," Gray said.

Loki nodded in his direction appreciatively. "See?"

Shaking her head in amusement, she pointed toward the scar in the area of the missing table. "It's right there," she said, sketching out the size of the misshapen air. "Like the size of a door."

Gray and Loki exchanged a look at that, and it didn't seem to be a happy one. "That one we looked at, the transmitter didn't keep sending a signal. Sticks go in and out fine if you don't let go," Gray murmured, "but nothing going through comes back out."

"So where does it lead?" Shannon asked them, frowning. "It can't be on Earth, right?"

Both stared at her. "What?" Gray asked, startled.

"Well, SHIELD has satellites everywhere, and I'm pretty sure the agent that disappeared at lunch would've had his cell phone with him, right? So if our transmitters can't find a signal, and the agent couldn't call and say where he went, it's probably not on Earth, right?"

"You're assuming it's a portal of some kind," Loki murmured.

"Well, you got here with one. Why shouldn't others send people out?"

The three fell silent. "I don't know what these are, exactly. It's not a crafted portal," Loki said finally. He actually held his hand out and touched the scar that Shannon could see, and it felt solid even though chairs earlier that day had gone through it easily. "This is..." He pressed his lips together to think about how best to phrase it. "It's like reality isn't working properly."

"How does reality not work properly?" Gray asked, shooting him an incredulous look. "I mean, I get it, magic, whatever. But reality is reality."

"Not if you can change it."

"Uh... That would be serious magic, though," Shannon said, staring at him. "Which you can't do right now."

He glowered at her. "Yes, thank you for reminding me."

"Well, can you use the under magic to try to figure this out?" Shannon looked around the empty cafeteria. "I mean, they said you went to Chinatown to get random things to try to find me when I went missing, there's got to be stuff in here that you can use."

Loki pressed his lips together and looked at the two hopeful faces staring at him. "This is the _spá,_ if it's anything that I have experienced before, but it isn't entirely that, either."

"In what way?"

Taking a deep breath as he tried to push away his frustration, Loki let it out slowly. "The _spá_ is fate, and magic affecting this can change the nature of things, but it does not completely corrupt it. This is corruption, and something besides simply the _spá,"_ Loki said, gesticulating toward the scar. His fingers touched it as if there was glass in the way, but when his wrist cuff touched the scarred air, sparks flew.

The trio looked to one another in surprise. "Antimagic and that don't mix," Shannon said rather unnecessarily, pointing at the area the sparks had come from. "So what is it?"

Thinking it over, Loki looked at Gray. "We have our own soft place here, but this one has not remained open for some reason." He touched the air again, feeling it remain solid. Gray even stepped forward to try to touch the space, clearly expecting his hand to pass through it. Instead he wound up slapping the solidified air with far more force than he would have used.

"So the under magic won't have anything on this?" Shannon asked, dejected.

Loki looked at the cuffs on his wrist and then up at Shannon. "Call the Allmother," he said quietly, then looked to Gray. "We will search the kitchens and see what I can use."

All that they could gather was unprepared ingredients for food, spices and copious amounts of salt. The salt was used to sketch a circle around the solidified air, and Loki periodically added one of the herbs to the salt. He sketched runes around the outer edge of the circle, then a separate line of runes along the inside of the circle, going in the opposite direction. The runes were only in salt, then he made another circle within that using herbed butter that Gray had helped him to make in the kitchen. Loki wiped off his hands the best that he could with a few paper towels, and frowned at the lighter that they had found.

"What?" Gray asked, seeing his expression.

"What would that be made of?"

"Uh... You flick it and it'll make fire?" Gray shrugged. "I guess there's some sort of lighter fluid in it, if that's what you meant."

With an aggrieved expression, Loki took up the lighter and tried to spark it the best that he could. His fingers slipped a few times, still greased from the butter, but when it caught, he brought the lighter carefully over to the butter.

It lit unnaturally fast, making Gray startle and nearly skitter back. The smoke was too thick, and smelled sweet and cloying. It wafted up, then seemed to stick to the surface of the scarred air, showing its smooth surface on the side that Loki had been hitting, and a ragged surface on its reverse. It looked more like a craggy mountain range, with very narrow fjords intermittently cutting through its surface like cracks.

"Oh no," Loki murmured, shaking his head in shocked horror.

"What is it?"

"Dr. Tran wasn't too far off the mark. That doesn't seem like Earth in the slightest." A shiver wracked his frame. "In fact, that looks more like Jotunheim in miniature."

"That's a bad thing, isn't it?" Gray asked, voice warbling.

Loki nodded. "Your colleague is likely dead. They'd've been dressed for indoors, and that is a frozen wasteland. They would've frozen to death within minutes, maybe hours if they found a cave to hide from the winds. The dimensions are off, but..."

"Jesus," Gray breathed, shaking his head in disbelief. "Why the hell would there be a portal to a frozen wasteland? Who'd want to go there?"

"I don't think this was entirely voluntary."

"Obviously!" Gray snapped. "It's not like any of us know magic."

"But it exists on this world. It's the under magic of my world, but it's better than what your people are generally capable of." Loki stared at the swirling smoke that was sticking to the scarred air. "It isn't working the same on this side as it is on the other."

"Is it supposed to?"

"Yes."

"So that's why it's hard to tell what it is?" Gray asked, brows furrowed. "It's not acting like magic you're used to, even if it's the baby magic?"

"Exactly."

Shannon soon rushed back into the cafeteria. She was flustered, and stopped short when she saw and smelled the smoke. "O-kay then," she muttered, shaking her head. "She's sending Thor," she told them without preamble, ignoring Loki's glower. "Things like this have been happening on all the other realms of Egg-dray—"

"Yggdrasil," Loki corrected sharply.

She nodded and pointed at him. "That. Yes. The weird air scar thingy is on Asgard and Svartalfheim as far as she's aware of, possibly others. They seem to link to other spots on each realm, but some seem to link other realms. It's all randomly generated, no one casting."

"And Thor's purpose?" Loki asked, eyes flashing at her. "He doesn't cast, doesn't understand the nature of such events."

"These two that I know of aren't even the worst of it. There are spots in London that are getting her attention, and a few more in other countries I can't even pronounce." Shannon shrugged at them helplessly. "I don't know, she just said they're getting worse."

"Worse?" Gray asked incredulously. "How can this possibly get even worse?"

"More often, larger, and stranger connections between the realms, she said."

"But if Thor can't do the magic thing," Gray said, shaking his head in disbelief, "then why even send him here? What's the point?"

"She doesn't think she'd be welcome here right now," Shannon admitted.

Loki flinched. "So she sends Thor." His voice was expressionless and flat, and his eyes swung away from Shannon and toward the smoky haze above the spot he and Gray were sitting in. "I don't think there is worse insult."

"Don't say that," Gray chided gently. "I'm sure if she wanted to, she'd come up with something way worse than a big brother checking up on you."

He curled his lips at Gray in distaste. "You know nothing of—"

"I'm the youngest, and I don't think Asgardians have too much difference from humans when it comes to family dynamics. I don't know the details, but Thor's the famous one, so I think I can guess how it's gonna go. It's a pain in the ass no matter what realm you're from, right?"

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Loki shut his eyes and sighed. "I suppose it is."

"Then I guess we need to clean up this mess and prepare for a royal visit," Gray sighed.

Loki clearly wasn't looking forward to it.

***  
***


	6. Harsh Truths

"How's Harley doing?" Shannon asked when Tony trailed off while talking about his mentoring programs in various major cities around the country.

"Good." Tony appeared startled for a moment, then flashed her an easy smile. "I got an e-mail recently. Passing all his classes and everything."

"Have you gone out to visit?"

"Oh." Tony shrugged and shifted in his chair uncomfortably. "I don't think he'd like that much. School's almost out, he'll be on summer vacation, he'll have things to do."

"He still writes to you, and by all accounts was able to help you when you were in Tennessee, right?" Tony reluctantly nodded. "So why wouldn't he like to see you again?"

"It was a tense time. And if a kid can realize a grown ass adult has anxiety and issues with New York, well, he can do better than me."

"Why is it that adults always seem to think kids are stupid? They're exposed to more and more now than we were young," Shannon began, ignoring Tony's sidelong look, "and there usually isn't much that escapes their notice. They might not have context for it, but that doesn't mean that they don't see it. He's a good kid, noticed when you were in distress."

"Caused it by trying to bring up wormholes."

Shannon crossed her arms over her chest. "Are you insisting on being difficult?"

"Can I say yes? I really wanna say yes."

"How many panic attacks have you had since our last session?"

Tony winced. "Oh. Those. Not too many. It's gotten better."

"How many?"

He made a big show of counting on his fingers, but then finally threw up his hands. "Okay, I didn't do my homework. For once in my life. Can you blame me? That's the kind of homework that sucks and reminds me how broken my brain is!"

"It's more than twenty," Shannon said in a gentler tone, uncrossing her arms and tilting her head to the side. At his freeze, she smiled grimly. "That's when you stopped counting on your fingers. I was counting with you. So more than twenty in the past week."

"See? Broken."

"Not broken," Shannon corrected. "Recalibrating."

Pulling a face at her, Tony shook his head. "Don't do the mechanical analogies."

"Our bodies are electrochemical cells. We're basically biological computers. Why not use that kind of language if that's what's happening?" she asked, tilting her head the other way. "When my computer freezes, I have to restart. What do you think your brain is doing?"

"Fucking up."

"A panic attack happens when your usual ability to cope is overrun. That's not fucking up, that's your body telling you that you're overwhelmed. You work with mechanical things and robots all day. Would you expect it to keep going on an empty battery?"

"I've lived through worse—"

_"Thằng ngu,"_ Shannon muttered, rolling her eyes. "This isn't the pain Olympics, Tony. All that you get for going on and on and on with traumatic things are a basketful more triggers and opportunities to get overwhelmed. You don't get a prize for going through the most awful thing you can imagine. Or live through torture that has killed other people. All you get are even more opportunities to get panic attacks or nightmares. Or dissociate. Or any number of those wonderfully awful things that happen when our coping mechanisms backfire."

Tony rubbed at his jaw. "I've lived through worse. This last thing, that wasn't bad."

"You're right," Shannon said in a flat voice. "It was worse."

He stared at her in surprise as she continued. "You're used to being the target. You all but painted it on yourself with your statements on TV. That you're used to, you don't even think about anymore. But it's not just you anymore, and that's what makes it terrible. Those people you were up against, they would've killed Harley. They didn't care when Pepper seemed dead." Tony flinched and looked away from her, jaw clenched tight.

"If it's just you, you can say that it doesn't matter. If it's just you, it can be hidden more easily. Not an easy job, but you can pretend it's alcohol or drugs or whatever. But they didn't sign up for that. Harley's just a kid that happened to be the one that found you and helped you out. Pepper signed on to be your assistant, not a target."

Shifting in his seat uncomfortably, Tony crossed and uncrossed his legs, then shifted again. He was still facing away from her, but now in the opposite direction.

"This is what we need to talk about, Tony. This not-talking thing," she said, sketching a circle in front of his body between them, "is not helping you. This is not a coping skill that is making the panic attacks go away. It's not making the nightmares go away."

"I almost killed her again," Tony blurted. He still couldn't look at Shannon. "Last night. Fuck me sideways, I almost killed her again. Why doesn't she leave me? For her own goddamn safety, for her own _sanity,_ why doesn't she leave me?"

"Because she loves you. And you're worth the risk to her."

"I shouldn't be."

"But you are."

Tony clenched his teeth and shifted in his seat again as she remained silent. He picked up a hand, elbow on the arm of his chair, swinging his fist as his lips twisted as if he was tasting something sour. "Unless it's a weapon, everything I touch goes up in flames. That seems to be the best that I can do, no matter how hard I try."

"Are all tools weapons?"

He shot her an irritated look. "Of course not."

"So why are your tools always going to be weapon? Why is everything you make a disaster?"

"Because it's _me."_

"I don't follow."

Another irritated look, this time with a huff. "Because of who I am. I'm Tony fucking Stark, and everything is under the shadow of that Stark name. I made weapons. They were sold off to terrorists under my name, and those same weapons almost killed me." His jaw was tight as he bit off the words, leaning forward without touching the desk, the arms of the chair in a tight grip. "I created those bombs, I made them even more destructive than they already were. _I_ was the arms dealer. Me. Even with Iron Patriot, it's a suit of armor with bombs on it!"

"They did their job—"

"By killing people!"

"—and you're in a privileged position that you can change your mind and do something different with your life," Shannon continued. "But you can't see that."

"I've already made very visible mistakes."

"And you are very visibly correcting them. Why isn't that enough?"

Tony made a scoffing sound. "I just told you. I'm Tony Stark. Nothing is ever enough."

"Why?" she asked with a frown. "I don't understand."

His irritation slid directly into scorn at this point, but Shannon didn't change expression. "It's never good enough. Whatever good I've done is undone." His lips twisted into a sneer. "Because I wasn't good enough for my old man to give a shit about anything I did if it wasn't a science project he could use. I couldn't see that Obie _loathed_ me and wanted me dead. I couldn't see the obvious gag that was the Mandarin until it was too late."

"How were you supposed to know all that?"

"I'm smart enough to learn nuclear thermodynamics _overnight._ I'm smart enough to bypass the pathetic school system and go to MIT. I'm called one of the most brilliant men alive, if not _the_ most brilliant, and _I didn't see it."_

"Breathe," Shannon said sharply, cutting him off. As Tony was talking, his facial expression had taken on an uncomfortable intensity, his entire body had tightened, and his voice was rising in volume. He stared at her incredulously, and she kept the same expression. "You've been doing your homework some of the time, right? _Breathe."_

The next few minutes were spent on his breathing, easing the tension out of him slowly. "You ignored the physical cues and allowed me to get you upset," Shannon told him.

"That's your job, right?" he asked, a thread of resentment in his tone.

"The panic attacks come when you think you have to control everything. When you don't ask for help, when you ignore anything that might remind you that you're actually human."

Tony clenched his jaw. "I know I'm human. That's the problem."

"No, it isn't. The panic comes because you rely on your tech and your machinery, and you ignore the human limitations of the body."

"I know I'm a mechanic. I build things. When everything goes to shit, I build things."

"Yes. You're more than your armor. You did tell me that."

"And apparently I didn't learn a damn thing."

"Because you think you have to do it all yourself."

"Who else is going to step up to the plate with me?"

"Who else would you trust to do it?"

He made a dismissive sound. "Pepper. Rhodey. I guess the Avengers. Kind of the point of the team, right?"

"Then why not ask them to help you?"

"What?"

"Why didn't you ask them to help you when the Mandarin seemed to target you?"

Tony was still for about half a second before he started waving his hand around in a dismissive motion. "It wasn't that big a deal—"

_"Your house blew up!"_

"I have others."

Shannon gaped at him. "This..." She sketched a circle in the air over Tony's body. "This is just... The disconnect is just utterly amazing, and not in a good way."

"Huh. Maybe you were right when you said I should find someone else."

She lifted an eyebrow at him. "And you insisted. Now that you have what you wanted, you don't want it anymore."

"I don't think I like this conversation."

With a quirk at the corner of her mouth, Shannon leaned forward. "So we're on to something with this. You wouldn't push back so hard if this wasn't actually important."

"This is why psychology is such a bullshit—"

"You have to be in control," Shannon said quietly. "Because if you're in control, then nothing else can hurt you. Every time you've been hurt, it was beyond your control. You couldn't feel safe, there was no way to even begin to feel safe, and all you had was the mask of control. Iron Man isn't your armor. Your reputation is, and you've done so much to maintain it that there isn't much left to keep it afloat."

Tony stared at her, then abruptly got up and left the room.

***

Shannon steeled herself before pasting a smile on her face and pushing open the conference room door. Thor was already seated at the table, facing an awed Agent Gray and sullen Loki. He was in the armor that had been made famous on the news the year before, and Loki was dressed in head to toe black. She resisted the urge to smack him upside the head, but instead simply sat down next to Thor across from Loki. Folding her hands onto the table top, she looked between all of the people in the room. "I'm here mostly to make sure it doesn't all fall apart into a nasty argument or an outright fistfight."

Thor actually looked affronted. "I would never. I was quite pleased to receive the request to discuss such knowledge that our realm can offer."

Loki rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. "As you are quite the foremost expert in shifting realities, of course."

Clucking her tongue against the roof of her mouth in their prearranged signal to _shut the fuck up already, Loki,_ Shannon turned to Agent Gray. "Why don't you explain to Thor exactly what the nature of the case is? I don't really know all the specifics that started it all."

The missing people in the Midwest were discussed, and Thor nodded thoughtfully in all of the right places, frowning a little at the missing grass that Gray had thrown. Gray deferred to Shannon for noticing the spot in the cafeteria, which startled Thor, and they both deferred to Loki in his exploration of the location afterward.

"I am not the magic user, and the use of under magic versus what you would normally do is beyond what I've ever studied," Thor said in grave tones, mimicking Shannon's posture of folding arms onto the table. He ignored Loki's eye roll and snort. "I am aware of other such events that you describe happening on other realms as well."

They all sat up and took notice. "Other realms?"

"Yes. Part of a field was razed when a portion of the sky appeared to rain fire from Muspelheim, and it did so for about six hours," Thor explained. "Alfheim was also affected by ice spears taking the place of a mountain, and I know that an envoy from Jotunheim mentioned that their landscape was altered."

"You have an idea of what it is, don't you?" Gray asked. "You wouldn't be here otherwise."

"My mother has been researching the Convergence for the past several months," Thor admitted, flicking a glance at Loki.

"I told you, it's nothing to do with me."

"Yes, she's aware," Thor replied patiently. "Apparently, it's a phenomena that naturally happens when all of the branches of Yggdrasil align. Strange occurrences happen when it does, increasing in frequency until the Convergence actually takes place."

"What happens when it does?"

"She believes it's part of what flipped the gravity alignment on this planet."

"What? It did what?" Gray asked, frowning in confusion and looking at the others.

Shannon leaned back in her chair with a thoughtful expression. "I remember reading something about that when I was younger." At Gray's incredulous stare, Shannon shrugged. "I went through an astronomy phase in school before I went into psychology."

"There is an additional problem that I was sent to Midgard for," Thor admitted in the awkward silence, a contrite expression on his face.

"Of course there was," Loki sneered. He ignored Shannon's tongue cluck.

Thor ignored Loki's comment. "There were a number of portals opening in other areas on this world," he began. "My..." He paused uncomfortably. "Jane Foster disappeared, and she has been affected by something she found while she was missing."

Loki put on a falsely concerned expression. "Your darling mortal?"

Pointing right at Loki's face, Shannon shot him a stern look. "Shut. It." When he glared at her, she glared right back and hissed _"Chó chết"_ at him.

Ignoring the byplay, Thor sighed. "I had come to Earth when there were odd occurrences and Heimdall couldn't find Jane. She carries some kind of power within her. It defended her from police that wanted to detain her in London, and it doesn't seem to want our healers to remove it from her body."

"How awful for her," Loki said with obvious insincerity.

"I believe our problems are one and the same," Thor said, ignoring him outright. Shannon thought about kicking Loki under the table, but settled for a glare. "I am... I know Father will not be pleased to find Jane in the palace, but—"

"You're _hiding_ her?" Loki blurted, looking at Thor in delighted surprise. "You're breaking the Allfather's mandate to keep the realms separate?"

"The Convergence is all but assuring that his decree isn't possible to maintain," Thor snapped, staring at him. "And I will not have Jane harmed by something we may be able to prevent."

"So it's probably safe to assume that the missing people we're investigating are dead," Gray said, voice flat, looking between the two Asgardians.

Thor appeared chastened for a moment. "It could be," he said finally. "If one of your comrades had fallen into a Jotunheim valley without armor or warmer clothes, then they would have frozen to death fairly quickly. Or if those other people had fallen from a height, or arrived on Muspelheim..." Thor shook his head. "Not all of the worlds of Yggdrasil can support life anymore, and they wouldn't have lasted long."

"Has any of our science division gotten a chance to examine Jane?" Shannon asked. "I don't imagine that your people would know a lot about human physiology."

"The Soul Forge showed the intricate details of her inner anatomy," Thor replied with a shake of his head. "The energies contained in her body were separate from bone or organ."

"Ah. Space age MRI, then," Gray muttered.

"From what you said before, it's a natural phenomena. The Convergence," Shannon clarified when Thor looked at her. "Loki doesn't have anything to do with it."

"No. But the last time there was a Convergence, enemies of Asgard tried to weaponize it and destroy all the nine realms. With this strange power that has gotten into Jane's body, I fear that might be the weapon they used."

"Meaning they'll come for her," Gray said, everything slotting into place for him quickly.

Thor nodded and turned to Loki. "I know this is not your doing, and is not your concern what happens to Jane. That is mine," he admitted, ducking his head slightly. "I fear that Mother may not know the things that you would have come across in your travels through the galaxy."

Loki shot him a sour look. "She was raised by witches. I doubt there is much she is unaware of."

Wincing a little at his tone, Thor blew out a breath. "I don't understand why you're so angry with me, why you insist that I was so terrible for you."

"Let's save that for a therapy session," Shannon suggested, cutting off Loki's inevitable reply. "It has nothing to do with what's happening now, right?"

He nodded at her gratefully. "Darcy, one of Jane's friends, was collecting Dr. Selvig. He is a colleague of Jane's, and they were tracking the energy readings across the planet. One such place is where Jane disappeared."

"So wait, they can track where these anomalies are happening?" Gray asked.

"Better than my vague sense of seeing them," Shannon said brightly. "You can track them down with Dr. Selvig's help and I can continue my work here."

Thor looked at her in concern. "You can _see_ these things?"

"It's a thing now, apparently." Shannon didn't know how to explain the exact mechanics of it, and pulled a face as she shrugged. 

"I think you should speak with Mother—"

"Oh, no, that's quite all right," Shannon demurred, shaking her head. "I've got a caseload that's filling up really quickly, and apparently being the Avengers' therapist as well is going to be a really stressful gig—"

"You're what?!" Gray cried, surprised. Loki only glowered at her, though he knew full well that she counseled other people as well.

"It's a thing?" Shannon replied, tone more questioning than confident, nose wrinkling as if she was having trouble wrapping her brain around the concept herself.

"Oh, no, that's a story," Gray insisted, leaning forward. "I mean, the _Avengers!"_

"Doctor patient privilege," Shannon said, sitting up straighter in her chair. That was a much easier minefield for her to navigate.

"I understand that," Thor said, expression earnest and voice grave. "But if you have some kind of sight about this, that puts you in danger."

Shannon blinked, mouth opening and closing for a moment, and then she looked at Loki with a helpless expression. "Not again," she squeaked finally.

Loki was staring at her just as intently as Thor was, but she could understand that expression better. "Use the concentration rune to center yourself."

She nodded as Gray looked between everyone else in the room. "Okay, there is a lot here that was never in the briefing," he said. "What do we need to know?"

Waving her hand in a dismissive gesture, Shannon shook her head. Her eyes were closed, picturing things in her mind and clearly working on her deep breathing exercises. The men in the room remained respectfully silent until her eyes opened. "Okay. Okay." She pasted an obviously false smile on her face. "I'm good."

Thor and Gray both had dubious expressions on their faces, but Loki merely nodded at her in acceptance, understanding in his eyes.

"Anyway," Shannon said, making another gesture. "You need to track these anomalies, figure out who's actually weaponizing it, and then smack 'em down."

"I still think that you should talk with the Queen regarding this," Thor said, patting her arm gently. "Because it may help you with this second sight."

"Loki's helped," Shannon murmured, patting his hand gently. "That's what the concentration rune is all about."

He smiled fondly at her, then practically grinned at Loki. "This is such good news."

"That I'm capable of kindness?" he asked in snide tones. "Your bar is set so low."

Clucking again, Shannon glared at Loki and pointed at him. "You. Stop. Now."

He glowered back at her, but fell silent. Thor looked at her in wonder. "Your skill would be much appreciated."

"Oh, no, no, no, no," Shannon said, shaking her head emphatically. "Bad enough I'm doing trauma work right now, I am _not_ doing family work. There's got to be someone else on SHIELD payroll that has that kind of training." She shook a finger in Loki's direction but the expression on her face was more playful than stern. "I already learned DBT for you, I don't have enough hours in the day for more."

The corner of Loki's mouth quirked up and he almost smiled. "My apologies for the terrible burden that Asgard has placed upon you."

Thor looked between the two of them and appeared pleased by the byplay. "Ah. Well. If it is a terrible burden upon your obviously capable shoulders, I will certainly desist and then speak with your superior officers about suitable agents to speak with. Separate from that, my concern about this second sight is genuine. I have heard tales of those who have it that have gone mad."

"Am I mad, then?" Loki asked, tension beneath his droll tone.

Gray looked over at Shannon, eyes a little wider. "I take it back, I don't want to be you."

"Told ya," she replied, then drummed her fingers on the desk. "As much as this obviously can go on for _days_ at a time, Agent Gray has a point. We need to focus on the actual particulars, because this is probably going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better, right?"

At Thor's solemn nod, the room felt silent. "Well," Agent Gray began, clearing his throat. "How are we going to protect Dr. Foster and get that strange energy out of her?" With pointed looks between Loki and Thor, he added _"Without_ creating an interplanetary incident."

"You just took all the fun out of it," Loki complained, crossing his arms over his chest again.

"Good," Shannon said sharply. "So let's get to work. And yes, we _are_ going to talk about this on Thursday, even if you have to come back down from Asgard to do it."

Loki pointedly ignored Thor's commiserating expression.

***  
***


	7. Defense Mechanisms

"Did you miss me?"

Shannon shot Tony Stark an unamused smile and pointedly looked at her watch. "You didn't cancel this appointment, and you decided to arrive twenty minutes late."

Giving her a brilliant smile, Tony spread his arms wide. "But I'm here."

"And you're being disrespectful of my time, your time, your mental health, and the concern you say you have for others." It was a gamble, to take this stern tactic, but the way he had rebelled so much against her earlier statements had made her think. What she knew of the authority figures in his life thus far was that they exerted that influence and then shattered any trust or love he would have had in them. All he would have had to offer was his intelligence and quick thinking, and even that appeared to fail him when he counted on it the most.

In other words, she would have to become the corrective experience for him, as much as she hated being stern. It brought back too many conversations with her own parents, but apparently she would have to address her own feelings on the matter.

The smile slid off of Tony's face and he took the seat across from Shannon in a rapid and fluid motion. This clearly mattered to him on some level. She would have to work with that.

"I guess we can't work together, huh?" Tony actually sounded disappointed.

Shannon continued with her serious expression. "I'm not giving up on you, Tony, and you shouldn't give up on yourself. This is hard work, and I know you're capable of doing hard work. This is different from what you've known before, though. There aren't really any tangible outcomes to look for other than fewer panic attacks. It's not like building something and seeing the final product in front of you."

Tony had gone very still when Shannon said she wouldn't give up on him, and seemed to listen closely as she spoke. She had no sense of him yet, and was still learning his reactions to her style as well as her own reactions to his. For a moment she thought of Loki's plaintive _Why haven't you given up on me yet?_

"You don't like disrespect," he said finally in a low tone. "I remember that."

"So is this deliberate? Is this testing boundaries?" He shrugged, but didn't take his eyes off of her face. "Are you trying to see how far you can go before you're asked to leave?"

A slight twitch in the corner of his eye, but he otherwise didn't move.

"It's a common tactic, especially early on in therapy to test the relationship. There has been a lot of disappointment in your life, and so very few relationships have been able to withstand all the pressures placed on them. It sounds like Pepper, Happy and Rhodey are the constants in your life, and it's hard to let others be added to that tight circle."

His lips pressed together for a moment. "You're asking for trust."

"I also ask for trust from you." At his incredulous look, Shannon shrugged. "I have to trust that you'll do the homework I assign. I have to trust that you're telling me the truth and not spinning me a web of lies to make yourself look good. I have to trust that you're willing to dive into the work with me."

Tony made a dismissive noise. "That's not trust."

"I'm not in therapy by myself," Shannon told him, a sharp note in her voice. "I'm not going to put more work into this relationship than you're willing to give in return."

Another twitch in his eyes. "Relationship," he scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"That's what this is. And addressing what's happening in this room, in this relationship, is just as important as what's going on outside of it. This is a mirror to what happens elsewhere. You have a pattern of interactions, Tony. My job is to decode that pattern and help you see it. And if there is a dysfunction in that pattern, we have to fix it." At his doubtful expression, she shrugged. "You fix machines, I fix people. Not in a dramatic way, but it's there."

"You fix people," he echoed, obvious disbelief in his voice. He was leaning back away from her, crossing his arms over his chest.

"It's a crude way to put it, but you're in that kind of mood."

He snorted. "You have no idea what kind of mood I'm in."

"You've cultivated quite the reputation," Shannon countered. "And from what I know of you, however incomplete that picture is, _that_ is the mask you hide behind. Not Iron Man, not when it was so easily disclosed, not when it's a source of pride and recognition in your own right. You're not Tony fucking Stark if you put on the suit," she said, steamrollering past the flinch of shock at her word choice. "You're taken on your own merit, because no one else made that suit, no one else is flying it. It's you and you alone, no legacy to live up to. Just you."

"And without it, I'm just me."

"Without it," she corrected, "you hide behind the other personas you've collected. The billionaire playboy philanthropist, I believe you called yourself."

"I also called myself a functional alcoholic," Tony chirped cheerfully.

"That might be facets of who you've been, but it's not all of you."

His false cheer slid right off his face. "You sound very certain of that."

"And you sound very uncertain."

"People see what they want to see."

"True. And I want to see more than the surface varnish you've painted on yourself."

"I'm not a painting," he protested.

"Would you rather I call you an onion?" Shannon asked sweetly. He scowled at her, shoulders curling in a bit, and she leaned forward in her chair, hands on the edge of her desk. "The point isn't in the analogies we use. Language is imperfect, and there are so many ways it's going to be misconstrued and misinterpreted and misunderstood."

"And you've said over and over you don't have experience."

"In trauma work. I'm a forensic psychologist. Meaning I can do assessments. I can speak with people and various other sources to build a profile. I still have training, but with a focus on courts and the legal system. I'm not a trauma therapist, and you're the one that insisted on coming to me. Partly because I've not run screaming in the other direction from the weirdness that comes your way, and partly because on some level you're not ready to address the trauma. And it probably freaks you out that I'm willing to put the work in to learn it to help you."

He clenched his jaw. "I don't back down from challenges."

"So why are you backing down from this one?"

"You don't understand this shit," Tony hissed, finally snapping. His arms unfolded and he leaned forward in Shannon's direction with an intense expression, hands gripping her desk as if he could snap the wood in two. "And you don't want to."

"I've _been through_ weird shit because of the Avengers and this job," Shannon hissed back, mirroring his body language. "And I'm still here."

His breathing was heavy, but not quite rapid enough to induce a panic attack. As much as her own heart was pounding in her chest, adrenaline spiking, Shannon forced her breathing to remain calm and focused. Instinctively, Tony's began to mirror hers.

"I'm still here," she said softly, once his breathing had slowed down. "And so are you. We're both here, we're both survivors. And we're going to have to process what happened and figure out a way to deal with it that doesn't involve panic attacks or running headlong in the opposite direction with your fingers in your ears going 'la, la, la.'"

Tony sucked in a breath. "For your information," he said, voice shaky, "I don't go 'la, la, la.' I play classic rock."

She smiled at him. "Then, aside from doing your breath work, bring in the lyrics of _one_ song that speaks to you."

He blinked at her. "What?"

"That's your homework assignment." She smiled a little brighter. "Our time is up for today. Thank you for working with me."

"That wasn't work!" he protested.

"We're confronting your defense mechanisms," Shannon said sweetly. "Hell yeah, that's work."

"That's not _real_ work."

She kept her smile on her face as she rose from her seat and opened her door. "So we'll confront those defenses further next time."

Pursing his lips, Tony nodded. "Fine. Your time to waste."

_And yours,_ Shannon thought as he left, _but it's not a waste at all._

***

Shannon felt an intense pressure in her inner ears, as if they were about to pop, and did the same nose blowing kind of motion she did to equalize ear pressure on a plane. That didn't help, and she winced in pain. "I'm sorry," she said to the agent in front of her as she touched her head and squeezed her eyes shut tight. "I'm going to have to reschedule this."

"You don't look so good," the agent said, a dubious note in his voice. When all she could do was groan in response, he grabbed her office phone and dialed security. His voice was a dull roar compared to the bright flare of stabbing pain in her temples, and she was only dimly aware of trying to dig her fingernails into her temples.

_Dig it out, you have to dig it out, stop this_ nhảm cứt, she thought desperately digging her fingers in deeper. The agent said something, she couldn't hear it or understand how the syllables strung together.

When she next was aware of her surroundings, she was in the facility infirmary on one of the beds. She was hooked up to all kinds of monitors, and the light in the room was dim. She was wearing a hospital gown and was lying under the thin white hospital blankets that never seemed to keep people warm enough. On the chair next to her was another folded blanket, but she couldn't seem to move her arms at all. She wasn't tied down in any way, but her limbs felt too heavy to move. At least the pain in her temples was little more than a dull ache.

She closed her eyes again, not having much else to look at. Apparently that was enough to let her fall asleep, because she jerked awake with a spike of absolute terror coursing through her. Heart pounding in her chest, as if it would break out of her ribs, and her eyes darted around the room searching for the source of her fear.

"What's going on?" she asked, her voice a squeak.

This time, she wasn't alone in the room. She didn't recognize the two agents in the room, a pair of rather excited looking agents taking notes at breakneck speed on a tablet. When she spoke, they looked up. They looked young, likely right out of the academy, and the woman seemed overjoyed to see her. "Oh, you're awake," she said, English accent warm and comforting. "I'm Agent Simmons, and this is Agent Fitz," she said, gesturing toward the man sitting beside her. "We've analyzed the energy readings that came from this location, and then when you had your migraine," she continued, "and it's very similar to the energy readings that have been coming out of London."

"Uh..." Shannon tried to move her limbs, but they still felt overly heavy and out of her control. "I can't sit up."

Fitz put down his tablet and jumped up to help her, and he didn't have any trouble maneuvering her body on the hospital bed. "There you are," he said, a Scottish burr to his voice.

"I feel weird."

"There are still a lot of odd readings," Simmons said, an apologetic twist to her mouth. "And from what I understand, Asgardian technology was brought down when you didn't wake up after the first two or three hours."

"Two or three hours?" Shannon echoed weakly. "How long was I out?"

"Four days."

Shannon's jaw dropped. "What?!"

"You woke up briefly a day ago," Simmons added helpfully. Seriously, the woman seemed far too cheerful about this.

"She got to meet _Thor,"_ Fitz added, a hint of sourness in his voice. Jealous, perhaps?

"He was quite a lovely person, and worried about you a lot." Simmons leaned in a bit, earnest expression that of someone sharing a particularly juicy bit of gossip. "Loki even got a chance to visit you while their machinery was examining you."

"It was a fantastic bit of tech," Fitz said when Shannon looked over at him. "It gives me ideas for some new designs, bots to do the 3D mapping to save agents from climbing into areas."

"You've been working on that forever," Simmons added.

Her arm was still heavy, and trying to lift it only made it flop about next to her. On top of that, the splintering pain in her head was back. All she could do was wince and collapse back into the pillows with a groan.

Both agents turned to her and Simmons immediately turned to examine her pupils, take her pulse, and kept an eye on the monitors. "That odd energy is back. It was dormant for a time, but now it seems to be rising again."

The tablet that Fitz had put aside beeped. "I think there's another breach."

"Oh dear," Simmons murmured, looking at him in alarm.

"What?" Shannon asked, looking between them in a panic.

"There was that portal that Thor opened. The Bifrost. It might have triggered the first migraine, but this looks more like one of the other portals that are opening up all over the world. The biggest one seems to be over London..."

"Oh, no," Fitz muttered with the air of a long-kept argument. Simmons rolled her eyes at him, and Shannon smiled in spite of the mounting pain in her head.

"I have things to do," Shannon said weakly. "My schedule—"

"It's been cleared for now," Simmons assured her. She looked down at the tablet she had and tapped at it a few times. "We're going to get another imaging study."

There hadn't been this much energy put forth in examining her after the scepter's stone had held her inside of it. Maybe they were making up for lost time.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say that there's a resonant frequency," Fitz murmured.

As the two of them spoke, Shannon felt that spike of terror again. Something was happening, and it wasn't good. It was a presence of anger and fear, of desperation. Fitz called it resonance, and she thought perhaps she was feeling the source of the portals.

"Convergence," Shannon gasped, just as the pain increased. It was so much pain, she felt as if it was blinding. Passing out again was a mercy.

***

When Shannon next woke up, she wasn't alone for long. A woman in Asgardian dress with long, straight brown hair entered the room, odd looking electronic equipment in her hands. As she approached, Shannon's attention went from her eager grin to the odd reddish black haze that was in her eyes. A blink of surprise and the haze was gone, leaving behind ordinary human looking eyes. Thor was coming in behind her, as well as Queen Frigga.

She was able to sit herself up, at least, and looked amongst the three visitors. "Hi?"

"Oh yeah," the woman said, nodding enthusiastically as she looked at the device. "That's definitely the same kind of gamma energy that I had readings for before, and it's changing the closer I get to her. The energies definitely have the same resonant frequencies."

"Um. What?" Shannon asked, feeling as though she was more and more exhausted the closer the woman came to her. Her vision flickered, and the magical haze that she could easily ignore before was impossible to blink away. It was all she could see, and it made her head hurt.

"Jane, dear," Frigga said, reaching out for the brunette, "it's hurting her."

As Jane stepped back, Shannon's vision returned to normal and the pain in her temples dimmed a bit. "Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't even realize..."

"Mortals were not meant to hold the power of the infinity stones," Frigga said, coming closer to Shannon. "Though we didn't think you were affected to this degree, apparently some of its energy remained with you."

"Should've gone to Asgard, huh?" Shannon asked weakly, trying to smile.

Frigga hesitated for a moment. "I think it may be best if you do." Her gaze flicked toward Thor and Jane. "They can remain here and track the Convergence, if they like," she said, though it seemed like an afterthought.

"If there are Dark Elves tracking Jane," Thor began, a righteous note to his voice, "we should not lead them here. There are too many innocent lives that may be lost."

"There's a reading in Eastern Europe, if you want Heimdall to help us track it down," Jane said helpfully, looking up from her device. "It's fainter than those portals, but it has the same gamma energy she does."

It definitely wasn't Shannon's imagination that Frigga winced. "Heimdall will be needed to defend Asgard. Dark Elves may use this opportunity to attack again. I can... remove the geas on Loki and allow him to assist you with this world as part of his weregild."

Ah, that was why she was so hesitant.

Shannon gave her an encouraging smile. "He's come a long way, Your Majesty. I'm sure that it'll be fine and he'll be able to help."

Frigga sat down on the end of the hospital bed. "I will ensure that you do," she said, lifting her hands. She began to make gestures with her hands, and Shannon could see threads being woven between them. Magic seemed to flow around Frigga and into those threads, which began to flicker and shine as they formed runic shapes. Shannon watched in fascination, though Thor and Jane didn't seem to see anything.

Once the weaving was complete, Frigga met Shannon's eyes. "This will not reverse what was done to you, I haven't power enough to do such a thing. But this should help you withstand the pressures of the Scepter's energy that remains within you."

Before Shannon could ask what she meant, she pressed the woven runic pattern onto her forehead. She could feel the warmth suffusing her mind, and the pressure receded. Her entire body relaxed, and she could hear the beeping of the monitors slow or silence.

"The energy's still there," Jane said, sounding a little too chipper for Shannon's liking. Then again, that was possibly her way to cope with odd energy floating around within her body.

Shannon could still see it, a darkness that was a fluid red/black energy within Jane's body. That darkness wasn't doing anything other than waiting at the moment, and she felt the difference between its energy and Jane's consciousness. It didn't seek to take over her body, but was using her body as its vehicle for moment, much like the Scepter had done for her.

Looking at her own hand, she could see the pattern of Frigga's runes in the blotches and veins on her skin. It repeated up her arms as well, and probably would even be on her face or body if she looked with a mirror.

"Your body is human," Frigga was saying, "and its attempts to protect you from the Aether's energy is actually harming you. This should help, and you'll be a little more resilient in the days ahead." She stood, and was startled when Shannon grabbed her hand abruptly. "Yes?"

"I don't think the energy wants to stay with me. When this started, I was thinking 'Get it out' a lot at the time. I remember that much. Are you sure that there's no way to get it all out of me? I can't cast magic, and just seeing it isn't a very useful skill."

"On the contrary, it can be very helpful." Frigga patted her hand gently and gave her a fond if distant smile. "You'll always be able to see what is real and what isn't."

"Magic isn't always necessary for that."

She had a thoughtful look as she nodded slowly and stood up. "Perhaps. But you will be of greater assistance if you're assisting my sons with their quest."

"I have other people here to assist as well."

"You're clever enough to balance it all out."

Shannon wasn't sure about that, and watched Frigga glide out of her infirmary room with her regal grace. She sighed and looked over at Thor and Jane. "She expects much of you, but only because she is sure that you can do it," he told her helpfully.

Heaving a sigh, she shook her head and was glad that her pounding headache wasn't back. "I don't think I can. There's only one of me, and I'm stretched too thin as it is."

Jane rushed over to her side and plopped down in an empty chair. No piercing headache followed in her wake, so Frigga's spellcasting did do something after all. "It's really easy to feel that way, when we're caught up in something like this. But I think the 'Get it out' thought was from me, not you. If you're reacting to the power that's inside of me, and it started when Thor brought us here with the Bifrost..." She shot Shannon a rueful and apologetic look. "Well, that's exactly what I was thinking at the time. I didn't mean to cause so much trouble when I saw the fluid, and I didn't intend to do any of this."

"We're not warriors," Shannon murmured.

"Yes, exactly." Jane reached over and grasped her hand in a tight and friendly grip. "But we'll do what we have to do."

"You hardly know me," Shannon protested, shaking her head and sitting up.

"But I've heard Thor talking about how you stood up to him and to the Queen to do what you thought was right. That you don't let Loki get away with anything. And what you're saying while I'm here? You're not a bad person." She smiled, a little twinkle in her eyes. "Though I would hope that a therapist isn't, you know?"

Shannon chuckled weakly. "That's the plan, anyway."

"If the Queen is going to let Loki have his magic," Thor began slowly, a strained expression on his face, "I humbly request your assistance. I don't know if I know him anymore, and I certainly don't feel I can trust him."

"Then don't. He'd have to earn that back."

Thor looked at her in surprise, and Shannon rolled her eyes. "He's a grown ass man, he can suffer the consequences of his actions and atone by himself. I'm only here to point out how he can do that, but it's still a choice that he has to make for himself."

"This is not something familiar on Asgard."

"Think of it as a battle within yourself." Thor nodded thoughtfully, and Shannon used the moment to swing her legs over the side of the bed, her movements awkward and stiff. "I need to call home, tell Henry—"

"Agents sent him home yesterday," Thor admitted. "He was most distressed."

"I would be if something like this happened to him, too. My job isn't supposed to be this dangerous." Shannon let her shoulders droop in defeat. She wanted to just go back to sleep, to be perfectly honest. Could she just pretend that none of this was happening? Just kill the pain in her head and curl up in a ball, sticking her fingers in her ears and deny that any of this bullshit was actually real.

Unfortunately, it was. Denying it wouldn't make it any less true or any less dangerous.

Jane's eyes seemed to flash black, and Shannon reached out to grasp her arm without thinking, her torso swaying closer to the woman. "Don't let it take over you, either," she said, voice intense. "We might not be meant to handle power like that, but we sure as hell don't have to let it win against us."

The shift in her eyes retreated, and Jane smiled. "My thoughts exactly. But I get tired. It's harder to ignore that."

Shannon looked over to Thor, who was looking at Jane with a worried expression. "Um, Thor? How do you feel about getting all of the Avengers back together?"

If anything, he lit up at the suggestion. "A most excellent idea."

***  
***


	8. Plan of Attack

"This really wasn't what I had in mind when you talked about getting the band back together," Tony said, looking at Thor as they were all sitting in Avengers Tower. SHIELD staff had temporarily suspended Shannon's therapy schedule and dispersed her growing caseload to others in California. Henry had asked for FMLA time off to accompany her, not willing to run the risk of losing her again. Tony had quickly overwhelmed him, but they seemed to get along well while they were talking about mechanical things Shannon didn't understand.

Thor, Jane, Agent Gray, and Loki had also accompanied them from California to New York. Bruce Banner and Clint had been in the area, and Natasha Romanoff and Steve Rogers came up from Washington, DC at Director Fury's instruction. Steve looked haggard and worn down, though that quickly faded once he realized people were looking at him. Natasha seemed the same as when Shannon had last seen her, and she carried on a whispered exchange with Clint, eyes on Loki the entire time. Jane's friends Darcy Lewis, Dr. Selvig and their intern Ian were there via teleconference from London. Dr. Selvig hadn't wanted to miss the opportunity to monitor the readings in the city, which were increasing in frequency and magnitude.

"And weirdness!" Darcy had blurted, shoving her way closer to the camera. "Birds flew out of the ground at us!"

For his part, Loki sat very still and stared at his hands as everyone milled about in the large conference room. He was dressed not in Asgardian style armor or clothing, but a black SHIELD field agent suit rather like Agent Gray's. The golden cuffs were gone, and he hadn't yet processed anything about it with Shannon. She still felt stretched too thin and strange, though she at least didn't get massive migraines feeling like an ice pick behind her eyes every time she was sitting next to Jane.

"So what should I be aware of?" Shannon asked, switching seats to be next to Loki as Tony and Thor started hashing out the physics of the Convergence. It all went over her head anyway.

"Regarding?" he asked, not lifting his eyes at all.

"What the Scepter did to me. I thought I could just see magic, but put me next to Jane, even if it wasn't exactly close, and I thought my head was going to explode."

Loki looked up, and for a moment he seemed frightened. Then he smiled at her, an expression that seemed patently false and for everyone else's benefit. "My dear Dr. Tran, no one will allow such a thing to happen. The Allmother saw fit to ease your suffering and release me from these bonds ahead of schedule so I may assist you."

Shannon pinched the bridge of her nose in irritation. "I am _this close_ to cursing you out and just being done with it," she said, eyes still closed. "My head is either pounding or aching, I don't have the energy to puzzle out the politics right now, and I can hear something in the back of my head that just wants to _get out_ that makes me want to split my skull open, even after the Queen did whatever she did."

She opened her eyes when she realized that the entire room had fallen silent. _Trời ơi,"_ she muttered, shaking her head. "So much for professionalism and boundaries."

Steve actually shot her a sympathetic smile. "With this group, it might not be able to stay that way for long, just so you know."

"And yay for _someone_ just telling it like it is," Tony said brightly, grinning at her in delight. "Other than me, of course, because when I do it, I'm just an asshole."

"Because you can be one," she replied without thinking.

Clint snickered at the mortified expression that came over Shannon, and Natasha smacked the back of his head. "Be that as it may," she declared, taking over the course of the conversation, "I see it as these incidents all related to each other, including last winter's disappearance." She gestured toward Shannon, who gaped at her and blinked in shock.

"How do you figure that?"

"We have a clear sequence of events related to this kind of energy signature that Tony and Bruce are able to track. Loki comes with the scepter to take over New York on behalf of some kind of intergalactic terrorist." Natasha looked to Loki, who nodded with a somewhat ill expression on his face. Thor looked at him in interest, but remained silent. "SHIELD techs use that energy in some kind of experiments that I can't hack into—"

"I couldn't either," Tony interrupted, "which is kind of amazing."

"—and we decide that the scepter should be removed. When we do hide it away, it makes Dr. Tran disappear for a few days, but she's also simultaneously seen with her family and in Eastern Europe, where its signature has started showing again. On top of that, we have these portals opening at random times and places, transporting Dr. Foster to a location that contains a different but somewhat similar energy source that takes over her body. When the two energy sources are close to each other, even the very minute traces that are left in Dr. Tran's body, they heighten each others' power level."

Shannon looked about ready to cry, and Jane looked at her in concern. She was across the table, so it was up to Loki to grasp her hand and squeeze it.

"The Convergence is a natural occurrence," Dr. Selvig announced, frowning. "So unless we're looking at it as these power sources _wanting_ to be found..."

"You said that it had a mind of sorts," Natasha told him.

_It has opened my mind to the possibilities,_ Dr. Selvig had crowed when he had been under Loki's command. It was an uncomfortable realization, so Loki looked away from his face on the screen and found himself looking at Tony, who was staring at him intently. 

"It does," Shannon said, voice a little hollow.

"It most certainly does," Dr. Selvig said at the same time. He had that earnest, crazed look on his face again, which made Darcy's concern more evident. "There are directions and energies within that cube, and it was amazing," he added. "I feel like I had advanced understanding in cosmic theory thanks to that exposure, and Jane's work on Einstein-Rosen bridges has more practical applications if only we could harness that power as the Asgardians do."

Jane's eyes flashed black in Shannon's vision, and she could almost see a red haze suffuse the woman's skin. Shannon's head jerked at the sight, and Loki found himself squinting at Jane to see what had startled Shannon.

"These things are related but not the same, and are suddenly popping up on an otherwise not very significant planet," Tony said, looking around the room. "If we don't assume they're sentient, the conditions of the Convergence may be making it easier to find them. Which begs the question as to the European blip you guys are finding. Is it another artifact like these two?"

"I think it's the Scepter," Bruce said, heaving an unhappy breath when everyone turned to look at him. "It's the exact same energy signal that the Scepter had, and we have to get it back before it does any more damage."

"So who'd you give it to?" Clint asked, staring at Shannon.

"They were grieving kids," she replied faintly. "And the Scepter wanted to be with them."

"Do we need to get them, too?" Jane asked.

The power inside of Jane seemed to pulse, and Shannon put her free fingers to her temple. Not quite a migraine, but that was uncomfortable. Loki squeezed her fingers and she felt a flood of magic slide through her body. It was warm, like floating in a pool, and she looked up at everyone staring at her in alarm.

"I'm not actually going to explode," she told them.

"Good to know," Tony said, pointing at her, "because I still want to hire you as a team therapist if you ever get over this SHIELD thing."

"Then she would necessarily have to stop working with me," Loki said stiffly, "and I would be rather opposed to such a thing."

"Anyway," Agent Gray cut in, "is there a way to get the Scepter back from the kids without traumatizing them further? Because if they're doing this to Dr. Tran and she's aware of what happened, what would kids think if we swooped in there and grabbed it from them?"

"That's not the priority," Steve said quietly. He pursed his lips, appearing to be thinking aloud, and the others all fell silent. "Side mission, maybe, but that's not the immediate danger. The energy that's inside Dr. Foster is one that seems to be triggering the Scepter energy. And it's in danger of bringing all kinds of combatants to Earth."

"So we need to get them far away from here as possible," Thor said. "Unfortunately, Jane, I think that means you would have to leave this realm."

"I'm bait, in other words," Jane sighed.

Loki stared at her with narrowed eyes as Darcy and Dr. Selvig protested through the connection from London, and then let go of Shannon's hand. "I wonder..." he began, before doing some kind of complicated hand motion. He finally brought them together as if he was holding a lens between them, and slowly pulled them apart as if making it larger. His eyes widened almost comically as he looked at Jane through his fingers. "Brother..."

He didn't refer to Thor as such when he was thinking about it ahead of time, so the term drew everyone's attention to him. Thor hurried to his side and Shannon deftly got up and out of his way so he could see what Loki was seeing. "What is this?" Thor murmured.

"Under magic with a bit of the _seiðr_ thrown in. It had resisted my attempt earlier, if you recall, but the under magic is all but ignored."

"Meaning what?"

"There were tales we had been told as children," Loki began slowly, not taking his eyes off of Jane. "Tales of your grandfather, and the war with the Dark Elves. They were searching for a great well of power, and were planning to use it to annihilate Asgard."

Thor pulled a face. "I remember talk of battles."

"Afterward, the power was condensed and locked away in an entirely different plane of existence so that should any of the Dark Elves actually survive the destruction of Svartalfheim, they could not ever reach it."

All eyes swiveled to look at Jane. She winced and waved her fingers a little, making Shannon look at her in sympathy.

"So then we _really_ need to get off this planet, because the Chitauri were foot soldiers and still did a lot of damage," Natasha said in brisk tones.

"Any less populated ones we could go to?" Clint asked.

"How destroyed is their homeland?" Bruce asked at the same time.

Loki closed off the viewing spell he had created. "Nothing grows there. Nothing lives."

"So it's definitely a possibility," Steve said, looking directly at him.

Returning his gaze was uncomfortable, so instead Loki turned toward Thor. "Can you contact Heimdall to summon a large enough Bifrost?"

"I don't think it's smart getting us all involved. We're only lucky it worked out well the last time we all got together," Bruce protested.

"On the contrary," Steve said, shaking his head. "We all have different strengths, and it's how we use them that's important. Not all of us would have to go, but definitely the fighters to protect Jane and take out the Dark Elves if they come for her."

"The elves that had come to Asgard seemed to know Jane was there," Thor said. "So we have no need to contact them directly. They said they served Malekith, but that's impossible. He would have died thousands of years ago."

"Unless it's an inherited title. Or someone else taking on the name and using the history behind it to intimidate you," Tony pointed out.

"Either way, Dr. Tran would stay behind and not come with us to Svartalfheim," Natasha said, looking over at her. "Maybe she and Dr. Selvig can look for the Scepter."

Relieved, Shannon turned to the screen and waved. "Sounds like a plan to me, less fighting involved with that."

"Well, a lot of Eastern Europe is in turmoil," Dr. Selvig turned out. "It isn't exactly a war zone, but it's not a walk in the park, either."

"I could accompany you," Agent Gray offered. "I think I'm going to be kind of useless on another planet if the Avengers are involved."

"I resemble that remark," Clint said dryly, and Natasha also looked at Gray and said with an arch tone. "I don't exactly have powers."

Gray flushed in embarrassment. "Sorry. Didn't mean it that way, but all the rest of you would be more equipped to deal with aliens, right?"

"You work with an alien," Natasha told him in sardonic tones. "You may want to rethink that."

He shut his eyes and heaved a sigh of self recrimination as Loki chuckled. "I forgive you for not thinking of me as an alien," he added.

"So we have the European team and then the rest of us going to another planet," Steve said, cutting off further derailment. He seemed more in his element now, and the others clearly looked up to him in that moment. Turning to Loki and then looking at Thor, he had a serious expression on his face. "You two are the elf experts, and it sounds like they're more deadly and dangerous than the Chitauri were." Both Asgardians nodded. "What's preventing you from pulling the energy out of Dr. Foster? I don't understand that part."

"It's separate but still somehow woven into her very being," Loki said when it was clear that Thor couldn't answer. "If the Allmother was unable to undo that, I certainly won't be able to. Her skill with the _spá_ is unparalleled, where my proficiency is more with the _seiðr."_

"I'll pretend I know what that means," Steve said with a firm nod, "but it's clear that you do. If you can't do what she couldn't, how are we going to get this out of Dr. Foster?"

"The elves must know how to process it," Tony said, frowning. "They wouldn't have gone to Asgard or attacked them multiple times in the millennia if they didn't know how to use it or process it. I can't say I can learn magic overnight or figure out whatever your expert physicians couldn't, but we're clearly on a clock. Human bodies aren't made to withstand that kind of stress for very long."

"It's a different kind of radiation than the gamma I was working with," Bruce said mildly.

"Still radiation, and still probably deadly," Tony retorted. He looked over at Jane. "If you're the bait, that means we should wait until they actually take it out of you to attack."

"I'm really not liking this plan," Jane sighed.

"We're looking at an ambush, then," Natasha said. "So we need Clint with us as the sniper, I can do some distance shooting or hand to hand if we need it. Steve would have to be hidden, and Tony can also be hidden."

"That would definitely fall under Loki's expertise," Thor acknowledged. He looked over at Loki with an amused twinkle in his eyes. "What better pastime is there than to fool the enemies of Asgard and defeat them?"

Loki huffed and rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest. "If we must."

As much as he sounded bored and put upon, they could also feel the excitement building. It was time to plan for an attack.

***

Svartalfheim was a blasted and desolate planet, scorch marks remaining on the ground and hills from the battles that had occurred millennia ago. The skies were overcast, clouds still heavy with ash and dirt that had been kicked up from the blast damage. Some scrub bushes and grasses had survived, as they were stubborn and could manage some kind of growth even with little direct light, and insects had managed to flourish in the absence of elves and most larger animal species that had once lived on the planet. Little burrowing mammals survived as well, feeding on the insects or grasses, but there were no longer any fliers to contend with.

"I seriously have an itch to terraform this place," Tony murmured, looking around.

"The introduction of Earth species of plants might disrupt the ecosystem of this world," JARVIS told him mildly. "There is certainly enough damage here that you wouldn't want to bring in invasive species to kill off what is already here."

"Yeah, but if we could clear out the clouds and let in more light? Bring in plants similar to what's here? If the elves just want a home again, we can bargain for that."

"From what was discussed, the goal is also the annihilation of Asgard and every connected world," JARVIS reminded him.

"There's that," Tony acknowledged, letting out a frustrated sigh. He couldn't help but look around the plain from his hidden location in the hills, sensors picking up the contents of the soil, the brush, the animals, all of it. "You can run a simulation for me, though."

"Is that an appropriate allocation of resources, sir?" JARVIS replied.

"Buddy, that's what's going to keep me from getting bored while we wait for elves to show up. I don't do well sitting still like our snipers over there."

The snipers in question were Clint and Natasha. He had his bow and a quiver full of trick arrows as well as an impressive looking gun he had taken out of SHIELD inventory. Natasha had her Glock pistols strapped to her thighs with extra magazines in utility pouches on her belt, as well as a wicked looking rifle with a scope that looked as though it could chamber hollow point armor piercing rounds. Knowing her, it probably was.

Bruce had resisted the idea of coming to Svartalfheim in Hulk form, and was somewhat cowering in his mortal form near Tony and behind Steve with his shield. Tony had thought he would do fine as the Hulk, as he had been in Midtown the year before, but Bruce was only too aware that the Avengers had to stay hidden. He wasn't as confident in his Hulk form as Tony was, and it hadn't been worth the argument. It was certainly easier to cover him with the invisibility spell in his smaller size than the larger, and he could Hulk out fairly quickly and jump into the fray.

Loki had nixed Thor's initial plan, and decided that he would present his argument to Malekith that he had captured Jane from Thor and was willing to trade them both for power. "He saw the both of you on Asgard before you escaped," Loki told him, rolling his eyes. "You're a terrible liar and worse at bargaining for what you want because you're so pathetically transparent," he said, shaking his head. "No, you wouldn't be able to pull off something like this. You'll have to follow my lead on this, no matter how I have to present it to him."

Thor had inclined his head. "As long as Jane remains safe."

"That's the plan."

Hesitating a moment as they waited for Malekith to arrive, he looked at Loki's stiff profile and his tight grip on the rope leading to Jane's bound hands. It was only loosely done, but the illusion cast over them made them seem painfully tight. "It's good to be fighting beside you again," Thor said, chancing that Loki wouldn't rebuff him.

"I suppose," Loki said stiffly. "Though you'd probably prefer less subterfuge and more melee attacks right from the start."

"Every battle is different. This is one where I don't understand the field as well as you do, so your tactics are best."

Startled, Loki looked over at Thor. "You aren't the greatest strategist?"

His mouth quirked in amusement. "Perhaps in a clear battlefield, my skill in strategy would be more appropriate. But this is different, and I would bow to the greater expertise."

Giving him a thoughtful look, Loki nodded. "I see. Have you been working with a therapist through SHIELD as well?"

"No. Do you think I should?"

"If you do," Loki said sharply, a possessive air to his expression, "you will _not_ use mine. I already have to share her with others at SHIELD, and I won't have you taking up all of her time so I cannot meet with her."

Thor gave him a broad smile. "I am glad you have her, then. I wished you could speak with me of your troubles, but you at least have someone to talk to about them." He paused and looked away from Loki to the blasted landscape. "I don't know how we grew so far apart. I don't know how to help you now, but I'd like to."

Loki let out a series of slow, long breaths, also looking away from Thor and ignoring Jane and her intense stare at him. She'd slapped him for the damage in New York, which made him laugh; she was so well suited for Thor it was painful. "You've been part of the problem, Thor," Loki told him honestly, turning back to face him. "And until you're not, you can't help me."

He leaned back in shock, a pained expression on his face, and Loki felt a pang of remorse twist in his chest. Of course those words would have hurt Thor, of course it would have made that bright and buoyant attitude deflate. Perhaps a year or two ago he would have reveled in his ability to hurt Thor so deftly, no manipulation necessary. Right now, he just felt defeated and empty, a hollow shell of who he used to be.

"How have I been a problem for you?" Thor asked quietly, not denying Loki's words. At least there was that. Had Loki said something similar to Frigga or Odin, it would have likely been turned back at him in some way.

"I told you. I was the shadow beneath your sun. Until that is no longer true, you will continue to be the impossible metric."

Thor's crumpled expression didn't change, but he nodded solemnly. "Thank you for telling me. I don't know how to change that."

"I don't think you can."

He winced at Loki's simple words, but the pain didn't give Loki any joy. Loki filed away the observation for later; Shannon would likely be able to help him figure out why things had changed so drastically in his own heart.

The arrival of a ship into the atmosphere cut off Thor's possible reply. Jane tensed and looked anxiously out in the direction of the ship. "I don't know if I'm ready."

Loki grinned, a baring of teeth that seemed feral. "No one ever is."

Thor winced and looked at him. "Are you mad?"

"Quite possibly," Loki said absently, watching as dark elves filed out of the ship after it landed on the far side of the plains. It looked as though the ship could easily house thousands of the dark elves. "Time to begin."

"I don't like this plan," Thor began.

"And I never liked 'Get Help,' but you carried on anyway," Loki replied, taking up a blade. The feral grin on his face was still there, and then he stabbed Thor in the gut. "Consider this to be part of your recompense."

Jane shrieked in terror, which drew the attention of the elves. Some began to come closer, and Loki kicked the back of Thor's knees, causing him to tumble down the hillside. He laughed, a maniacal sound that made the hair at the back of Jane's neck rise and the power inside of her come to the fore. "All I ever wanted was you and Odin dead at my feet!" he shouted, teeth bared as he stalked forward and down the hillside, dragging Jane behind him.

"You'll pay for your treachery," Thor grunted as Loki approached in one direction and the dark elves led by Malekith from the other. He reached out to summon Mjolnir, and Loki sliced downward with the blade, cutting off his hand in one fell swoop.

As Thor roared in pain and rolled onto his back, clutching the stump to his chest, Loki raised his malevolent gaze toward Malekith and the elves behind him. All carried swords and were poised to attack at any moment.

"Malekith," Loki boomed, giving the rope holding Jane another contemptuous yank. "I am Loki of Jotunheim and I bring you a gift!" He tugged on the rope hard enough to make Jane fall to the ground between him and Malekith. She gasped, eyes flashing back to her ordinary human hue, the power surge temporarily dampened. "I ask only one thing in return, a good seat from which to watch Asgard burn."

One of the elves standing in the front was larger and more powerfully built than the others. He murmured something to Malekith, but Loki understood him. _He's the banished prince, the one they're forbidden to speak of. That makes him an enemy of Asgard._

Looking from the elf to Loki, Malekith narrowed his eyes. "I will consider it." He lifted a hand, and Jane's body lifted from the ground. It didn't occur to him to notice that there were no ropes around her wrists anymore, and that the bindings were gone. Lifting his other hand, he made a series of gestures and then pulled it back.

The dark red-black swirling energy started to be drawn out of Jane's body. It shimmered like mercury, each droplet starting to congeal into a larger liquid mass. "The Aether is finally home, back where it belongs," Malekith said in satisfaction as the last drop left Jane. Her body dropped to the ground unceremoniously, and both of his hands were cradled in front of him, making a compressing gesture. The energy congealed further, becoming a sphere.

Jane's body dropping to the ground was the signal that everyone needed. "Now!" Loki shouted.

And then all hell broke loose.

***  
***


	9. Discovering New Allies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New year, new chapter!
> 
> Happy New Year everyone. :)

"I wonder if perhaps I should have gone on the expedition to Svartalfheim," Dr. Erik Selvig mused as Darcy drove the car. He squinted into the distance from his seat in the front passenger side, lost in his thoughts. "I've never been to another planet, and I would've like to have seen it. This might be my only opportunity."

"We're friends with Thor, probably not," Darcy Lewis said with a cheerful note. Her black hair was pulled into a very practical ponytail rather than hanging loose, though every bump in the road led her head to bang into the headrest. The elastic hitting skull stopped being pleasant a long time ago, and now she huffed in annoyance with every bump.

Agent Gray and Shannon were in the back seat, bumping along without too much additional difficulty. Gray was holding onto the equipment that Dr. Selvig wasn't, and its screens were blank as if they were shut off. Dr. Selvig was holding onto the one that was actually tracking the low grade gamma radiation that the Scepter was giving off.

"It's winking in and out of sensor range," Dr. Selvig complained irritably. "I don't know if it's because this box has been hit so many times, or that the Scepter is and then isn't existing on this world."

"It could be either one," Gray offered. "Especially with Convergence portals."

Dr. Selvig growled in frustration. "I didn't put on pants for _this!"_

"But we're very grateful that you did," Shannon interjected quickly.

"Yeah, Erik, no one wants to see your tighty whiteys, man." Another particularly large pothole in the road led Darcy to smack the back of her head against the headrest. "Ow! Dammit!"

"I offered to drive," Gray reminded her.

"I've never driven in Europe before!"

"England is part of Europe," Gray said.

She whipped her head around to glare at him. _"Continental_ Europe," she corrected, then turned around to face forward. "But the roads are _terrible_ here."

"Almost as if there was a war here that they never truly recovered from," Dr. Selvig replied in total deadpan. Darcy glared at him next, but he was oblivious.

"How much time do we have before things all fall apart?" Gray asked Dr. Selvig. It was an obvious attempt to distract him from current matters, but the physicist didn't seem to notice.

"It depends if the others were able to stop the dark elves from getting their hands on that power source. Jane had so much energy, and if it was brought into place with all of the other portal energies of the Convergence lined up..."

"Sounds dramatic," Darcy said, maneuvering around another pothole.

"The portals are starting to coalesce and center around one location."

"Do we know where it'll be?" Shannon asked anxiously.

"This has happened before, thousands of years ago, and The Ancients were there to see it," Dr. Selvig told them. His voice took on an almost dreamy cast to it. "When I had the influence of the Scepter, I could almost unlock the secrets of the universe. As if my very mind was expanded and gifted with infinite knowledge."

"I didn't get that," Shannon sighed. "I apparently could bilocate and talk to different people at the same time."

"Well, it sounds to me like your experience was dictated by who you are," Gray commented.

Dr. Selvig turned around and looked at him with interest. "What's that?"

"You're a scientist and want knowledge, so that's what you get. She's a therapist and wants to talk to people, so that's what she got."

"Lots of communication," Darcy said, nodding. "Kinda trippy though, that a rock could do all that just from touching it."

"It's not just a rock," Dr. Selvig said in an affronted tone of voice. "It's energy. Concentrated in a single space, with more energy radiating out from it, capable of transmuting others."

"Yeah, I'm aware of the transmutation effect," Shannon said dryly. "I can't do magic, but I can see it, and I can tell you, it's a fucking headache."

"Seriously?" Darcy asked, sounding excited as she flicked her eyes up to the rearview mirror to look at Shannon. "Seeing magic sounds cool."

"It's not," Shannon told her flatly. "Think of it like watching one of those old blue and red 3D movies without the glasses. It just gives you a massive migraine."

Darcy pulled a face. "Yeah, okay, that doesn't sound cool at all. I was thinking more like invisibility stuff in movies."

"This is definitely not a movie," Shannon groused.

"If it were, who do you think would play me?" Darcy asked, grinning and looking up at her through the rearview mirror again. "Gotta be someone with big enough boobs. With all the trouble I get keeping these girls in line with cheap college student priced bras, I wanna see movie magic make 'em look awesome."

Dr. Selvig and Gray sputtered as Shannon laughed in delight as Darcy winked at her. "Hey, maybe you can get hired on by SHIELD and get an actual salary."

"Fantastic," Darcy said. "Being an intern sucks, I don't get paid. I did get to stay in London with Jane, though. That part was pretty fun."

"Let's live through this first," Gray suggested.

"Somehow, I think we have the less dangerous part of this plan," Dr. Selvig commented.

"Just more emotionally intricate, perhaps," Shannon said.

"Why do you say that?"

"They were kids," Shannon said softly. "I remember that. Not too much detail, it was pretty hazy at the time since I wasn't really in control of my own body. But I wasn't afraid of them. They were little more than kids staying with distant relatives out of obligation than love."

"What happened to their parents?"

"The war here," Shannon said. "The bomb fell through the ceiling of their house, and their parents were killed. The twins were trapped in the debris for days waiting for that bomb to go off, but it never did."

"So it was a dud," Gray said.

"Still deadly," Shannon pointed out.

Chastened, Gray could only nod and sigh. "Will they even want to speak with us?"

"That's why we have me," Shannon sighed. "I'm the supervillain whisperer, right?"

"Working with the Avengers, too."

"That sounds cool," Darcy offered in the uncomfortable silence.

"It's like the seeing magic thing. It sounds cooler than it really is." She rubbed the side of her head, which was starting to throb a bit. Dr. Selvig's instrument started beeping. "And this whole Convergence thing took precedence, so I don't really know if I've gotten far enough at this point in the therapy."

"What's far enough?" Darcy asked, giving Dr. Selvig a side eyed glance.

"Being able to cope and function in times of stress."

"Ye-e-ah," Darcy muttered, drawing out the syllable. "Probably not quite there yet, here."

"Are any of us?" Gray asked.

"I for one am coping admirably," Dr. Selvig said. "Can you turn right? The signal moved."

Darcy tried to maneuver through the narrow streets. "You were hospitalized because they thought you were crazy."

"But I wasn't, was I? Loki did take over my mind to build his device that opened a portal. I was aware that these oddities in the news reports were related to spatial distortions picked up on our instruments. I knew that this had all happened before. I knew full well that it would have to be handled by competent people."

"Perhaps the execution of those ideas could've been better," Shannon suggested.

"The minds of those authority figures are too small," Dr. Selvig said, then grunted as they drove through an unavoidable pothole. "Straight ahead, Darcy, it's still there," he told her, consulting his device. "And besides," he said, tilting his chin so it was obvious he was speaking to Shannon and Gray again, "they wouldn't know what I was talking about. How many of the average people understand the changing dynamics that would go into the study of physics?"

"Not me," Shannon admitted.

"Me neither," Gray said with a shrug. "I was a poli sci major."

"Oh hey, that's my major, too!" Darcy cried, flicking her glance up to the rearview to grin at Gray. "Poli sci majors for the win!"

Gray laughed as Dr. Selvig grunted again in dissatisfaction. "The point is," he said, a little more insistent, "things have to be done but those in authority don't understand it. They don't _want_ to understand it. These are intricate sciences and theoretical applications, not convenient sound bites to play on news stations."

"Pretty cynical," Gray commented.

"Not wrong, though," Darcy said. "Uh, we're close to running out of road here."

Up ahead was a partially demolished building and piles of rubble that apparently had never been cleared away. Shannon felt as though her heart was in her throat, though she couldn't have said why. Gray didn't seem particularly swayed by it, and Dr. Selvig was tapping on the screen in front of him. "I think it's in there."

Shannon let him lead the way, but there was a sense of déjà vu as they climbed through the wreckage of the apartment building. She wanted to say that they were looking for the third floor, what was left of it, but Dr. Selvig was leading them there.

The Stark Industries bomb had been cleared away years ago, but the entire neighborhood had been left to rot and decay. It had been on the outskirts of the city, one of the poorer areas, and there had been a large population of Roma and ethnic minorities that the people at large had simply wanted to forget about. It had been easier to let the area fall into further disrepair and let the survivors squat in their former homes than devote actual resources to rebuild it.

Darcy looked around with a look of shock and horror on her face. "Someone still lives here? It's so dangerous!"

"Sometimes it's the danger you know versus the one you don't," a young woman's accented voice said. She was from somewhere above them, and all four stilled. "Why are you here?"

Dr. Selvig raised the device in his hand, and the steady beeping it had been making increased in frequency. "Well, I think we're here to find you."

Taking a breath before the young woman could answer, Shannon let her vision shift and looked above their heads. She could see the threads of magic reinforcing the ceiling so that it wouldn't collapse and create more rubble. Caught within the red threads was the halo of a woman, and crouched beside her was a man.

"Both of you," she said, looking right at them.

"I remember you," she said.

"I wasn't exactly myself then," Shannon called out as the others with her turned and gave her questioning looks. "But there's an echo of the Scepter left. So I can see you and the magic all around us. I can't do anything with it, but I can see it."

"Why are you telling me this? Trying to scare me?"

Shannon shook her head. "We'd like to talk with you. The portals opening, all of it, that's a phenomena affecting us. I don't know if it's hurting you, but it gave me wicked migraines and made me pass out. And I barely have any gifts."

With that magic vision, Shannon could see the shift in the woman's posture and face. The two looked at each other, probably frowning as they tried to understand what she was saying. Their first language wasn't English, after all.

"It hurt," she clarified. "A lot." She pointed to her temples. "Like pressing in, like it was going to squeeze the top of my head off."

"I thought..." The woman's voice sounded small and fearful. "I thought we were being hunted."

"Can we talk?" Shannon asked again. "If this is a safe place for you and room for us? If not, we can find a café or hotel room or something."

The two were talking in some other language, the cadence distinctly Eastern European. Dr. Selvig stayed very still as the two were talking, and now shut off the device in his hands and let them hang down at his sides. Gray hadn't moved to get the sidearm that was part of his uniform, and Darcy was looking at the darkness around her with wide, mistrustful eyes.

"Hotel," the woman said finally in English. "This is not a safe place for anyone."

"Then why are you guys here?" Darcy asked in surprise, facing in the same direction Shannon was. "You should be living somewhere safe, too!"

"Not many here think so." It was a matter of fact statement, not one to try to gain their sympathy.

"Let's get out of here before the rocks fall and everyone dies," Darcy suggested, thumbing the area behind her. "I'm guessing you'll feel safer if we head out first?"

More of the language between the two of them, and finally the young woman heaved a sigh. "I can take care of it."

A red haze filled the entire area, blinding Shannon with its brightness and leaving the others merely stunned.

She stumbled, feeling reality shift around her, and Gray automatically grasped her arm and steadied her. She could hear Darcy and Dr. Selvig, and there was the crunching of other footfalls nearby. "What's with her?" the man grumbled.

After an odd pause, Shannon felt a warm glow suffusing her body. "Magic backlash," the young woman said. "May I?" she asked, likely asking Gray to come in closer. He must have nodded, because soon Shannon felt hands on her cheeks, pulling at the skin over her cheekbones as if someone was looking into her eyes. "Can you see me?"

"I can't see anything," Shannon murmured, holding herself very still.

The warm glow grew even warmer. "I'll fix that. I'm sorry, I didn't know what would happen to you when I moved us."

"Uh—"

Heat grew exponentially beneath her skin, until it felt as though she had swallowed a sun. Just as Shannon was about to cry out in pain, the woman blew into her eyes, making her flinch and her whole body recoil.

When she opened her eyes, everything seemed to have a reddish tinge, but she could see shadows and shapes again. A few more blinks, and she could see the odd superposition of the real world and the world behind the world. Another few blinks after that, and then she could shift her vision back to the real world only.

Lifting her hands, she saw the tendrils of energy coiling around her fingers. Red and shimmering, twining around her fingers almost like another hand. It was so odd to see that, when she had never had this before.

"Dude," Darcy said, jaw dropping and eyes widening. "Your hands are glowing."

"Uh..." Shannon began, wiggling her fingers and seeing the tendrils of red energy twist and flow around them.

"Did you just give her magic?" Gray asked in surprise.

"You said you could see it," the young woman said defensively, pushing her hair behind her ears.

She was dressed in torn black leggings, a red shirt and a black jacket over it. There were layers of necklaces with dangling crystals and charms, as well as rings on her fingers and chipped dark polish on her nails. Next to her, the young man was taller with dyed platinum blond hair over roots that were the same dark color as the woman's. Both wore battered black boots that looked like army surplus gear, and the young man's pants were more like army surplus ones as well. His shirt was stained with dirt and grime in several places, and his denim jacket had all of the outer pockets ripped off of it.

"It looks different now," Shannon admitted. "Maybe you gave me a little more than I had before, but I can see now. Thank you."

"You're sensitive to it. The amount of energy to move all of us was a lot."

Shannon squinted at the young woman and tilted her head to the side. "You're practically bleeding energy, too. That might be fine while you still have the Scepter to fuel you, but you should still learn to conserve the energy you have so you don't burn out."

The young man glowered at Shannon. "Are you threatening my sister?"

The young woman held up a hand; she was clearly the sibling in charge. "What do you know about all of this?"

"Less than I'd like, and maybe less than you. But there's a lot of strangeness happening right now, which is probably causing you more problems than you need. Right?"

She licked her lips and exchanged a glance with her brother. "I am Wanda, and this is Pietro."

Making introductions for everyone, they headed for a nearby hotel. Gray used his SHIELD account to pay for a large room, and eventually set up some kind of equipment that would block others from being able to listen in through all of the standard radio frequencies and any of a number that SHIELD intelligence knew that other organizations used.

"This is... fancy," Darcy muttered, looking at Gray dubiously.

"We want to be careful, right?" he said without apology. "This is important."

Wanda and Pietro sat on one of the beds, holding hands tightly. It was the only sign that they might be afraid of the situation, and that they were only too aware that there were only two of them against the four newcomers. Wanda could no doubt hold her own, and Pietro was tight lipped about what ability he might have developed in close proximity to the Scepter. Shannon knew he had some skill, as her magical vision could see traces of it suffusing his body as well, but that was his secret to disclose when he was ready to do so.

It was up to Dr. Selvig to explain the phenomenon of the Convergence. Darcy explained what she had seen as Jane Foster's intern, as well as the readings that had been seen in London while Jane was working on another postdoc. Gray explained what he could of the portals and missing people throughout the United States, as well as the extrapolations to the rest of the world from the reports he had looked at in SHIELD databases.

The twins gradually let go of each other, and Wanda looked the most concerned by their tales the more that they spoke. Pietro remained stoic, leg jiggling as Gray talked. "So why do you need us?" he asked finally, a belligerent tone to his voice.

"I wanted to warn you," Shannon admitted, pointing to her temple. "I've passed out and was in pain a lot in the past two weeks. I don't have much power, but the two of you have lots of it. I thought you'd be hurt."

"Wait, him, too?" Darcy asked.

Pietro glowered at Shannon but said nothing. Wanda looked at Darcy. "It's not important. These portals for the Convergence. Places and planets blending together. It sounds like something that could destroy our planet and kill the people."

"If the dark elves get their way," Dr. Selvig nodded. "I think The Ancients had seen this five thousand years ago, and put out warnings for us to follow. Directions for handling it, if you will," he added, waving his device around.

"How would we know what these directions are?" Pietro asked, going straight to the question that the others hadn't voiced in their travels to Sokovia.

Dr. Selvig hit some buttons on his device, changing its screen settings. The obnoxious beeping had been silenced some time before, thankfully, and now he was pulling up a map of England. "I know there are a great many structures that The Ancients had built. We don't know their actual function, but they align with the solstices and are where many ley lines meet to form a well of energy within the earth. Most of them are fairly famous." He enlarged portions of the map and turned the device so all of the others could crowd around and see what he was talking about, his excitement almost a palpable thing. "Stonehenge. Snowdon. The Great Orme." Each location was displayed, and he managed to create a dot on the map in the device. Once he did, he drew imaginary lines intersecting them. "These are all coordinates taking us here."

Gray squinted at the tiny type on the screen. "Greenwich?" he asked, actually pronouncing the W in the name.

After correcting his pronunciation, Dr. Selvig stared at each of them in turn. "I have been working on physics and the theory involved for years. I have also been working on it with Jane Foster. We know from Thor and Loki being reality that these stories must also be reality."

Wanda grimaced. "Real enough to make it to the news, though we thought it was all American propaganda when we heard of it."

"Oh, no," Darcy said, shaking her head. "Very real. Thor's pretty muscly and hot."

The men all stared at her while Shannon and Wanda grinned at her. "And I work with Loki," Shannon admitted. "He helped me when the Scepter first made me disappear."

"It's been in good hands with us," Pietro said, clearly indicating that the twins weren't going to give it up anytime soon.

Dr. Selvig expanded the map on his device during this byplay and got their attention again. "The walls between worlds will be almost nonexistent when the Convergence is in its prime. Think of it as everything lining up in a row." He tapped the screen, and all eyes were drawn to the dense lines making up the buildings and roadways within Greenwich. "And with all of the planets of Yggdrasil in alignment, the energy will be in perfect resonance. This will build up exponentially, until we don't even know what will happen on all of the worlds."

"Meaning?" Pietro asked, expression and posture challenging.

"Meaning physics is going to go crazy. Increases and decreases in gravity. Spatial extrusions and intrusions." At their blank looks, he sighed and his shoulders drooped. "The very fabric of reality is going to be torn apart."

***  
***


	10. Divergence

Loki's shout of "Now!" didn't even give Malekith pause. The illusion over Thor's hand fell, and Mjolnir was in his hand. It crackled to life and shockingly bright energy blasted the Aether in its spherical form above him. At the same time, Tony shot up into the air and started targeting the dark elves with repulsor blasts. Clint and Natasha fired multiple shots at Malekith, riddling his body with explosive arrows and hollow point bullets.

The Aether didn't explode with the force of the lightning blast. It was blasted apart, a floating mass of energy that scattered across the plain.

Malekith shouted in anger and surged forward when the bullets and explosions would have pushed him backward. He reached out, trying to gather the shards of Aether together, but a hollow point bullet blasted one of his hands apart. It continued through the ruin of his hand behind him, hitting the larger dark elf.

That elf roared, back arching despite the hole in his shoulder. He bounded forward, pulling some kind of device out of a pouch at his belt. Natasha didn't even hesitate, she shot him in the center of his forehead as he headed in her direction at a dead run. The elf continued forward with his momentum, though the large hole in his head was clearly visible. The device in his hand was obviously dangerous as it whirred to life in his hand, judging by the way elves close to him started to scatter in a panic.

The device enlarged, creating a dark vortex that sucked in everything around it. The larger elf was included in that area, as well as one or two of the elves that weren't quite fast enough to outrun the vortex device's event horizon.

In the meantime, Malekith wasn't quite dead despite the bullets and arrows that had been fired into him. Thor tried to blast him with Mjolnir then hit him in his blasted chest armor with it. That made Malekith stagger backward, but his remaining hand lifted, bringing up some of the debris from the ground with it.

Jane pushed herself up to her feet and saw a globule of the Aether spin past her face. Without thinking, she reached out and grabbed it. As it fused with her, Malekith shouted and reached out for her with the debris.

She swatted all of the debris away in annoyance and closed her hand into a tight fist. Clint and Natasha couldn't shoot into their tight knot for fear of hitting her or Thor, and instead were starting to help Tony pick off the dark elves. There were distant _ping_ sounds as Steve's shield rebounded off of armor to hit another elf upside the head. He was as adept at throwing it as he was swinging it as a weapon in a shield bashing motion, and he was also very capable of running swiftly into the melee to take a swing.

A distant roar indicated that the Hulk had joined the fray, but he seemed to be smashing the ship that the elves had arrived in rather than the elves themselves. He roared, ripping apart the metal hull, then dove inside the craft to rip apart the rest of it from the inside out.

Ignoring the noise, Jane turned to Malekith, her fist shimmering red and black. "I will never allow you to fire the Aether when all nine worlds are connected. You will _never_ destroy this universe and everything in it!"

With those words, she swung her fist at Malekith's face, shattering his cheekbones and sending him flying across the field. Once her punch was done, she released her fist and the Aether globule floated out of her palm and continued to drift aimlessly in the air.

Loki in the meantime had started fighting one of the dark elf lieutenants that had been trying to come to Malekith's defense. He had pulled curved swords out from a pocket dimension that he usually stored weapons in, and they were real instead of illusory as it had been when he had attacked Thor. The grin on his face was less feral now, and he was clearly enjoying the thrill of the fight. Every movement was fluid and graceful, swinging the swords with a practiced ease even though he had been locked away from weapons for the past year.

"Come at me, you monster!" he chortled, swinging his twin swords and slicing across one elf's chest. He kicked the elf in the gut when he staggered, then spun around with the swords to slice off his head.

Malekith only laughed, a bitter sound that hurt to hear. "You call me the monster, when you lie as well as your forefathers had."

Gritting his teeth, Loki could only shove dark elves out of his way and approach Malekith. "They are no forefathers of mine."

"Tell yourself what you must," Malekith spat, sending a wave of stones in Loki's direction that he was barely able to duck. "Your universe was never meant to be." He advanced, pushing Jane aside with a blast of air. "This should all be darkness, deeper than the black of space and the souls of your ancestors. Your world and your family will be extinguished."

Thor sent Mjolnir into the back of Malekith's head, sending him flying. "Not while we draw breath," he declared, running forward.

Joining him as Mjolnir flew backward toward Thor, Loki swiftly stabbed both of his swords down. This pinned Malekith to the ground, and blood oozed from his wounds. He didn't seem to care, and only grinned at them with a manic and toothy grin that Loki had given him earlier. It was disconcerting to see it on Malekith's face, but Loki wouldn't give the dark elf leader the satisfaction of knowing he was unnerved.

His laughter was as eerie and grating as it had been before. "You think you can stop me? The Aether cannot be destroyed."

Thor had caught up to them, and was swinging Mjolnir in a circle, building up momentum and a crackling charge. "Perhaps not," he agreed in grave tones, "but you can."

Mjolnir swung down with that massive, crackling energy, landing right in the center of Malekith's head. It exploded in a burst of blood and brains, spattering Loki and Thor in a grisly abstract design. The two exchanged a glance, and Loki retrieved his swords. Battle still raged all around them, but the Avengers carried on. As weary as Tony and Steve seemed to be after a time, the dark elves didn't stand a chance.

Hesitantly, Thor extended his hand. "Brother."

Loki looked from that hand to Thor's earnest expression, and let out a slow breath. He reached out and took that hand. "Brother."

Grinning as if he was the personification of the most beautiful sunrise, Thor nodded. "This is good work here. Just work."

It clearly was strange for Loki to be on the side of justice and rightness, but he smiled at Thor just the same. "As it was years ago."

"Better times then, surely?"

"Fewer shadows," Loki murmured.

Thor nodded, his smile faintly tinged with sadness. "I will endeavor not to cast so many."

"I suppose I can't ask for more."

"Not during battle," Thor said, grin brightening again. "Let us finish the job!"

Side by side, they jumped back into the fight.

***

The crackle and bright flash of the Bifrost was brighter than the hazy red mist that Wanda created around the Sokovian team. Portals still opened up at random intervals around the world, though Jane took one look at Dr. Selvig's readings and announced that they weren't actually random at all. "Think of it as resonant frequencies, and the portals opened at the points where the frequencies overlap. Whether it's the same frequencies within one realm or an overlap of multiple ones, that's what is triggering them."

"So we have to change the resonance in order to stop the portals?" Wanda asked.

Tony flew in front of her and flipped up his faceplate. "I don't know who you are, but I like your plan. Do you know how to change that?"

Wanda and her brother Pietro exchanged a wary glance, and Shannon could see the magic charging up within them. She stepped up between them all and smiled in an unassuming way. "It _is_ a natural phenomena, so it could probably pass on its own."

"But it's going to get really intense until it does."

"Convergence hits its peak in fifteen minutes," Jane said as a blast of icy wind flew over their heads about a story up, hitting a building and frosting its surface in seconds. "And yes, it's going to get much worse until it does."

Shannon pulled a face and threw up her hands. "I don't know physics well, only psychology."

"Can we predict where the worst of the portals are going to be and block them off?" Darcy asked Jane, an anxious expression on her face.

Somewhere in the distance was the roar of some kind of creature that didn't naturally live on earth, as well as frightened screaming.

"I think that's our cue," Steve said with a sigh. "We'll do our best to save the civilians, and you can figure out a way to protect them. Sounds fair, Dr. Foster?"

Jane grinned at him. "I think we can do that, especially with the Aether in better containment right now." At that point, Shannon noticed the metallic looking lantern in her hand, and she looked over at the Maximoff twins, who were still eyeing Tony Stark warily. Jane looked over at the rest of them. "You have some expertise with these kinds of things, right?"

"Ah, not exactly," Wanda began uncertainly.

"We'll pick it up as we go," Pietro said confidently. "We're clever."

"Excellent," Jane chirped, still grinning. "The devices are fairly easy to understand once I explain what you need to do. The hardest part would be to put them everywhere we need to in order to destabilize the resonant frequencies here."

Pietro and Wanda smirked at each other. "I think we can handle it," he said.

"All right, speed is of the essence," Steve said with a firm nod. "Let's do what we can to lessen the damage and casualties."

He pointed off in several directions, splitting up the team to cover different areas of Greenwich. Gray was paired off with Loki again, and Shannon was told to aid Darcy in clearing out the university of all bystanders, especially when a piece of flaming rock from Muspelheim started appearing over the library spires. "Are you kidding?" Darcy huffed at Shannon. "I can see them already, live posting to Facebook and Twitter."

"Jealous?" Shannon asked with a laugh.

"Maybe," Darcy admitted. "But I'm not the type to go off running into the middle of danger, either. I'll save a puppy and set up cordons, but I think that's the limit of what I'm willing to do in the middle of this."

"Hey, someone's gotta save the puppies," Shannon said, patting her shoulder encouragingly. "So come on, let's go save these college aged puppies."

Most students didn't want to leave the library, and Jane's equipment was placed all around the city in a blur of movement or red haze. Odd birds from different planets appeared, disappeared, plummeted to the ground with frightened squawks before flying off. Cars floated in some areas, and the corner of a building appeared to melt into the sidewalk.

Once all of the pieces were placed, Jane twisted the control box in her hand. She was still carrying the lantern shaped Aether container, and it seemed to make the control box glow as well. It was the reddish cast of magic, and improved the range and power of the control. Each of the equipment pieces carried a glow as well, and all of Greenwich seemed to _shift_ just slightly out of phase, enough that the portals abruptly stopped appearing. The portals that were starting to appear overhead abruptly winked out of existence as well.

When the Convergence finished, Jane turned off the control box and the red glow suddenly faded from each of the machines. The glow around the lantern container died slowly.

"Is it wrong that it feels terribly anticlimactic?"

Most of the others groaned at Clint's comment as Natasha smacked his arm. He mockingly clutched his arm and yelped at her as she rolled her eyes, but Tony shrugged and looked around at everyone as they clustered together. "Seems like a valid question to me. The important one, though, is what to do about _that?"_ he asked, pointing to Jane's lantern. "I sincerely doubt that we have a containment unit strong enough for it, and no offense to half of you here, but I don't want SHIELD getting their hands on it."

Gray frowned at him, then outright scowled at Shannon when she nodded. "It's too dangerous for humans to hold onto."

"Says the one that gave away the scepter that Horns was hanging onto," Tony said, looking at her with a curious expression. "So you know other aliens?"

Shannon crossed her arms over her chest and leveled him with a strict and unamused expression that seemed to give him pause. "The sheer power in those things can corrupt and change humans on a fundamental level. I don't think any organization with political backing should have it. It's too easily corrupted and misused."

"That's rather cynical of you," Gray said, still scowling. "You work for SHIELD."

"And I've gotten a chance to see some of the behind the scenes attitudes not just in the psych department, but in other areas." Implicit in her tone was _and I don't want them with it._

"Well, I may have a solution, then," Thor suggested, stepping forward to take the lantern from Jane with an easygoing smile. "There is an elder of the universe that is very fond of unusual items and species, and may be able to hang onto this. The security is excellent, and it will also ensure that there aren't too many of these powerful artefacts on this planet. It's still considered a backward world by the majority of the galaxy, but there's been a little more interest in it recently," he added, sneaking a glance at Loki.

Loki steadily refused to meet his gaze. Instead, he looked over at the Maximoff twins with interest. "The magical signatures on you are strange." He squinted a bit, doing the same hand motion he had done when looking at Jane in the conference room. When he dropped his hands, there was a faint golden green glow along his palms. "Chaos magic."

Wanda lifted her chin. "And?"

"That is a very dangerous line to walk," he said quietly. "Best be careful."

Her eyes flashed even though there hadn't been any mockery in his tone. "I've been looking out for myself since I was a child. I think I can handle this." Her brother came in closer, hand on her shoulder in support as he glared at Loki as well.

"Well, you guys aren't from England," Tony began, stepping forward. "I can't believe I'm backing up Horns on this, but—"

"We've had enough of _your_ help to last several lifetimes," Pietro snarled at him.

Startled, Tony peered at them. "Have we met?"

"I know who you are," Pietro said, voice tight with pain and anger. "We know your name, all there is to know about you."

"But—"

"We were ten," he hissed, cutting off Tony, "having dinner, the four of us. When the first shell hits, two floors below, it makes a hole in the floor." He gestured with his hands, and Tony was frozen in place. "It's big. Our parents go in... and the whole building starts coming apart. I grab her," he continued, nodding at Wanda, "roll under the bed, and the second shell hits. But it doesn't go off. It just... sits there in the rubble. Three feet from our faces. And on the side of the shell is painted one word."

"Stark," Wanda said, voice empty and dead. The other Avengers had all come closer to hear, and most of them were surprised or pained to hear the words.

"We were trapped for two days," Pietro continued. "Every effort to save us, every shift in the bricks, I think, this will set it off."

"We wait for two days for Tony Stark to kill us," Wanda continued in that flat tone.

Tony looked ill. "Sokovia," he said, voice strained. "Their civil war got bad about six years ago, right before..." He turned toward Shannon, right hand over his chest. Turning back to the twins, he gave them an earnest expression. "I'm sorry. For everything that was done and everything that I should've known to stop. I didn't know then, I didn't understand it. I just designed things, I never thought about them actually in action and killing people."

"You're not forgiven!" Pietro snapped as Wanda hissed "You're not really sorry."

Looking at Shannon again with a pleading expression, his face fell when she lifted her hands up in a gesture of surrender. "I'm not speaking for you," she said.

"No, no," Tony disagreed. "I'm just glad you're here. For later. I'm sure I'll fuck up how I talk about this later in session."

The twins looked at her with growing interest, having heard about her role as a therapist for SHIELD during their discussion. Tony was already looking toward them, hands in front of him as if trying to prove he wasn't going to hurt them. "Look, I don't mean it like 'I'm sorry, let's forget this ever happened' kind of sorry. I know it looks like that on TV, but I've really been putting in the effort. Changing and growing and all that. I'm sorry it took being in a war zone to really understand it, but you don't understand something like that unless you've lived through it for yourself." Pietro's expression didn't waver, but Wanda looked at him with growing interest as well, a hand on Pietro's arm in a possessive manner.

"I mean it as 'I'm sorry I didn't try to be a better person sooner' and I mean it as 'I'm still trying to do better' when I say I'm sorry. Because I _am_ trying, and it's hard to save everyone. I've shut down the weapons development, but that just drove the black market up and then all the shoddy competitors are out there selling shit that will get everybody killed. I'm still trying to figure out what else I can do to help. What? You're kids, is it housing? Schools? Having a college fund? I don't know what you'd need."

Wanda pulled Pietro a little closer to her. "He's serious. Not a single lie."

"You can't buy your way to forgiveness."

"I'm not, I'm really not. We might've made some really massive mistakes, but we're human. We make mistakes, then we try to fix them."

Steve stepped closer to them. "Hey. It's been a really long day for all of us, and for the moment it seems safe here. Why don't we all go sit down and eat somewhere?"

"Is that a thing now? Like after New York?" Clint asked. "I can get behind that kind of routine."

Jane brightened. "Well, I can help with that one. I've been living near here for a while, I can tell you what would be a good place to get food."

"I can secure the space again, make sure no one is listening in," Gray offered.

"And the Aether will go to the Collector once we have feasted," Thor said, a relieved smile on his face as the growing tension dissipated a bit.

"Is everything about food with you?" Bruce asked Thor, brows knit slightly.

Thor laughed but Loki snorted. "At least this time I might actually get something to eat. Last time I was left bound and gagged outside."

"Last time was also your fault," Natasha pointed out.

He shrugged with an indifferent expression when the Maximoff twins stared at him. "There were extenuating circumstances."

"And isn't it so much nicer to be included this time around?" Shannon asked sweetly, pasting a smile onto her face. "I'm in the mood for sweets." She blinked at the others with an innocent expression when they turned to stare at her. "What? I happen to like cookies and cakes a little too much, especially when I'm stressed."

"In that case, I have _the best_ pastry shop to recommend," Jane said.

Darcy was nodding eagerly. "Seriously good stuff, it's addictive."

"First schwarma, now sweets," Tony said, shaking his head. "Whatever happened to a good old fashioned cheeseburger? Or pizza party?"

"Schwarma was your idea," Steve reminded him.

"As long as we get to sit down?" Dr. Selvig asked.

Darcy was the first to laugh, and then they all let Jane lead them toward her favorite pastry shop near the university.

***  
***


	11. Decompression

Besides pastries and cookies, the shop had a few sandwiches. That wasn't enough for the Avengers, so everyone piled into the neighboring bistro and practically attacked the menu with a vigor that startled the waitstaff. Wanda and Pietro were pulled along with the others, and seated at the table with Jane, Darcy and Dr. Selvig. Shannon was intending to sit with Gray when she was completely blindsided by Henry. "Thank God, you're okay!" he cried as he pulled her into a hug. She grasped him tightly, closing her eyes and inhaling deeply.

"Sorry, I didn't think I was going anywhere dangerous. This was supposed to be an office job."

Henry just tightened his grip. "You're doing your thing. It was worse for me being stuck on the plane, you know? It looked like the world was ending." He pulled back and looked closely at her in concern. "It isn't, is it?"

"Not at all. I guess I should introduce you to the others?"

Introductions were made all around, and Henry plopped down next to Shannon. His seat was next to Wanda's at the next table, and he gave her a long enough look that she and her brother stared back at him. "What?"

"You do the red magic thing," he said, sounding uncertain.

Wanda looked at him warily. "Yes."

"Is it wrong to ask if I can see what it looks like?" Shannon made a sharp noise of dismay, but he looked over her defensively. "What? You can see what magic looks like. I want to know what the real thing is, too, okay? I know movies aren't real."

When she facepalmed, Wanda actually laughed. "It doesn't frighten you?"

"I don't know. Should it?"

Picking up a hand, she curled her fingers as the scarlet wisps of energy wrapped around them. "I suppose it should. The people I grew up with called me a witch."

"I would think it would depend on what you do with it, right?" Henry said, shifting his chair a little so he could more easily look at the threads. "Shannon, this is what you see all the time?"

"If I want a migraine, sure."

"It's fascinating. Looks almost like smoke, but there's also a rhythm to it. Reminds me of electric current." He lifted a hand and looked to Wanda. "Would it shock me if I touched it?"

She shot him an amused smile and noticed how everyone else looked interested as well. "I can do many things if I wanted to. Move things, enter dreams, that kind of thing." She paused and looked at him thoughtfully. "Do you _want_ me to shock you?"

"God, no, I get enough of that if I'm careless at work. But it looks like smoke, and I want to see if it feels like it, too."

Gray looked at Shannon with a fond shake of his head. "No wonder you two are together. Get something weird in front of you, and instead of running away screaming, you want to know more about it."

Loki watched Henry's finger poke at the red swirls of energy with interest. "It's pure chaos," he murmured. "Potential energy, and can be used to do just about anything."

"Fascinating," Henry said, pulling back. "Too bad about the people calling you a witch, though. But then, if you used it like a code name? Like comic books or these superheroes."

She startled and the red haze winked out of existence. "What?"

Henry snapped his fingers and pointed at her. "Scarlet Witch," he said, pleased with himself. "Because Red Witch just sounds nasty, but Scarlet kind of classes it up a bit."

Clint leaned over in their direction from his table. "Gotta have a code name, kid," he said with a friendly smile. "Mine's Hawkeye. You already know Iron Man and Captain America."

"Thor doesn't have a code name," Jane said, giving him an awkward smile.

"Thor's kind of like a god, I don't think he needs one," Darcy chirped, waving at him with a grin and then looking over at Wanda. "You know, like a singer or movie star. Too famous for a last name, even."

Loki caught Shannon's eye and rolled his eyes as he huffed in annoyance. She stifled a laugh in response by drinking her soda.

Tony's eyes lit up with glee. "You know what? You're right. There's names for just about all of us here. You know who I am, Capsicle is Captain America," Steve shot him a displeased expression and rolled his eyes at Tony, "Thor is Thor, Black Widow and Hawkeye are on loan from SHIELD." He pointed at Gray. "You're Agent. Not _the_ Agent, his name was Phil, but an Agent just the same."

Pietro glared at Tony with such hatred that Wanda had to put a hand on his arm and redirect his attention elsewhere. Jane caught it and leaned forward toward him. "Well, do you have a special skill to get a code name from? All I know is that you were really quick getting my instruments to the right places at the right time."

"Quicksilver?" Henry offered. When everyone stared at him, he shrugged. "I'm an engineer, I think of metals and electricity."

"The scarlet was poetic," Natasha pointed out.

"Wire casing?" he shrugged with a slight wince.

It made for a good laugh, though, and Pietro nodded. "I like it." He snagged another sandwich from the platter that had been put in the middle of the table. "And I am fast."

Wanda snorted but didn't elaborate even when people were clearly looking at her to do so. She gobbled up another sandwich, almost in the manner of being starving or afraid that the food was going to disappear if she didn't eat it.

"What's our next step?" Steve asked, looking over the other tables. "Not that I'm in a rush to go back to DC, but..."

"Admit you made a mistake and come back to New York," Tony said grandly. "I have a whole floor set aside for you to stay in. You don't have to be in Brooklyn."

Steve winced. "It isn't just Brooklyn, though. Everything's changed. And I did make a friend or two down in DC. Not counting the Strike team," he added for Natasha's benefit.

She grinned at him. "Good. And did I tell you about Veronica?"

He groaned and dropped his head to the table to hide his face. "Not now, please, I'm too exhausted to think."

"I have her number," Natasha teased, nudging his shoulder with her elbow. Beside her, Clint chortled and nearly snorted his soda through his nose.

"I'd take it if Pepper wouldn't kill me," Tony said cheerfully, getting several disapproving head shakes in his direction. "Okay, okay, bad joke."

"In any case," Thor began, nodding toward the lantern in the center of the table he was sitting at, "I will be bringing this off world. That should help keep you all safer and limit exposure to your people." He looked over at Shannon and Wanda in concern as Steve picked his head up. "The exposures you had to that Scepter could have long term consequences we don't know about. The Aether caused pain and suffering, and I won't have it let loose upon this realm."

"What about us?" Pietro asked, voice a little harsh. Wanda hissed his name and tugged on his sleeve, but he shook her off. "You just drop us back in the rubble where you found us, and forget we existed?"

"I have space in the Tower," Tony offered, all traces of his joking demeanor gone. "We could enroll you in the best private schools—"

"Your help has done enough," Pietro told him, cutting him off.

"How 'bout I think of something?" Shannon offered. "I brought the Scepter to you two, it's kind of my responsibility." She turned to Tony. "My problem to fix," she clarified when the pained shock on his face hardened into his celebrity mask.

"What about your family?" Clint asked, frowning at the twins. "School, home, all that? I mean, thanks for coming out and helping fix what was going on here. But we can't just assume you're going to up and leave and come with us."

"But your family left you in the middle of a rundown building that was going to fall over!" Darcy cried. "That's neglect!" Jane shot them a sympathetic look.

"We look after ourselves," Wanda said, chin lifted in pride. "We don't need your guilt."

Shannon raised her arms to get the attention of everyone assembled at the three tables. "Let the therapist do the counseling bit, okay? That's _my_ job. You guys just do your hero thing and sign autographs or something."

Gray snorted and snagged a French fry off the platter. "And you said you weren't going to be the Avengers' therapist. Pft. You're getting drawn into this mess, like it or not."

"As long as you're not going to be like the one that told Director Fury to recreate 1942 'to make me comfortable,'" Steve said, actually making the air quotes. "I saw through it right away. Hard not to, with so many mistakes in it," he told her.

She looked at Natasha with wide eyes when the redhead nodded to affirm that. "Oh my God, where was that? Was that Bellington?" The spy mimed zipping her lips, but her eyes were alight with mirth. "What an unmitigated pompous _dick!"_

"C'mon, tell us what you really feel about him," Henry laughed, nudging her arm. "How many times did we talk about that jerk?"

"Not enough, he doesn't deserve the reputation he has, putting peoples' psyches at risk like that! There could've been brain damage! Or personality changes from head trauma!"

Steve shot her an amused smile. "I think I turned out okay."

Clint winked at the twins, who looked uncomfortable by all the references they didn't know. "She actually cares about what she does, in other words. So she'll do right by you two. I have to admit, I thought she was nuts when she said she gave the Scepter away to some kids, but you seem to be okay enough. I should've trusted her."

"We just needed to be safe," Wanda said defensively. "We weren't listened to."

"She definitely does that," Clint replied with a nod.

"There are things that I can do to help," Tony insisted. "If the building was falling apart like you say, then we can look into repairing it, getting the schools up and running there..." He didn't back down in the face of Pietro's glower. "Not knowing about the damage just means I couldn't try to fix it before. I don't know what you'd need in your country, and you're the ones that actually live there." He gave the twins a pointed expression. "I don't know how politically savvy you are, but politicians don't always know how ordinary people live."

"They're greedy and corrupt," Pietro snapped.

Tony raised his hands in a "You see?" kind of gesture. "Okay, there you go. Make up a wish list, and I can see what I can do."

"It doesn't erase the dead," Pietro hissed, making Wanda touch his arm again. He was clearly the twin that harbored the most visible anger. Wanda was more cautious about displaying hers.

"No, it doesn't," Tony told him seriously. "But we can honor them, and make sure that something like that doesn't happen again."

That at least quieted Pietro a little, and Wanda soothed his arm and murmured something in their native Sokovian. Natasha seemed to understand what they were saying, but remained silent and deliberately looked away from them. 

"I think that we technically have two teams working here, right?" Henry said in the awkward silence. "The Avengers and the SHIELD team?" At the smattering of thoughtful nods, he shrugged. "Then it sounds to me like there are things each of you can do in the cleanup. I mean, it's probably going to be more of a SHIELD thing, but those buildings that got knocked over probably could use some superhero help."

"I thought I heard some animals running loose," Darcy offered. "I'm not SHIELD, but I can definitely save puppies."

Shannon snorted and grinned at her. "Or dumbass college students trying to get pics and video for social media."

"They're just not as good as me at uploading," Darcy replied with an answering grin.

Jane nudged her with her elbow. "There's all that data to process! An actual interdimensional event, the changes in physics and gravity!"

Dr. Selvig nodded gravely. "So much to do, the papers we'll have to write..."

Gray shook his head and groaned, then looked at Loki. "Dammit. That's right. _Paperwork_ to do. I'm going to have to show you how to fill out the case report templates."

Loki looked decidedly ill. "Can't you do it?"

There were varying levels of knowing smirks around all the tables as Gray shook his head firmly. "Isn't field work fun?" Shannon tried to tell him. At his baleful expression, she sighed. "More fun than lockup?" she offered.

"Both can drive a man insane," Loki complained.

"Truer words have never been spoken," Gray agreed, then clapped him on the shoulder in a manner similar to Thor's after the battle. "Welcome to being a SHIELD agent."

Curling his lip in distaste, Loki ignored the amused snorts of the other agents.

***

The twins had opted to sit in the backseat of Shannon and Henry's rental car as they drove upstate. They had flown out of London with everyone else when Thor left for the Collector's place of business, and had kept mostly to themselves. Wanda talked to Natasha a little bit in Russian, and Pietro had taken to looking suspiciously at just about everyone. He seemed to crack jokes with Clint occasionally, and studiously ignored Tony's attempts to make nice. Wanda eyed Tony when he talked about living in New York City and having access to schools and training in whatever field they wanted, as well as helping him develop a plan to help Sokovia. Tony was sincere in his offer, though Pietro didn't trust it. Wanda clearly wanted to.

Shannon had made good on her promise to take over looking after the twins, and she had pulled them aside with Henry to discuss options. Going back to relatives in Sokovia hadn't been much of an option for them; they didn't want to stay where they weren't wanted, and had no means of supporting themselves or finding an actual apartment to live in. They hadn't even completed high school, and had spent the past year nearly homeless in the ruins of their old home. "I can take care of us. I provide," Pietro had said, proudly jutting out his jaw with challenge in his eyes. "I don't need you."

She had shrugged, not insulted in the least. "Sure. But I'm suggesting a way that would make it easier to do that."

He has less suspicion for her motives and hunkered down with her and Henry. "I'm listening."

It would be difficult to change up her schedule even more than it was already in a state of upheaval, and she frankly explained that to both of them. Henry didn't have much leeway either. "And quite frankly, neither of us are ready to be parent figures and you don't need one of those either," she continued when Pietro looked about ready to explode.

Wanda was the planner, and recognized that in Shannon. "What do you suggest?"

"Emancipate you. It's a legal thing in this country," she explained. "We get you green cards to be legal residents, declare you able to make your own decisions without a supervising adult to make them for you." Leveling a stare at Pietro, she continued "That's a legal thing, and that means we need money and a lawyer. Tony Stark has a lot of both, and you're going to use them, like it or not. I don't have that kind of money or expertise."

"He's doing it out of guilt," Pietro sneered.

"Yeah," Shannon agreed. "And isn't that better than him telling you to fuck off?"

That made the teenager blink. "What?"

"He's accepting responsibility and trying to make good. Maybe it's not how you want it or like it, but he's not blowing off your concerns and acting like an asshole, right? He's not saying you have no right to be angry with him."

"It doesn't change that it happened," Pietro replied, but some of the fire was gone from his snarl.

"No. And we all have to live with the choices that other people made."

Wanda lifted her hands and let the magic curl around them, a bright red flare between the circle of her fingers. "And this?"

"That's another thing I don't know how to help you with."

"Neither can Tony Stark."

"No. But someone somewhere has magic, and I'm sure they can teach you. I can ask Natasha if she knows of anyone in SHIELD."

"You're friends with the Black Widow?" Henry had blurted out.

"Professional colleagues," Shannon shrugged. "And this is a professional question, right?"

A little uncertainly, Wanda nodded and let the spike of magic ebb. "It's still as strong as it was before, when the Aether was around."

Shannon pointed to the yellow gem she wore as a charm around her neck that none of the others had noticed. "Your connection is stronger."

She lifted her chin in the same way Pietro had. "It's mine."

"I'm not contesting that. But I think that's why it's so easy for you. Time, practice..." She shrugged and sighed a bit. "It's going to be like every other skill, Wanda. The more you use it, the easier it's going to be for you. I don't know how that works, I just see it." Henry rubbed her back a bit, right between the shoulder blades, and she leaned into his touch. "If there's someone that knows how to train it up, how to use it, that would be useful for you. So you feel more in control of the skill."

"You don't think me a monster."

"Of course not!" Shannon replied, shooting her an incredulous look. "This is a talent. A weird talent that most don't have, sure, but it's still a talent."

"It's a lot different from skating or playing piano, though," Henry offered.

Wanda let out a startled laugh. "Okay, I see what you mean."

"And me?" Pietro insisted, not wanting to be left out.

"How do they speed train runners?" Henry asked, pulling out his phone to look it up. "You probably need a track, right?"

"Oh, God," Shannon cried, looking at them with wide eyes. "You'd blow everyone out of the water if you did high school track."

"No way, don't subject them to high school!" Henry protested, shaking his head.

"I had a fine time in high school," Shannon told him, as Wanda and Pietro's gazes ping ponged between them.

"I'm a science geek, I was bullied mercilessly," Henry told them. "Don't even go. Get a GED or something. Maybe online school?"

"You guys need friends! And a place to live and a chance to have a normal life," Shannon protested, shaking her head. "As normal as you can, anyway. Staying isolated in a brand new country isn't any better than hanging out in ruined buildings."

"Where would we even stay?" Wanda asked, a slight warble to her voice.

That had turned out to be an easy question to answer. Gina's girlfriend hadn't wanted to move in right away, afraid that their relationship was moving too fast. They still saw each other often, but Melody had wanted to wait until the lease on her apartment was up. She had nine months left on it, and the two months left on Shannon's old room hadn't been filled by anyone else yet.

Gina opened the door with a wide grin. "Hey! C'mon in."

"Thanks so much for helping out," Shannon said, giving Gina a huge hug.

"Dude, this means you _have_ to visit more often, right?" she said brightly before moving to give Henry a hug as well.

"It's going to be tough with blocking out time and booking flights," Shannon began.

"I can make portals," Wanda piped up.

Turning around, Gina stared at her with wide eyes. "Say what?" 

Wanda wiggled her fingers and let the magic curl around them. "I have this."

"Oh, shit, yeah, you're not going to regular high school," Gina blurted, shaking her head, eyes still wide. "You're gonna kill all the dumbasses in there."

Henry and Shannon snickered but Wanda looked a little hurt by the comment. Gina caught it and rushed forward to grasp her hands. "Sorry, sorry, I kind of run my mouth a little when I get nervous. There was a lot of magic stuff here last year and Shannon kinda got disappeared in the middle of it, right? And let's face it, standard high school kids are dumb and full of drama."

"Like the science department is any different," Shannon teased.

Laughing, Gina nodded. "Okay, point." She gave Wanda's hands a gentle tug and led them to the living room. "Shannon was nice enough to pay up ahead of time, so her room is yours. We can probably buy bunk beds or something so you can share, if you don't mind that. Or one of you stays upstairs one of you sleeps here. The couch is comfy," she said, gesturing toward it, "and that just means I won't come in like a giggly mess at three am."

"I think we'll share," Wanda said, a little uncertainly. She bit her lip and looked over at Pietro, who nodded. "We haven't been apart since our parents died."

Gina's expression at once slid into one of sympathy as she took in the twins. "Oh, no wonder you needed a place to stay!" She looked over at Shannon in concern. "D'you think my Mom and Grandma would smother them?"

"Hells yes," Shannon said. "They're overwhelming even when they aren't trying to be."

"What are you talking about?" Pietro demanded.

"My family is so stereotypically Italian, it's not funny," Gina told them. "If I ask them for help in getting you guys stuff, they're going to practically adopt you into the family."

Something shifted in Wanda's eyes, a slight red shine as she looked at Gina and then reached out to Pietro. "I like them."

Pietro looked at her, hostility draining away. "Are you sure?"

"I see them through her," she murmured, the red in her eyes growing brighter. "And the threads of future that I see are more alike than different."

Looking between the two and then at Shannon, Gina shot her a Look. "You. Never a dull moment around you, and you don't even live here anymore!"

"Blame SHIELD," Shannon told her seriously.

"I do," Henry admitted. "My life is a lot calmer now that I don't do contract work for them anymore," he said with a shrug. "Benefits aren't as good, but it's a lot less stress trying to figure out what I am and am not allowed to talk about."

Gina nodded thoughtfully and then turned back to Wanda. "This is probably so wrong of me to ask, but..." A cheeky grin spread across her face. "Think you can predict what the lotto numbers are going to be? Then you can totally afford to live here indefinitely."

The startled giggles wiped the red out of her eyes, but Wanda could only grin at her. "I think we can figure something out, yes?"

Shannon and Henry exchanged pleased expressions. Now that the living space for Wanda and Pietro was determined, it would only be a matter of time for the rest of their lives to fall into place. They had just needed somewhere to belong.

***  
***


	12. Give What You LIke

Loki hadn't been sure if he would have his regular session on time or not, but arrived at Shannon's office a few minutes early and knocked. Usually she had her door open and would walk out to see if he was sitting on the chairs outside in the waiting area, but today it was shut and he couldn't sense any noise coming from the other side.

He stood, feeling anxiety build in his gut as there was no response. This wasn't normal. This wasn't ordinary. The portals should have been gone, so why wasn't she responding—

"You arrived early!" came a startled squeak behind him. Whirling around, he could see Shannon hurrying into the office suite carrying a stack of papers that distinctly did _not_ look like charts to be filed. "I'm sorry, my other meeting ran over."

"I was the early one, you don't have to apologize." The door was locked, but he used a tendril of his magic to trip the levers inside the locking mechanism and open the door for her. "If it would be better to reschedule..."

"Absolutely not. All of this can wait until later," Shannon said firmly, just as he hoped she would. "Since you're opening doors that are _supposed_ to be locked, you can get the lights, too."

The curl to her lips indicated that she wasn't really irritated with him, so he flicked on the lights with the same tendril of magic. "Perhaps I was a bit overeager to use this magic again."

"Showoff," Shannon said, a fond note in her voice as she smiled and then put the stack of papers on her desk. It was the opposite side from where he would have sat, and seemed to be where she tended to pile up charts and other paperwork that she would have to do.

"We're going to have to _process_ the Convergence, yes?" he offered, plopping down into his usual seat and closing her door with a negligent wave.

"Especially if your mother is planning to visit Earth," Shannon agreed, sitting down herself.

Loki froze in place. "Visiting Earth for what purpose?"

"I'm not privy to those conversations," Shannon told him with an apologetic note. The sympathy in her eyes burned but was comforting at the same time. "But I know she's planning on a visit because Jane had said something about it before I left London."

He worried his lower lip between his teeth. "I don't know how I feel about this," he admitted finally. "At least she doesn't blame me for a natural event."

"Do you want to see her?" Shannon asked quietly.

It would have been easy to rail at her delicate tone, the concern on her face. He could have thrown her pity back at her. He could have denied even having feelings about Frigga, again repudiated even being her son.

He could do all those things, but it wouldn't hurt any less.

Worrying at his lip again, Loki could taste blood. "Part of me does," he said finally, touching the sore spot on the inside of his lip with the tip of his tongue. The taste of his own blood was sharp and too familiar, and he almost wanted to pull his legs up onto the chair and hug them to his chest. It was a vulnerability he didn't like exposing, even to Shannon, even though he knew she was fragile herself and would never use it against him.

"And the rest of you is still angry with her," Shannon said, likely oblivious to his inner turmoil. No, not oblivious, she wanted to know, she wanted to care, but part of him simply didn't want to let her. What if she disappointed him just as badly as Frigga had?

"You want me to forgive her," Loki said, voice flat.

If she was disappointed with the deflection, she didn't show it. "Forgiveness is only something that you can give, if you think she's earned it. My personal default is for families to stay together, but if it doesn't work for you, I don't want you to do that."

Oh. That was a bit of a difference in wording than the other go-arounds they'd done.

Leaning back in his chair, Loki pondered that difference. It wasn't that she had lied before, he knew that. Perhaps he hadn't noticed the nuance.

What the hell. He drew his knees up and held them to his chest. He was a smaller, less visible target for inspection, and the pressure against his chest felt comforting. That was one aspect of his armor he missed sometimes; mortal suits or even SHIELD issue uniforms didn't feel heavy enough, didn't ground him the same way that treated leather did.

"Do you want her to apologize?" Shannon asked after a few minutes of silence.

"It might be a start. But I don't know if that would help. It's me, isn't it? The wrong one? She's the Allmother, it's supposed to be me that's wrong."

"You're not wrong to be upset if you're treated badly. The wrong part is how you deal with it."

Making a dismissive noise, Loki shook his head. "We know I deal with things badly."

"Remember the homework? Your coping cards—"

Loki groaned and dropped his forehead to his knees. "I didn't bring them."

"Why not?"

"I forgot."

"Loki," she began in a chiding tone.

"No, really, I did!" he blurted, raising his head to look at her intently. "I didn't think you would be here. And then your door was shut, and I couldn't hear anything..." His voice trailed off and he pulled a face. "By the Tree, I sound like a blithering child."

"You sound like someone that needed reassurance," she corrected. "That the things important to you won't change when everything else around you does."

He let out a slow breath. "Perhaps. I didn't think of it that way. I just thought... Those children. You said you'd take care of them. That it was your place to fix that wrong. The others, the Avengers, all have issues to deal with, and they want you as their doctor." Loki swallowed and let his gaze drop. He couldn't meet her eyes, the knot in his throat was difficult enough to deal with without the intensity of her gaze added on top of it. "I did them, of course I did, but they're on my desk because I forgot them."

Shannon had a bright expression on her face. "Oh. So then we can discuss the contents of the cards. Or, given that you have magic now..." She wiggled her fingers and was grinning at him in an almost conspiratorial way. "If it makes you feel better to have them in front of you to discuss, then I will certainly allow you to make them appear."

The knot in his chest didn't ease. She didn't address the first part of his panic. "The others?" he prompted her. "They want you to care for them, too."

"Caring isn't finite," she told him firmly. "It's not a pie, and everyone else gets a smaller and smaller piece to go around. I have my schedule, and I have my responsibilities, and I will get them done. We've gone over this."

"If you work with them—"

"I couldn't discuss particulars with you," she said. It was that firm tone, and her serious expression was actually comforting to see. "Your own therapy won't be compromised, if that's what you're concerned with. But I would not discuss any of their issues with you. Or vice versa," she added.

Loki nodded, a gesture made a little awkward by his chin hitting his knees. "I suppose that helps," he admitted. He wrinkled his nose. "But _Thor."_

"You seemed to get along with him afterward."

He opened his mouth, then closed it and sighed. "It was not terrible," he said finally. "I thought I would still be angry with him. That he would be all blustery, still ordering me about as if my thoughts didn't matter." Pulling his knees tighter to his chest, Loki sighed again. "It was almost fun again. Almost comforting."

"You're afraid it won't last," Shannon guessed. Accurately, too, but he couldn't be angry with her for that. It was her job, after all.

Instead of answering, he sighed again. "It must. I am the evil one, after all. And the golden son of Asgard can't associate with evil."

"You're going back to absolutes," Shannon pointed out.

Loki heaved a sigh. "Those damn exercises."

"But they help you."

"They help," he agreed with another sigh. "I'm so tired of dealing with this. I can't handle the thought of deciding anything about Frigga. Can't you decide for me?"

"That doesn't help you in the long run."

"It would help me _now."_

"But you don't even have to make this decision now." Shannon drummed her fingers on her desk and looked at him with a thoughtful expression. "Or are you afraid that you have to do something now, else SHIELD will regret the time and effort so far?"

His eyes skittered away, not before she could see a suspicious shine to them. "That's what she said, you know. That I should be _grateful._ That I should be _useful._ That I should be thankful that the worst hasn't come to pass," he spat out bitterly. At her faintly questioning expression, he remembered that he didn't actually tell her what happened at the meeting when she had removed the braces from his wrists.

Loki lifted his wrists. "When she unbound me, removing those cuffs from my wrists." His breath was a ragged and pained intake, then a hiss outward as he blinked rapidly. "I didn't get a chance to tell you, and it was wrong to say so in London."

She nodded thoughtfully and folded her hands onto her desk. "So you're supposed to be beholden to someone else, then. It's like she didn't trust you to act under your own accord."

"Feels that way, yes."

Hugging his knees to his chest tightly again, he watched her think. It was rather fascinating to watch as her focus shifted slightly, gaze partly inward and partly outward watching him. Did he look like that to others? Perhaps with a more menacing demeanor, of course, but perhaps his scheming expression was similar.

"It seems like you're expected to be whatever other people want you to be."

Nodding, chin knocking into his knees, Loki kept his eyes fixed on her. "Sometimes it even feels that way with you, even though you always tell me you expect nothing but hard work."

"Because I expect that from you, and sometimes it's hard to do it."

He nodded again. "Sometimes it feels impossible," he admitted in a small voice.

"So why do you insist on holding to this impossibly high standard?"

"I was always expected to be great. To do great things. To push the limits of learning and magic, to be the role model for the people."

"Now we're talking about Frigga again."

"It's always there, is it not? I can easily dismiss hurts from Odin, it doesn't matter what he thinks of me any longer. It is clear he cannot stand to even think of me, let alone look at me. He said my fate was to die, after all. That's what he wants of me."

Shannon clucked her tongue against the roof of her mouth, likely wanting to disagree. She didn't say anything, thank the Tree and the Void and all of the Nine Realms. "We focus on Frigga, and her perception of you. Or rather, your perception of her perception of you. When she clearly doesn't understand why her actions hurt you so much."

"She is the Allmother," Loki sighed.

"And all mothers want the best for their children," Shannon murmured. "She wants the best for you and wants you to be the best. But it seems almost toxic for you right now. Why hold yourself to those standards?"

"I cannot be the monster any longer," Loki said, fingers biting into his knees to keep from shaking. "There are worse in the dark. I know this. I cannot approach the heartless tyranny that they do, I wish I could. For a moment, I thought I could, maybe take the chaos magic out of that girl and use it as my own, bring all of Asgard and the other realms down like the monster that they thought of me, that I _wanted them_ to think of me." Another ragged breath, and he shut his eyes. "But then I thought of how much it would hurt that girl to rip the magic out, because it's grown into her and I know what it's like to lose it now. And I saw those creatures still living on Svartalfheim and Alfheim, and the shadows on Jotunheim that meant something still lived there in the ice." His voice broke. "And I couldn't do it. I couldn't kill the things that I saw there, I couldn't instill the suffering I feel in others."

Instead of crowing in victory and he almost thought she would, Shannon unfolded her hands and reached across her desk for him. "So why does it hurt to realize that?" she asked quietly.

"They're wrong about me," Loki whispered, shaking his head. "They're wrong, they're wrong, I'm not what they say I am."

"And if they were wrong about that, what else were they wrong about?" He nodded, a skittering jerk of his head that had his jaw knock painfully into his knees. It was a welcome kind of hurt, because he deserved that, didn't he? If he was the bad one, he deserved to hurt.

And if he wasn't the bad one, if he was merely someone that made mistakes as Shannon insisted that he was, then...

"You can still love her, Loki," Shannon continued in a soft voice, as if he didn't know that. It helped to hear, but it hurt, too. "You can be upset with her for mishandling you. You can be upset that she pushed you away. But she was doing her best, and her best wasn't what you needed. I think she loves you, but she doesn't understand you."

He turned to her, lips bitten and tears in his eyes. "What if she does? And she's afraid of me? If I really am the monster? I couldn't do it this time, but I did before."

"When you didn't see them. When they were numbers and not feeling creatures. When it was an idea, and it didn't seem real. You couldn't do that this time because it was real to you. You could see the consequences of your actions."

"She raised me to be a king, and I wanted to be like the kings of legend."

"Hate to break it to you, Loki, but you're not like those kings of legend," Shannon said, that burning sympathy in her tone. "You're your own man, like it or not. You can't fit those legends, and you'll only break yourself if you try."

_You can't fit those legends._ It felt like failure, like he wasn't trying hard enough to fit in, like he would forever be an outcast if he couldn't.

"So don't you think you should create a legend of your own?" Shannon continued.

Loki lifted his head up, lips parted. "What?"

"True, our Norse versions of Loki aren't the same as you," Shannon said thoughtfully, hand still outstretched toward him. "But they didn't always call him the God of Lies or the God of Mischief, you know." Something burned in Loki's chest, not as painful as before, but it was an almost unfamiliar warmth.

"What else did they say?" Loki asked, voice scratchy sounding to his own ears.

"He was also the God of Stories," Shannon told him, the corners of her mouth quirking up a little the corners. Not quite a smile, but encouraging him just the same. "Don't you think maybe you should write yourself a new story? Don't push yourself to meet their standards. Isn't it about damn time you wrote your own?"

It was almost like flipping a switch. The odd warmth in his chest seemed to bloom, and he let his feet fall to the floor. "Oh."

"You didn't think of that?"

"No," he said in a small voice. "I was concerned with the stories they told of me."

"And we can agree that they don't know you very well. Especially not now."

She constantly thought the best of him, thought he was changing and capable of more than the atrocities he had already committed. He wasn't sure if he deserved that kind of optimism.

No, he was sure he didn't. But he could take it, anyway.

Reaching across the desk, Loki grasped her hand tightly. It didn't matter if that was an act of desperation, she already knew the worst of him and still didn't judge. Her damned optimism, but as she always said, she had plenty to spare for him. It wasn't an act on her part, but Loki did sometimes wonder if he was having her on. He knew the kind of things to say that she would be pleased with, and he knew all about the homework and exercises and things that she expected him to do. If anything, her expectations of him were frighteningly simple compared to that of the SHIELD agents. Her directions were too easy to complete, and if he really wanted to he knew he could manipulate her. At the same time, he didn't want to hurt her. She was mortal, and one of the few champions he had on this realm. 

"Big thoughts there, huh?" she asked, mouth quirking up a bit. "Trying to figure out what kind of story you're going to tell about yourself?"

Loki blinked, and his ponderous thoughts didn't feel so heavy. This was what she meant. He _could_ do so many things to harm others. The capacity was there, certainly, and it was a lingering temptation in the back of his mind. But he didn't have to, often didn't want to, and it all came down to a matter of choices.

"There is a lot to consider," Loki said finally, nodding. "But one thing I am aware of is that I need to talk with the Allmother. Whatever she says, I need to know what it is in order to counter it. I won't be the monster she makes of me, only the monster I make of myself."

"And if need be," Shannon said quietly, "I'll be here to pick up the pieces."

Loki was certainly grateful for that, and accepted the offer.

***

"Why did this have to happen? I mean, I know it's kinda inevitable, it's nothing I can control, but I still feel like I should've done something more."

"What could you have done?"

Tony blew out a breath and stared at Shannon. "I don't know, that's the thing. But I still feel like I should've done more. I should've figured it out, helped in some way."

"What role did you play in the whole thing?"

"Um... I'm the billionaire playboy philanthropist. I'm not the team player. I don't make the sacrifice play."

"But you did."

He banged his hand flat down on the desk between them. "I didn't think I was coming back. I didn't expect it. He did the same fucking thing, and he's hailed as a hero. But me? Nothing. I'm just left with nightmares and panic attacks. He just bounces off."

Shannon frowned at him. "Wait a moment. I'm confused. Who are we talking about right now?"

"Steve. Steve 'Perfection In A Bottle' Rogers."

"Ah. The Valkyrie lost in the ice."

"My father spent decades trying to find him. Kept hailing him as the ultimate hero, the standard of humanity. How do you measure up against that? Doesn't matter being the youngest kid at MIT. Doesn't matter how many projects or postdocs or inventions I get. It's just not enough."

"By anyone else's standards it's more than enough. I don't know much about him, but Steve Rogers doesn't _look_ like he'd judge you by those standards."

"And that perfect bastard might not," Tony grumbled, "but I still feel it. I still know it's there."

"Who set those terms? Certainly not Steve Rogers."

Tony blew out a breath. "My old man knew him. So I tried to be like him. Maybe he'd be interested. Maybe he'd be a dad. But every project was more important. Every invention was more important."

"You're brilliant, Tony," Shannon murmured. "That's no exaggeration. Your mind is creative in brilliant ways, putting together puzzle pieces the rest of us wouldn't even know are there." She paused, tilting her head slightly in a thoughtful manner. "If someone else was like that, had those skills, what would you tell them?"

Leaning back in his chair, Tony folded his hands over his stomach, a pained expression on his face. "I know what you're doing."

"So?" she challenged.

"I tried doing something like that for myself."

"And?"

"I couldn't do it. All I see is Howard's disappointed face and my mother clearly wishing we could get along." He paused and shot her a pained look. "I thought maybe it was why they never had more kids. Something in them just broke, and it was me."

Shannon reached across her desk after tossing down her pen and clearly expected Tony to grasp her hands in turn. "How accurate is that?" she asked gently. "Not what you feel, not what you _know._ Objective truth."

Tony's laughter was harsh, but he grasped her hands and didn't let go. "Objective? There's no such thing."

"We're not going to argue philosophy, Tony," she chided gently. "But this is a thought that's grown feelings since childhood and you've accepted it as truth. But is it really?"

"My old man thought it was."

"But _you?"_

"It's not..." He looked down at their hands. "It isn't..." He looked up, his expression strained. "Those kids think the same way. I'm dangerous, don't you know that?"

"Not to me. Not to Pepper. Not to Rhodey. Not to all the New Yorkers you've saved. Not to the world at large."

"What if all this isn't enough?"

"Then what would be?"

Tony sighed. "What if nothing is?"

"Then we have to make our own meaning, and what Howard thought of you won't matter."

The stricken expression on Tony's face was painful to look at. "But... I..."

"Our measure should be the worth we see in ourselves. The good we can do, the choices that we make." She squeezed his hands.

"I could be the smartest man alive and not feel it," Tony admitted slowly. "So maybe therapy is a mistake after all."

"Who'd you learn this from?"

"Huh?"

"That feelings don't matter? That there's no worth in it?"

"Well..." His expression hardened a bit and he pulled his hands away from her. "There's the obvious, of course."

"You can say it," Shannon prompted.

_"You_ can say it, you have a great dad, I'll bet."

"Mine can't really talk thanks to his stroke," Shannon told him evenly, no change in her facial expression, "so I don't know about that."

Tony sucked in a breath. "God. I am such an asshole."

"And we both know who you learned it from."

He crossed his arms over his chest, leaning in his chair away from her. "Why are you pushing that so hard?"

"Why are you holding onto it so hard?"

Jaw firm, Tony refused to answer.

"We form our picture of the world when we're young. His standards, internalized and become your own. It's an impossible standard, one that sets you up to fail, even if you succeed at it. Because you'll always be second best. You'll always doubt you're good enough. And then you'll always feel like a failure even if you're the best, even if you never failed."

He clenched and unclenched his jaw, but didn't look away. He didn't speak either.

"What would it mean to let go of this idea? Why is it so important to you?"

"Why does it even matter?"

"Why are you resisting it? Everything else, you have a glib answer. Today you're pushing back so hard again. Did you have to be hailed as a hero? Is that it?"

"I'm not a hero," Tony snapped, glaring at her. "Clearly. You saw that. I can extend a hand, it gets slapped away. I can do whatever is expected, _more_ than expected, and it's not good enough. It's never going to be good enough."

"Would you accept it if someone told you that you were good enough? That you're the smartest man in the room. You're generous in your donations. You take the inventions of the brain trust in your company and you try to find outlets for the everyday person to use, not just you. You give and you give and you give. You're not just some trust fund baby that's a self centered ass, there's more to you than that. So why hide that?"

Tony sat there, fists clenched in his lap. "I shouldn't have come back."

"But you did," Shannon said, looking at him without pity. "So some part of you wants to figure out why you're holding onto this so tightly. Some part of you wants the answer, even if the rest of you is freaking out right now."

The tension was clear to see, and his eyes skittered away from hers. "You're not usually like this. You're softer. You don't beat me over the head with it all."

"But you're not disagreeing with me, so some part of it is right."

It was almost as if he had wanted to say _something,_ and that assertion was enough to break the floodgates. "You know what? No, you're not. Because it's not about appeasing the old man, okay? If he never had a good word to say about me in person, there's no point in trying to make a dead man happy. Nothing he ever said was kind about me until I found it in a video when I was fucking dying. I don't even know if he really meant it, okay? Nothing is real then. There's no way to prove I'm just as good as Captain Fucking America, that the real kid in front of him was worth a dozen of his inventions, that the man he expected to take care of the company for him was interested in trying to kill me, and hated his guts. That my mother would rather retreat into a bottle than stay to calm us down if we screamed at each other. You're _not_ right, and you _don't_ know, and it's not worth it to peel back the mask!"

Silence descended, tense and thick. Shannon didn't break eye contact, and sat in the discomfort with him as his breathing gradually slowed.

"We give away pieces of ourselves sometimes," Shannon said quietly. He flinched, and his eyes skittered away from her again. "Sometimes for good reasons, sometimes not. I don't know him, only your stories of him, and they're filtered through a lot of hurt and pain. Maybe he gave away too many pieces of himself before you came along so he didn't have enough for you. Maybe he had no idea what he was doing, and thought you would be better with distance. Maybe he thought he was useless, and you were better off without him."

Tony remained silent, not looking at her when she paused.

"I wonder if you hold on so tightly to those comparisons he had because they're all he was able to give you. For good or bad, that was all you had. And if you let go of them, you let go of him. And you're not ready to do that."

His eyes slid back across her face, then away. "You're probably not wrong," he admitted after a moment, voice hoarse. "Sorry for yelling."

"Are you really?" she asked. "Looked like you needed that."

"Maybe," he admitted, looking down at his balled fists. "There's a lot in my head."

"I'm sure we've only touched on a teeny portion of it. But the panic attacks haven't been as frequent as before right?" Tony shrugged. "And at least right now, I saw you were doing the breathing exercise without me prompting it."

He snorted. "Are you really this easy to please?"

"I'm used to working with what I can get," Shannon admitted with a shrug. "So if that's all that you can give me, I will build on that."

"I still get nightmares. And I'm sure I have a lot more nightmare fodder right now." Forcing his hands open, Tony looked up at her with an almost bleak expression. "It wasn't supposed to be this way. I saw the proposals in SHEILD files, we were supposed to just protect the world. We weren't supposed to be the ones at risk."

"If something is an Avengers-level threat, you're the one putting yourself out there on the front line. No one expects it, no one wants it, but it's a possibility."

"I wasn't expecting to give that much of me," Tony murmured. "I don't know if I can keep that up. I'm a man in a suit. It's a flying tin can. Wormholes and aliens and physics-breaking powers that defy explanation..."

"O Brave New World that has such things in it," Shannon replied, sure she was mangling the quote a bit. At his bemused expression, she shrugged. "Shakespeare. Seemed appropriate."

"Or Huxley's 'Brave New World.' Also appropriate. Because we're heading to a world I don't know if I recognize."

"Then let me help you figure out how to shift it to a different one."

Tony blew out a breath, tension bleeding out of him. "I don't have any other brilliant plans at the moment, that's just about as good a one as any."

***  
***


	13. Nowhere Left To Hide

Frigga swept into the room in a flurry of green and turquoise silken skirts, gold and pearls woven into the fabric. Her hair was curled up into ringlets pinned to the top of her head with jeweled pins, leaving her neck exposed. Loki was in the conference room already seated, dressed in a black suit and green shirt, no tie or adornment. Shannon and Gray were nearby, hanging back so that they wouldn't be interrupting anything.

"Loki," Frigga murmured, the corners of her mouth turned up into a smile. She inclined her head as she looked at him, his hands folded neatly in front of him and expression carefully blank. "I am so glad to see you."

"Yes. I see that," Loki replied, voice flat.

"I suppose I should sit?"

"They generally like to do that for meetings."

She didn't respond to his stiff wording and rigid posture, but pulled out a chair across from him and delicately sat down. Mirroring his folded hands, Frigga positioned herself in a similar pose and looked at him eagerly. "The Convergence has finished, and I hear tell that you played a starring role in this."

"It's a natural phenomena. It would have passed on its own," he replied stiffly.

The flash of annoyance was clearly visible for everyone to see. "You're being deliberate with this, Loki."

"What do you want of me? You accuse me of what I had nothing to do with, remind me that I am beholden to everyone else, and that I have no right to a sense of self. Now you want me to smile and pretend none of it was said?"

Frigga's spine straightened a bit, aware of the two SHIELD personnel staring at her. "Perhaps the words were harsh, but they were meant well."

"Were they?" Loki asked, expression still blank. His eyes, however, flashed with anger. "Or did you wish to erase the monster you couldn't stand to see?"

Now her expression was one of naked hurt and shock. "I never saw you that way, Loki, never. I don't know why you call yourself that. You're my son." She reached across the table, even though she would barely be able to touch him if he reached out to her.

Loki recoiled from even the possibility of touch, pressing himself into the chair as if he could dissolve into it. "That had to be hidden. That had to be lied to. And about."

"We never wanted you to feel different. You're part of our family, Loki. You always were, always will be. Yes, you had to be punished for the atrocities you committed, but you are still part of our family."

He swallowed, eyes never leaving her face. "Are others held to such lofty goals as I am held to? If others seek annihilation, they aren't treated so harshly."

"You mean Thor."

"Being sent to another realm and without his strength is hardly the same as being locked away from everyone. In this realm, solitary confinement is considered torture. Did you know that?" Frigga blanched, her hand pulling back and away from him slightly. Loki didn't press himself so tightly to the chair in response. "And then sent here. To be locked in a glass box, poked and prodded, and to be put to whatever task the mortals would have me suffer through."

"Your weregild—"

"I was lucky, in that they would not wish me harm. But if they had, I would have been powerless to stop them. It would have fallen under the aegis of the weregild I was to repay. They could have extracted it in blood. Have you thought of that? That my life could have been forfeit in such a plan? Or was that the idea the Allfather had from the start?"

"No, Loki," Frigga said, shaking her head, eyes wide with horror. She gripped the table with a white knuckled grip. "That was never—"

"He said my birthright was to die," he told her blandly. "Weren't you aware?"

Now it was her turn to swallow thickly, jaw trembling. "You have always been mine. My son," she said, voice shaking.

"Are you still considering me such?"

The entire room seemed to hold its collective breath.

Frigga gave him a watery smile, lips twisting as she tried to smile through gathering tears. "I never stopped, Loki. For all I despaired of your choices, for all I hoped you would be better than what you did, you have always been my son. That never changed. I would never disavow being your mother, never."

"Yet I was still imprisoned. You never pointed out the plans I had for Asgard when I _did_ rule in Odin's stead. You didn't point out the good I did, and the absence of that was still telling, was it not?"

Her hands fluttered, and Shannon sharply said "Stop that!" while glaring at her. Loki glanced from Shannon's irritated and fiercely protective look, then at Frigga, whose hands froze in place and her lips were parted in surprise. And was that guilt in her eyes?

"You would cast on me," Loki whispered, feeling a chill creep into his bones. When Frigga didn't deny it, he pushed back from the table abruptly.

"Wait, Loki!" Frigga cried, a desperate edge to her voice. She had risen as she spoke, and reached out for him even though she couldn't physically reach him across the table. "It was to soothe you. A calming sigil."

"Without asking me," he said, voice shaking, unable to look at her.

"I have done so many of those throughout the years for you, now you object?"

Loki stared at her. "How much of me have you changed? How much of me is what originally was me, and what is your invention?" He kept his hands clenched at his sides, spine rigid as he faced her across the table.

"You are yourself, I promise you," she said, hands slowly coming back to her sides. "It was only the calming sigil. To soothe you. As I did when you were a child."

"Why is it always me that's wrong?" Loki asked tightly, lips pressed together and nearly turning white. "Why is it never you? Why can't you make a mistake?"

"Would you listen to me if I was wrong?" Frigga asked gently, voice breaking at the end. "You always needed me to be strong, to be the guiding force for you. When your emotions were out of control as a child, you needed me to be calm." She gave him an earnest expression and stayed very still. "If I am wrong, what will happen to you?"

Something in his expression crumpled. "Then I have to grow up."

Her almost stricken look said more than words could. "Loki..."

"Perhaps not as obvious as Odin's need for baubles to lock away," he said, voice ragged, "but I was a prize of a different sort, wasn't I? The child that could do actual magic. The child of your heart, not of blood, so you had to keep me close."

"No," she cried, swiftly moving around the conference table to approach him. "It isn't that at all, I promise you. You were a child, an innocent baby left abandoned. It was never about being a prize to me, it was that you needed a mother and I needed a child." She closed the distance between them, even after he tried to step back, and cupped his face in her hands. She refused to let him look away from her or pull back. "Yes, I was pleased when you held the gift of magic, that you were the child foretold to me. I did teach you some of what I knew, I did push you to learn more. I tried to temper the frustration when it didn't work right away, because you never did learn how to handle your anger."

"This isn't—"

"Wait," Frigga said firmly. "I am not an easy teacher to have, and I may have made things more difficult for you than I should have. For that, I am sorry. Maybe I wasn't mother enough. Maybe I was too much the queen and Allmother than _your_ mother. For that, I am sorry. I don't know how else I could have been, I don't know how else to be now. I don't know what else to do, or how to make it clear to you what my intentions are other than to simply say them now. I don't know how to make you _listen,_ to hear the subtleties in what I try to tell you." She leaned forward and touched her forehead to his. "You are so clever, Loki, but there are some things you simply insist on not seeing. This is why the _spá_ eludes you."

Loki's fists had unclenched as she spoke, and the breath came out of him in a rush. "Is that my failing too?" he asked, voice hoarse.

"As your teacher, it is mine." She gave him a sad smile and let her hands drop from his face, eyes shining. "As your mother, I am proud for you just the same. Your skill with the _seiðr_ had fooled even me on occasion, and I am sure that your rune work remains excellent."

"Why can't you just _say—"_

"I am a queen, Loki," Frigga said gently, grasping his arm. "First and foremost, that is what I am to be. Next a teacher, and mother last of all. Both for you and for Thor, but he doesn't express any sadness from that as you do."

"He doesn't think," Loki said, though there was no heat behind it. Shannon still clucked her tongue reprovingly, but all he did was shrug in response.

Frigga brushed his sleeve, then reached up and stroked his hair, making sure to keep it tucked it behind his ears. "I was raised by witches, you know this. Many sought to bar me from the throne and your father."

"He's not—"

"Hush. For good or ill, we raised you. He is your father, I am your mother. If not by blood, then by bond, which I refuse to give up."

Loki sucked in a breath, and his eyes raked across her expression. "You should."

"I would never."

"But if it's as dire as you hint it was..."

"When we were young," she said. It was easy to hear the resignation in her tone. "It's easy to try to flaunt convention when young and foolish, but ultimately, when your father took the throne, he needed to do what had to be done. He needed stability, by any means necessary." Her gaze skittered away from his, and she smoothed the same section again, her lips trembling. "So it all came down to tradition, and formalities were adhered to. Sometimes to do the thing that must be done, you have to cut away pieces of yourself."

"Mother?" Loki prompted when she remained silent.

Her gaze snapped back to his and she flashed him a watery smile. "I'm sorry if I cut away too many pieces. I'm sorry I couldn't be who you needed me to be."

The fight and stiffness in Loki melted completely as he grasped her in a tight hug, burying his face in the crook of her neck. He wasn't crying, but it was a near thing. She held him just as tightly, tears silently sliding down her cheeks as her eyes closed.

"Why now?" he asked, voice muffled against her dress. "How can you say this to me now?"

"Distance perhaps," she murmured, then impulsively pressed a kiss to his head. That act seemed to startle her a bit, because her eyes opened. "I stayed in my library in the palace, and did nothing but think on the things you said when I was last here. And what Thor said upon his return. And how you were when I took away the geasa." She refused to let him go when he tried to pull back from the hug. "All I could think was that I could have stopped this. If I listened to the words I was told from the beginning, if I looked more closely into your _spá,_ if I had done something else when your father fell into the Odinsleep..."

"You can't change my origins. You can't change my actions."

"If you didn't feel so alone, would it have been so dire?"

Loki kept his eyes closed and made a soft humming sound. "He's weaker now because he couldn't complete the Odinsleep. Because of me, too."

"If it is difficult for me to speak on things, it's worse for him."

He kept his arms around her, as if afraid she would disappear if he let go. "But you can."

"I listen." She rubbed his back in a soothing manner. "I should have done that sooner."

"Why did you start now?"

"Did you know about the _blótspán?"_

Now he pulled away to look at her, but he kept his hands grasping her arms. "That sounds bad."

"It could have been, if your path went down that way." 

"Sorry, nonmagical people in the back," Shannon called out, raising her hand like a student in a classroom. "What's that?"

"It's a specific kind of scrying spell for the future. Cast using blood and the runestones, so that I might see far enough ahead to see what fate has in store." Frigga disentangled herself from her son gently but firmly at his cry of dismay, and flicked a glance at the SHIELD agents. "Let me show you."

Her hand movements were elegant and looked like weaving or sewing. They were more fluid than Loki's brusque movements mixing under magic and his natural _seiðr_ were when he peered into magic. She then pulled her hands apart, shoulder width, and then a pulsing motion upward. The movements she had made became solid, a tangled and three dimensional view of various colored threads. It didn't look like any kind of distinct pattern, but at the heart of it was a snarl so tight and black that it seemed to suck all the light from the room into it.

"There are different potentials in the _spá,_ you're aware of that. Manipulating this in one area can lead to all kinds of untold dangers. It takes a deft hand and a sense of the long term effects to let the spells pull through. There are some manipulating it from elsewhere without such finesse, and there is its shadow upon you."

With those words, Frigga gestured upward to the static threads and traced one straggling black line from the central snarling black hole. Her delicate finger eventually drew it down to a green bead, clearly one that had been sparkling before but now was cracked and dulled.

"The influence is there. It can become even worse, and I fear this path leads to your death." She tapped on the dulled bead, then plucked it out of her nested threads. The bead enlarged when she did so, becoming a coiled mass of green threads that were shot with flecked black and silver, too reminiscent of his armor. Frigga pulled at the ends of the bead that hadn't been visible before, and unfurled its entire length. One end still shimmered, looking like a glistening blade of grass freshly plucked off a lawn. The dulling began after a ways down the length of the thread, and then the sticky black entered into it. Patches of the original green showed through, but it seemed duller and somewhat unraveled. Its length ended abruptly in the sticky black.

"Death stalks me." Loki's voice was resigned. "That again."

"The things out there," Shannon blurted out before Frigga could speak. "The ones out there in space that you said were aware of Earth now. The things out there more dangerous than you. Is that what it means?"

Loki dragged his hand through the outstretched thread of Frigga's magic and dissipated the image in a flash of golden green. "It doesn't matter any longer. I have my tenure to endure, my weregild to repay. I cannot leave this realm."

"That may not be a long enough reprieve," Frigga murmured, dismissing the rest of her image. "I was going to try to work to such things, not say it all outright. But you seem to prefer it that way now, and this is too abrupt."

"Just tell me the truth," Loki replied, breath ragged in his chest. "I'll find a way once I know for certain what it is you wish to say."

"I would help you avoid it, if you would have me do the working."

"What would you need to change?" Loki asked, resignation in his voice as his gaze fell away from her face. Her features were more clearly apologetic at that point.

"What would you let me take?"

His gaze snapped back to her. "I can choose?"

"I need you to still be my son. I won't change that." She bit her lip and looked at him anxiously, tilting her head to truly look into his eyes. "What would you have me take?"

"If I tell you something, and it's not enough?"

"I'll make it enough."

"If even then it isn't?" Loki pressed.

She gave him another watery smile. "Well. There is always a price to be paid."

"And?" he pressed again as Gray blurted "What the hell does that mean?"

"I would carry the price."

Loki shook his head as Frigga said the words, backing away from her. "Then no, no, I won't let you do this. I won't let you take anything, I will fight you, your spells will fail if you try them on me." He ignored her beginning to plead with him. _"I won't let you do this!_ If it's my own stupidity at fault, it's my weregild as well. You won't carry the price of my actions!"

"In simple English for those of us that aren't casters," Shannon called out.

Frigga remained silent, her regal stance marred only by the same tilt of her head. It was up to Loki to turn to Shannon and Gray. "I made many mistakes. One of them was the choice of ally I made out of anger. I let them know about this realm, because I was angry with Thor and he liked it, and I wanted him to hurt."

"You mentioned him to me. You apologized for bringing this realm to his notice."

"Yes. My mistake," Loki said heavily. Though it was really only a mistake now that he actually cared about a handful of the mortals on it, and he hadn't cared when he had talked to Thanos. If anything, Thanos frightened him.

"The big bads are coming, aren't they?" Shannon asked quietly.

"My life would be forfeit unless drastic changes are made."

"Like?" Gray prompted.

"If she changes my _spá,_ then this terrible burden goes elsewhere. But to make a change that large, a price must be paid."

As the humans sputtered, Frigga reached out to grasp his chin. "The child of my heart is born in blood and ice. A creature of two natures, two needs, two hearts. When the darkness falls upon him, there will be more darkness and fire before it ends."

"I was always meant to fail, then." He wrenched himself away from her and shot her an accusing glance. "Did you—"

"I already changed your _spá,"_ Frigga murmured, spine straight and jaw tight. "I already altered the course of your life, and I already changed the destiny originally written for you. I did it once, I can do it again." She tried to smile, but it seemed brittle and forced. "I simply did not push it back far enough."

"If you cannot change it," Loki said, shaking his head, "then it cannot be done."

"It can be done."

"Not at the cost of your life!"

The two stared at each other, at an impasse.

"So..." Shannon began uncertainly, walking forward to interpose herself between them. "This is all something that goes according to strict rules. What happens if you introduce a hefty dose of untrained chaos magic into it?"

Frigga stared at her in shock, mouth parted. It was probably the most that her regal bearing would allow her to show.

Loki was shaking his head. "Don't. That girl is a _child."_

All eyes were on Loki then, but he didn't seem to notice. "Don't put her through that. Don't let her draw his notice. He'll be here soon enough."

The Queen was having none of that. "It may be enough. Chaos magic has its own rules, its own cost, its own changes."

He glared at Shannon. "Don't call her," he commanded. _"Don't."_

Shannon lifted her chin at the both of them. "It would be _her_ call to make, not either of you. Maybe she'll reject the possibility, maybe she'll want to give it a try. But if there's even a small hope of saving this world from potential damage, we should at least ask her." She looked at Loki's miserable expression but stayed still. "We didn't save this world from the Convergence just to let someone else ruin it."  
"She's a child."

"That still has agency," Shannon told him quietly. "Don't hide behind your fear of Thanos. We're all in this together, so let us work together."

"All he carries in his wake is death," Loki said in an equally quiet tone. He stepped away from Frigga's outstretched arm, no longer seeking her comfort. "If that's what the weregild is to be, then I have to be prepared to pay it."

"I'm pretty sure that working for SHIELD is that weregild," Gray interrupted. "I've gotten used to you, and I don't want to train a new partner," he added at Loki's incredulous expression.

Frigga stepped forward and clasped Loki's arms before he could spin away from her. "It can't hurt to ask."

"Don't you _dare_ take on my _spá,"_ Loki hissed at her, eyes raking over her face with a desperate edge. "And don't make that girl take it, either."

"I promise you, none of these mortals will fall due to my spells," Frigga soothed him.

Loopholes still existed, of course, but that was always the way of magic.

***  
***


	14. The Downward Spiral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys. Real Life hit hard since the last chapter was posted. Most recently it was my hubby getting hit with the flu (real flu, not Man Flu) and the kidlets being sick. So, before the next disaster hits, here's the chapter!

Wanda showed up with Pietro at her side at the appointed café in Midtown Manhattan. She met with Shannon Tran, Agent Gray, Loki and Frigga. The two mages were cloaked in concealment spells, hiding their Asgardian identities, and they looked like any other New Yorker having a latte and waiting for someone to join them. Pietro wasn't scowling at all of them, but eyed the two apparent strangers warily as he slipped into place beside his sister. "I don't know you," he said baldly, staring them down. "I will hurt you first if you try to harm us."

"They're not here for that," Gray told him mildly.

"I can fight _you_ if I need to," Pietro boasted.

"This isn't about fighting," Shannon interrupted with a tired sigh. She rubbed at her temple wearily and snagged her own mocha latte for its warmth as well as caffeinated goodness. "Not between us, anyway."

"Between who?" Wanda asked, glance flicking between all of them at the table.

"Let me sum up," Shannon said when Frigga was about to open her mouth. "Long story super short, death and doom and whatever seems to be tied to Loki's fate. Odds are good that it'll come here fairly soon. Can you help to change his fate?"

That was not what Wanda and Pietro had expected when they got on the train that morning, and it showed in their slack jawed expressions. "Um..."

"You will _not_ take on my fate, not to worry," Loki insisted behind his illusion.

Peering at him closely, Wanda narrowed her eyes. "Your dreams change."

"They do."

"You don't know what you dream."

"Not anymore, no," Loki agreed.

"I don't know about fate, or magic that you do, but I can borrow from that emptiness." Wanda sounded confident, though she was too new a mage to really be sure she could promise anything for sure.

"The safest place to work on anything around here is Avengers Tower," Gray said, giving the twins a sympathetic look. Both stared back with bland expressions, though Pietro practically hummed with anger.

"You don't have to like him," Shannon commented mildly, "but we can use the reinforced labs on his upper floors as well as the fact that if something goes wrong, other Avengers are most likely nearby and can help."

"We don't _need_ them," Pietro hissed.

"No, but you don't have to do everything alone," Loki murmured, standing. "Shall we?" Even with his glamoured appearance, he seemed vaguely ill. "Let's see if I can truly escape the fate that was willed to me since birth."

***

Pietro was trying to hide his awe at Avengers Tower and failing miserably, eyes darting everywhere at once. He had a hand on Wanda's arm as she preceded him behind Shannon and Loki. Gray and Frigga were in the rear, though not intentionally. Neither of them really spoke, and soon enough all six were swept up into the large space that had been set aside for the spell casters. It looked like a large conference room had been emptied, or a reinforced lab space that no one was using. Natasha and Clint were present; Steve had returned to Washington, DC to tie up loose ends and decide if he wanted to return to New York or not, and Thor was still offworld with Sif and the Warriors Three to meet with the Collector.

Loki and Frigga dropped their disguises as soon as the door to the room was shut, and Frigga seemed as regal as ever. Loki seemed frazzled, and didn't quite meet anyone's gaze. The tense edge didn't leave as Frigga explained to Wanda the concept of magic as she knew it as simply as she could, and the kind of magic she wanted to do to change Loki's fate. Before Wanda could say anything, Loki gave her a sharp look. "Do _not_ change anything at risk to your own life. Or let _her_ do it, either."

"Is that a thing?" Pietro asked, looking at everyone in concern.

"Magic is their specialty," Natasha replied with a shrug, bringing over chairs for the other to sit on. "We're just here in case we can help with anything."

"Like what?" the teen asked, an almost belligerent note to his voice.

"Honestly? We'd probably be a gofer," Clint said. At Pietro's blank look, he only shrugged. "You know, to _go for_ stuff? Spell components or whatnot if they don't have it here."

"Loki never mentioned that he would need anything," Shannon murmured, looking at the trio a little dubiously. "But that might be an under magic thing?"

"I have even less idea than any of you, probably," Gray said, sitting down. Pietro sat down next to him, then Clint. Natasha went off to get more chairs, and Shannon went to help.

Shannon ultimately stood stock still when she caught sight of silvery light rising in the center of the room, looking almost like the weaving picture that Frigga had shown them before. This time, it seemed more three dimensional that before, with a spiral of threads at the very center of it, looking like a tornado made out of glowing thread. A figure seemed to be caught in the center of it, the light moving along the threads closest to it. "Who is that?" she murmured, squinting as if that would help her see past the light of the webbing.

Natasha couldn't see it, and only stared at her curiously. "You know who they are. They walked in with you."

"No, the light—"

Loki looked over at her then, eyes wide, and Shannon found her mouth clamping shut at the sight of his panic. Or had he cast a sigil of silence on her? She could only see magic, not feel it, and the twisting lines were getting brighter in the center of the room.

"This might be a little complicated for you to understand," Frigga was telling Wanda, "but if you can see the way this is shaped right now..."

_You want to see, little one?_ a voice said in the back of Shannon's mind. _You were kind enough to bring me elsewhere._

It was the voice of the stone that had been in the Scepter, the power that had hijacked her body and sent her in different directions during her missing time. Shannon shuddered, eyes still nearly shut, eyelashes filtering out some of the bright light.

_There is no escaping fate, just pushing it out a little farther. Do you see what happened here? The impact of a choice or two? How many people in this room that shouldn't exist?_

Shannon couldn't really feel Natasha shaking her, but knew it was happening. Wanda was turning to look away from Frigga and was staring at her. There was recognition in her eyes, and her lips moved to whisper something in Sokovian.

The voice was gone from her mind, locked up tighter in Wanda's magical grip. She could move again, was alone in her own thoughts, and could still see the figure moving and straining inside of the whirlwind of brilliantly lit threads. The spiral kept going down and down and down, until it ended in a pit of darkness yawning wide.

"What is it that you really want?" Wanda asked Frigga, eyebrows raised in curiosity. "This is not a magic that I know."

"Fate is usually a strictly controlled thing," Frigga told her firmly. "It does not do well with chaos, and your magic is chaos incarnate."

Something didn't sound right in that, and Shannon tilted her head to look at Frigga. Loki caught the confused frown on her face, and then looked a little more closely to the center of their trio, where the spell was being constructed.

"...fueling the energies to unravel the bindings. Then we can reweave them into a proper shape," Frigga had continued, not catching Loki's concerned expression. She didn't move when he reached forward, to the center of the glowing knot of magic. As soon as he did, it became visible for even the nonmagical in the room. That caught her attention, making her sigh and look at him with a fond exasperation. "Stop that. We're trying to fix this."

"Something doesn't look right with this," Loki murmured, eyes fixed on the shape caught within the threads. "It isn't as familiar as it should be."

"We're changing fate, Loki," Frigga said patiently. "And the _spá_ is hardly your specialty."

Loki flinched at the gentle rebuke, pulling his hand back. Wanda looked at him in sympathy, and reached forward herself when the glowing was starting to fade. "What am I seeing, then?" she asked, head tilted as Shannon's had been. The psychologist was dragged off to the sidelines with Natasha, and Wanda saw her frown of concentration.

"The interconnected fates that tie together," Frigga explained. She started doing several complicated looking gestures with her hands and arms, pulling apart the threadlike aspects of the glowing tangle in front of them. "It's truly delicate business to change it properly."

"Why does she look sick?" Pietro asked, pointing to Shannon.

Wanda turned her head and said something in Sokovian to him, and a wisp of the red magic around her hands was pulled toward the threads in front of Frigga. Loki looked at her sharply, brows knit together. As Wanda continued to speak to Pietro, more of the red was pulled in, and Frigga seamlessly wove it into the tangled web.

"I don't think she is adept enough to do multiple things at the same time."

With a gentle and sardonic smile, Frigga looked at Loki. "Your talents lie elsewhere, darling."

Breath coming in short, he turned away from her and tried to keep his focus on the part of the spell he oversaw. Loki buried his hurt deep down, because she loved him. She'd even apologized for her part in his hurts, still called him the son of her heart. He'd wanted that, had hoped that he wouldn't have to let go of her, but this didn't feel right, either.

Loki looked up when the tightness in his chest didn't loosen as he expected it to. He thought he would see a knot that she was trying to work loose, something he could never have the patience to do it. What he instead saw was Wanda's magic being worked into the knots, the figure in the center of it all changing shape. That didn't feel comfortable at all. It didn't _feel_ right, and he didn't know exactly what he should look for. This wasn't his area of expertise, but he didn't recall these kinds of magicks feeling this way when he was trying to learn it.

"This isn't how it's supposed to go," Loki murmured as more of the red magic was woven into the nasty looking conglomeration of threads.

Frigga gave him another look, a mixture of condescension and pity. "Loki. I know what I'm doing, darling. Let me work."

He looked at her, hurt by the errant comment. She hadn't used belittling words like that in centuries, not since he was impossibly young and had nearly set the stillroom on fire. It would upset the balance of the spell if he stepped back, but he wanted to, and it hurt that he wanted to recoil from his own mother when their reconciliation was so tenuous.

It had to be more proof that he was the wrong one. Shannon was wrong, he had to be wrong, he was the child and this wasn't his forte. This wasn't the kind of magic that he knew inside and out, and his magic ability had been twisted inside and out for the better part of a year and a half anyway. How much of it actually really felt the same?

Something niggled at the back of his mind, though. It didn't feel right, even if his magic had changed and didn't fit inside of his body the exact same way. He had become something of the magic expert for SHIELD, and had resorted to undermagic for some time. Even with that being the only magic at his disposal for the past year, even knowing that he hadn't been able to cast any of the magic he had known, _something was wrong._

Loki lifted his hands and did the gestures that would give him a viewing lens into the deeper aspect of Frigga's casting. It might not clarify the patterns and the runes she was shaping in the entire design, but it would give him an idea of the overall shape.

The magic was tearing a hole in Wanda's soul.

In a frenzied panic, Loki shot forward and batted at the threads that Frigga was weaving, shouting in Allspeak that Frigga had to stop what she was doing, he _told_ her not to tear the future from the girl, not to fix his life at the expense of anyone else's.

He looked up into her calm face as he cried out, and instantly realized that Frigga knew exactly what she was doing. She had deliberately put Wanda's life at risk, and was deliberately siphoning off the chaos magic to fuel the weaving. On top of that, she had just as deliberately tried to make him think that he didn't know magic, that he was an idiot and she was still the master she had been for him since childhood.

She stood very still, hands still poised in the air as he gasped in pain, staring up at her. "Are you quite finished?" she asked calmly. "Really, Loki," she said in that gently chiding tone she always used to use for him. "This is a difficult spell, and I need to concentrate. We don't have time for these theatrics, no matter how you love them so."

"You're killing her," Loki whispered.

That didn't seem to upset her whatsoever. "I will change your _spá,_ and you had best let me do it properly."

"I told you that I don't want sacrifices. I don't want you to put her life at risk for mine."

Frigga gave him a fond and condescending smile. "Dear boy, this is complicated. Let me work."

_"NO!"_ Loki screamed, the sound tearing out of the center of his soul. It startled Wanda, who pulled back and stumbled out of their casting circle. Loki looked like he was flailing his arms in the dramatic manner Frigga accused him of, but in his panic he rent threads left and right, making a mess of the elegant design that Frigga was crafting.

Shannon was choking something, maybe Vietnamese, maybe not. He couldn't understand her, and didn't have eyes for anyone else but Frigga in that moment. Natasha was with Shannon, Natasha would take care of her. This was Frigga, this was his mother, this was his teacher. In this moment, she was everything and nothing, and he felt as though his heart was shredding in his chest. She had broken his faith, his trust, his understanding, and all with a serene smile on her face. She would paint him as the one who had done all of it, use his tainted history to make others see her false truth.

"You're killing her," he repeated, desperation making his voice rise. He couldn't even recognize what language he was using in his frustration and anger. "You can't do this."

Frigga looked at him, and he could see the determination behind the serene exterior that most would never know to look past. It was her queenly expression, the one she faced the court with when on the inside she seethed with rage. "I was raised by witches, boy. I know more magic than you ever will. I've forgotten more than you will _ever_ know. Do not question what I do to save your life and turn your _spá._ This is not your usual _seiðr,_ so _do not question me!"_

The entire room was silent, and the tangled mess of destiny in the center of the circle was nothing more than ragged threads. Perhaps his fate remained the same, perhaps he destroyed that as well. Maybe he truly had nothing left.

"You did everything I asked you not to," Loki said calmly, trying to slow his ragged breathing. He wanted to scream and rage and throw things. The room was conveniently full of chairs and people he couldn't truly care about. But his eyes were on Frigga, and succumbing to his usual impulses would only cement that he was a child, far inferior to her, and that would make her believe that he didn't know his own mind and had to be protected from himself.

Indeed, she was saying as much even as he was tuning her out.

_"You're not listening,"_ he hissed, cutting her off for perhaps the first time in his entire life. "I asked you to leave her alone. I asked you not to sacrifice anything for my sake. Not your life, not hers, not anyone's. If you could reweave the shape of my _spá,_ I would thank you for that. But not to sacrifice others in my name. I would _never_ ask that of you."

"You didn't have to ask."

"Whatever future you would purchase with their lives is not one I want," he insisted, jaw tight and teeth grit. "That you would continually pursue that against my wishes, that you would belittle me and my knowledge, that you would undermine everything I have ever learned and what I'm now trying to be—"

Frigga laughed, a scoffing sound that he remembered best in response to Thor's boasts which no one ever believed were true. "Loki, you truly misunderstand yourself, don't you?"

"You think my nature so fickle?"

"You've shown it to be so." Her smile was fond, but he couldn't trust it any longer. "So I have to save you from yourself. Again."

He stared at her for a moment, then straightened his spine and clenched his jaw. "I love you, Mother," he whispered, "but I never want to see you again."

"Loki," she began in a wheedling tone.

"You accuse me of creating atrocities I had no part in when it's convenient for you, and treat me as an idiot child in the next moment. You don't get it both ways. I am either a ruthless enemy of Asgard or the imbecile coddled into extinction. We both know I'm not that imbecile. We both know I'm capable of many things, whether great or damned." His chest hurt, and it was hard to breathe. His heart hammered in his chest, as if trying to break through his ribs or hollow out a space. Hands clenched at his sides, he shook his head when Frigga began to speak.

"No. You don't play victim now when you would undermine me, when you would _break_ me and call it love. You don't change who I am to suit your purposes. I'm not a relic in your armory any more than I am for Odin."

"You misunderstand the intention. We're all here to help you."

"I never want to see you again," Loki repeated, each syllable clearly enunciated. Frigga blinked in surprise and made no move to actually leave the room. "Do you understand me? There is nothing left here. You've shown me that. There is _nothing_ now. No tie to Asgard, no claim to that empty throne."

She was laughing then, as if he was joking, as if this wasn't shredding him from the inside out. A step toward him, and he backed up with jerky motions. Each step forward, he backed up. Now she frowned, tilting her head at him.

"I no longer welcome you in my life." Loki felt as though he was choking, the emotions foreign and sharp inside of the hollowing space inside him. "I never. Want. To. See. You. Again."

Each word punctuated, no mistaking it now. Three times was a charm, a spell, a magical intention that had to be followed through.

Something in her expression crumpled for a moment before the queenly mask was placed back on her face. Her chin lifted, and she swept out of the room in the midst of stunned silence, heading back to the main areas to have Heimdall retrieve her by Bifrost. Someone ran out after her, maybe Clint or Tony or someone, but Loki didn't bother to look and see.

He was collapsing to his knees, crumpling down into a ball, hands over his face as the sobs began. They were great, heaving ones, an ugly cry he had never allowed himself before. He couldn't be bothered to hide it, even though he was in the midst of Avengers Tower and it could be used against him. It didn't matter, that yawning hole inside his chest was growing, his throat hurt, he couldn't breathe, the world was ending and everything _hurt._

Shannon came close to him, kneeling down with him, a hand on his arm. He wanted to shake her off, especially when he could sense Wanda and Natasha as well. It burned, it hurt, it had to go away, but he was too wrung out and raw for this. He couldn't even muster up any rage, and how sad was that? He couldn't rage and intimidate the humans, could only let Shannon pull him into her lap, and he sobbed onto her with a desperation that cut his soul to ribbons. She carded her fingers into his hair, rubbed a spot between his shoulders and probably indicated that the others should leave the room. There were muted voices and quiet footsteps, Natasha saying "Take as long as you need," and his howling, ugly sobs.

All he could do was sob until the howling began, and let Shannon comfort him in the way his mother never could.

***  
***


	15. Bilocation

Loki stared out ahead of him, not moving a muscle. Natasha had done paperwork for him, Agent Gray had done others, and he was being given a wide berth that interdimensional war criminals would never deserve. He was locked into a comatose state, thoughts in a never ending cycle of self recrimination and grief. He had done this. He deserved this. Why could he ever expect to have anything more in this life?

He had been moved from Avengers Tower back to California, though he didn't remember the journey at all. His next clear memory was Tony Stark handing him an overfull glass of alcohol, saying that he understood the disillusionment that came from flawed parents, no mockery in his tone at all. "I thought I liked her, I'm sorry," he said, pushing a second glass into Loki's hand when he had no memory of finishing the first. "I guess none of us understood what you were really up against there, did we?"

Worst of all had been Thor, damn his eyes. He didn't rage or demand to know why he hurt their mother, why would he say such things. Perhaps he saw video taken, Loki wouldn't put it past Tony to have video of everything in the Tower. Thor sat beside him, took a hand in his two meaty ones, and simply remained silent with his own reveries. "Whatever else, I still claim you as family, if you would have me," Thor said finally. He said nothing more, nothing about how Loki had to do it, that he was lost with his misguided ideas of the past.

_I'm sorry_ was so pitifully inadequate, and the sting of yet another betrayal burned terribly. At least no one who had witnessed his uncouth display of emotion was saying such horribly trite words.

Fury even showed up, when he couldn't be bothered to answer the summons sent to him, and his single eye twitched at the sight of Loki. He didn't say anything right away, then compressed his lips tightly. "You are still under our jurisdiction. You have no focus right now, and I understand that. But in time, you still have to work for us."

Loki didn't even lift his eyes or try to infuse anger into a reply. "Of course," he said, voice dull.

"Wanda and Pietro Maximoff have signed up with the Avengers Initiative," Fury continued, his body still ramrod straight. "She requested that you work with her for magic instruction, and we're also looking into other practitioners we know of."

"She isn't beholden to you."

"No. She requested supervision and training." Something softened slightly in his tone, but Loki couldn't put his finger on it. "I think you would provide an interesting perspective for her."

"Due to murderous impulses?" he asked, voice flat.

"Because you tempered them."

Loki looked at him closely then, not sure what to say. "I wasn't sure I would."

Fury nodded thoughtfully. "Oh, and your therapist is also being requested."

His gut felt wrung out again, his universe bottoming out again. "Oh."

"She'll be part time, too," Fury continued. "I see the benefit of having someone familiar with what the Initiative members have gone through and can guide a debrief. Other than Romanoff and Barton, none of them have any experience with that. Even Rogers had to be taught the way we do things now. The others, though... They're little more than civilians."

Tony Stark's doing, he remembered now that the man had said something about how important it was to work through the past. That it helped to remember he wasn't alone.

She would likely travel by quinjet or plane, continue to work on two coasts. Shannon enjoyed her work, felt it was so important to continue with it, no matter what. He wouldn't lose her, wouldn't be yanked away from the only healthy connection he had left.

A moment's hesitation, and Fury stepped forward to lay a hand on Loki's shoulder. "Whatever else happened, whatever _will_ happen, you have a place here."

Loki nodded, swallowed thickly. His tongue felt awkward and overlarge in his mouth, as if he was unable to put syllables together any longer. Was he grateful? Angry? He couldn't even tell, but he was still cast adrift inside himself.

_You're grieving,_ Shannon had said. _There's no timetable for this, no right way to do it. I don't know what you feel comfortable with for your culture, and the literature we have here isn't the same as what you grew up with._ She had paused, but he had remained still and silent across from her. _We'll sit here, you and I, and grieve together._

No rage at those words, because he thought he understood what she was trying to say. Though it wasn't her loss, she would be there with him for however long he needed her to be. He didn't have to grieve alone, even if he felt it now.

Time passed, strange ebbs and flows. Sometimes he was almost aware of every moment, sharp against his mind, and at others it was blurred and soft at the edges, as if he wasn't even there. He wasn't inside his own body, his mind had taken off somewhere it couldn't be assaulted further. It was strange, how that was accepted, that no one took him to task for his tears. He should have been mocked, should have been belittled. It should have been called _argr,_ the worst insult to men, should have meant that no one would respect him again.

Instead, gazes were soft with pity or understanding, and none treated him like the useless runt that should have frozen to death soon after birth. Odin said his birthright was to die, Frigga wanted to change his future. Thor didn't know any of it, and would take whatever Loki would give him in this moment. These mortals banded around him, even when he had tried to kill them a year and a half ago, and were more than eager to protect him from the hurts that Asgard seemed intent on inflicting upon him.

Everything ached with an exquisitely painful kind of hurt. It burned, it _hurt,_ and he didn't know what to do with it. Maybe he never would.

Wanda approached him at last, when he seemed unable to be drawn from his stupor. She sat there in front of him, and quietly talked about her mother and father, about the city of her birth, the bombings and the war. She talked about the magic that had been pushed beneath her skin, the way her mind had expanded and changed under the influence of the stone that had been inside of the Scepter. Her brother had been changed by its proximity, but not in the same way. She was alone in this city now, the burden of magic upon her. Perhaps it was a curse, perhaps it was a blessing, but she knew she would make mistakes.

Loki looked up at her, saw the red chaos magic shimmering under her skin. It could lead to dozens of different futures, some good, some painful. Alone, that road would be even more full of thorns than his own.

He lifted a hand, palm up. Greenish gold magic shimmered there, and something tugged at his chest to see it. "I don't know if I deserve this, either."

His eyes watered and his lips trembled, and Wanda caught his hand in her red tinged ones. "I wanted a place to belong when I was lost." The stone had said the same of him as well a year ago. "Perhaps I've found it here. Perhaps you can, too."

Tears spilled over the edges of his eyelashes, and she nodded as if she understood how he felt. A teenager still, but she'd lost just as much as he had and her gaze held no pity. Both seemed to be inflicted with terrible burdens and responsibilities.

Neither of them had to do it alone.

***

"So I guess it's good I set aside a suite for you after all," Tony told Shannon with a rakish grin during his therapy session. The smile didn't even fade when she gave him a sharp glance. "What? Dread Pirate Fury told me."

"You still insist on calling people names. Or making jokes that aren't funny."

Tony's eyes crinkled and the smile on his face froze for a moment. "You didn't even see the décor yet, but you can change it to however you like."

"Why not just say what you actually mean?"

"I did," he said, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. "I set aside a suite just in case, and now I'm glad I did."

"You also tend to crack jokes that offend as much as you try to make people laugh. It puts people at arm's length." Shannon leaned back and crossed her own arms, mirroring Tony's posture. She tilted her head to the side and raised an eyebrow. "How about we do an exercise?" Before he could roll his eyes or scoff at her, she smiled. "Free association."

"Oh joy," Tony replied dryly, not hiding his sarcasm.

"Honest effort," Shannon reminded him.

He threw up his hands in frustration. "Yes, yes, that's the only way this works. You only say that a thousand times."

"Who are the ones that matter to you?"

"Rhodey. Pepper." His answers were instant.

Shannon nodded. "Who would you depend on in a fight?"

"The Avengers," he said just as instantly.

Nodding again, Shannon sat up straighter in her seat. "Who protects you?"

Tony blinked in surprise. "Pepper?"

She shot him a piercing look. "You aren't sure?"

He threw up his hands again. "It's not like I gave her much in return. But she did save my life a couple times already."

"Does she know what she means to you?"

"I don't know."

"Why not?"

Giving her an incredulous look, he shook his head. "She knows she runs my company better than I ever would. She knows I need to be managed. She knows that I'm nothing without her."

"Have you told her that?"

Tony shot her another incredulous look. "She _knows."_

"Like you know how your father felt about you?"

He flinched, and Shannon softened her expression. "I know it's hard, but sometimes you have to put yourself out there first. That you can't just assume people know what you think or feel. The jokes don't come across as funny sometimes. They're tone deaf, keeping others at arm's length. It protects you from that emotional pain, but you can be left alone at the end of it."

Letting out a long, slow breath, Tony rubbed at his face. "This is ridiculous."

"How comfortable are you with discomfort?"

He looked at her through his spread fingers. "I had shrapnel in my heart. Only a magnet fueled by a miniature arc reactor keeps it from killing me. I think I can deal with a lot."

_"Emotionally?"_

Tony's shoulders slumped. "I'm too tired to deal with this."

Shannon nodded. "It takes a lot of emotional energy to maintain that kind of mask."

Giving her a vulnerable look, he let out another breath. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

She raised her eyebrows at him. "The party line is that you know nothing about me. Which we both know isn't the case. Ask your question, and we'll see if it's appropriate."

"How did you know that Henry was the one?"

Her expression softened further. "I think in this case, some judicious sharing is appropriate," she murmured. "I think I know why you're asking." Shannon leaned back in her chair and folded her hands over her stomach. "I'm not the kind of person that looks at someone and says they're hot and I want to sleep with them. I need more of a connection than that. So it's not that there was any one particular moment. It was more gradual. We enjoyed each others' company, and I started looking forward to seeing him. I wanted to share things with him. I wanted to make him laugh and know everything that was important to him. I wanted to see his reaction to things. I couldn't imagine my future without him."

Tony was nodding as she spoke. "Yeah. I know I have a rep, but it's like that for Pepper. I just... I don't have a future if she's not in it."

"You need to tell her that," Shannon said quietly, unfolding her hands and leaning forward in her chair. "People don't know what you think. Or feel. They can't guess accurately. It can hurt, putting yourself out there, but you have to take that step. It's a risk, but it's one that has such a wonderful payoff."

He bit his lip. "And if she doesn't feel the same way?"

"It's a risk you take, and you'd have to accept it."

"It would kill me if she doesn't feel the same way."

"No matter what happens, I'll be here afterward."

Giving her a mirthless grimace of a smile, he nodded. "I guess so."

"If it helps, I think she's your Henry."

Tony looked at her earnest expression and laughed sadly. "I know she is. I also know she can do so much better than me, and she deserves better."

"Then maybe it's time to stop being the person you think your father wanted you to be, and be the person that Pepper deserves. She's the one here, and she's the one important to you. And honestly, I think you're more than capable of that."

His expression was bleak as he looked at her. "Really?"

"Really. You're capable of a lot more than you give yourself credit for, if only you'd let yourself do it. Sometimes, you're your own worst enemy."

Laughing, Tony scrubbed his face tiredly with his hands. "Only sometimes?"

"Sometimes you're actually kind."

Tony laughed harder at that, shaking his head. "Such faint praise."

"Put yourself out there, and maybe you'll earn more of it." Shannon softened the sharp words with a wry smile, making him laugh and nod again. "Next week?"

He nodded and stood. "Next week."

***

Everyone that had played a role in fighting on Svartalfheim and figuring out the Convergence was present in Tony Stark's observation deck, and soft background music was playing. Drinks and snacks were everywhere, and he awkwardly stood up near the bar. "So. Um. I wanted everyone to come together and say thank you for saving the world. Even if people around you aren't saying it, I wanted to." He lifted his drink a bit and met everyone's eyes in turn. "Thank you. It really means a lot to me that we can have each others' backs."

Rhodey was present and gave him an encouraging smile as he lifted his own glass. "Hear, hear."

"So, um. I figured it shouldn't be just emergencies when we all got together. Because apart, it's harder to really get a handle on how we work best, right?"

"Saying we all have to be friends?" Pietro said, voice harsh. He didn't flinch when Wanda smacked him in the chest. Beside them, Loki sat listlessly at the table, a stupidly huge beer stein full of expensive whiskey in front of him.

"Colleagues at the very least," Tony offered. "But yeah, I'm hoping friends. Because we work well together when we hardly know each other. I'm thinking we'll work together even better when we actually do."

"So like, pizza parties and movie nights?" Clint asked in a dubious tone.

"If that's what you want," Tony replied with a shrug. "I definitely have space to fit everybody. I can set aside space so you can crash here whenever you're in New York, no problem."

Steve rubbed the back of his neck uncertainly and looked around at the group. "Not that it's a bad idea, but..." He looked around helplessly. "It can't be that easy. We've got jobs elsewhere, some of us. Or Thor might have to go to an entirely different realm."

"I think it worked well with us all together on Svartalfheim," Tony said. He took a drink and put his glass aside. "Not that we can always hit up other realms for problems, but we're something like a team, right?"

He contemplated that and nodded. "Definitely works that way."

"So this is more of a team building thing," Bruce commented, sipping at his tea and looking around at everyone. "Not that we _have_ to do it, but it'll be nicer if we do."

"Exactly," Tony replied, pointing at Bruce with both hands. "Those were the words I was looking for, thank you."

"Huh." Steve leaned back in his seat and thought it over. "I don't think DC needs me every day."

Thor looked around. "I do enjoy having friends on many realms. And pizza was a delicacy I enjoyed very much in Puente Antiguo."

"Seriously, you do _not_ want Clint picking the movies," Natasha said.

Clint let out a dismayed noise. "Hey!"

"It'll be Disney or horror movies, no exceptions, trust me," she continued as if he didn't interject anything. "You can only take so much of that."

As laughter tittered, he shook his head and gave her a mockingly stern look. "Not everyone can handle documentaries and foreign films."

"I like learning things!"

"What do you like?" Wanda piped up, looking at Tony curiously.

"Action flicks, that kind of thing. Gets me out of my head for a bit."

"Too much tension for me most days," Bruce said, shaking his head. "I usually watch comedies if I get a chance to watch anything at all."

"Spy flicks," Rhodey said, raising his hand that didn't have a glass in it. "Or action."

"Better than dealing with a board room," Pepper commented, going to the bar to put her glass down. "But yes, probably too much tension in them."

"No, those plots are a joke," Natasha piped up. "I can suss out the bad guy within the first ten minutes of the movie!"

While that was going on, Clint poked Loki's arm. He turned bleary eyes to him, his expression blank. "Have you seen _any_ of these genres?" Loki shook his head.

"There aren't many of those American movies in Sokovia. Or if there were, we didn't get a chance to see them," Wanda offered. Pietro looked around the room with an expression that was at once sulky and challenging.

"Sounds like a challenge to me," Pepper declared, refilling her glass. "It's going to be a lot of movie nights to get through all of them." She looked over at Tony with a smile. "Think you can handle ordering that much pizza?"

"We'll switch it up. Different cuisines. We're in New York City, lots of great places to get food from. We can learn about food and culture and movies and all that stuff."

"I would enjoy such an exercise!" Thor boomed with a broad grin. He looked over at Loki, the brightness not dimming from his smile yet. "If we had lessons such as these, I might not have skipped some of them."

"You would have skipped them anyway," Loki intoned, tone still a bit dull. "You enjoyed fighting and pretending you were of the Einherjar."

Thor looked around the room. "And we are now, are we not? This is the Einherjar of this world, the first line of defense against trespass. Different skills and backgrounds for us all, but we are still uniquely placed to defend Midgard."

Tony looked around the room with a happy grin that brightened further when Pepper linked her arm through his and smiled proudly at him. "JARVIS? Let's coordinate schedules and get something going. Even if it's not movies and just hanging out over dinner."

"Should we extend the invitations to others as well, Sir?" JARVIS asked.

"Yep. Open invitation for the heroes and ancillary staff. They're just as important," Tony declared. Rhodey and Natasha were nodding proudly at him, too. "Not bad for someone that doesn't play well with others, huh?" he asked Natasha.

She grinned at him. "Maybe you just needed a good reason to."

He looked over the room of people. It was such a motley crew, yet they worked together well as a team. "Yeah, I guess I did."

***

Agent Miguel Gray wasn't in New York at that gathering because he and his boyfriend Daniel were having dinner at Shannon and Henry's home. It was their first dinner party, which went over pretty well. Henry and Miguel had met in London, and got along. Adding in Daniel was easy, and they wound up playing some card games after dinner and deciding to do it more often. Henry also planned to invite some of his work friends over as well.

Before leaving, Gray looked over at the large calendar hanging up on the wall joining the kitchen and dining room. It clearly listed which days that Shannon was going to remain in California, and which days she was going to be in New York to work with the Avengers. "So, it's official, huh? Working with the Avengers?"

"At least being available for them. Director Fury thought it was a good idea."

"Keep them in line and not crazy?" Gray joked.

Shannon poked his arm. "Help them decompress from trauma," she corrected with a smile. "But you know that, because you'd be on that list, too. Hell, working with Loki can sometimes count as a trauma all its own."

Gray snorted and shook his head. "Not lately. We had him over the other day. I asked Fury just in case that would be against some kind of protocol, but he said that it would be good to keep an eye on him right now."

Daniel was putting on his coat and approached them both. "There you are. I thought we were heading out?"

"Someone was snooping at my schedule," Shannon said, needling Gray goodnaturedly.

"From what Miguel told me," Daniel began slowly, "I'm glad you're working with them all. What I saw on the news was probably just a little fraction of what actually happened, and it's stressful. They're going to need someone to talk to. Loki definitely values your time with him."

She smiled warmly at him. "Thanks, Dan. And I'm sure you and Henry can commiserate on being the ones stuck behind when we're in New York."

"Better you guys than me. I like my office and my paperwork that makes sense. Half of what Miguel can tell me makes no sense at all," Daniel said, shaking his head ruefully. "But that's what it is working for SHIELD, I guess. Henry definitely is glad to be back in the private sector and not doing contract work."

"Yep, he's definitely happier. I'm where I want to be, though."

"Takes a special kind of person to stick with SHIELD," Gray acknowledged with a nod. "I'll see you next Tuesday, then? Loki was going to be in New York for a while, and there isn't anything that I was given about a magic case."

"Enjoy the break while it lasts," Shannon said with a laugh.

Once Gray and Daniel were out of the house, she wrapped her arms around Henry's neck and gave him a kiss. "Our first dinner party was a success."

He kissed her back. "Good guys." He grinned, and then nodded toward the dining room table. "And helped clean up, too."

"The important part," Shannon laughed.

"Man, I hate dishes."

Shannon laughed and kissed Henry again. "We have a dishwasher."

"It's the putting away and taking them out and the repetition of it all..."

"You're an engineer. There's repetition all over the place with your job."

Henry made a whining sound and then laughed. "Different when it's your job."

"You really don't mind I'll be in New York two days a week?"

"I get you the other five, and they need the help," Henry said, tightening his grip on her. "I'll survive for two days. And I can call you if I have to."

She tweaked his nose playfully. "Just checking. If it gets too much, I'll change my schedule again, okay?"

"Nah. Saying I know the Avengers makes me sound cool," Henry laughed. "We'll be okay."

And for the moment, the rest of the world would be, too.

The End.


End file.
